First day back at work was pretty great. Especially for a Monday. There was plenty to do, but I handled it, even had a good time. Was still in a good mood when I went home.
There were some Regulars who'd noticed I'd been gone and welcomed me back. That's always nice. And I didn't growl at or chew on anybody all night.
I'd like to keep this good mood going at work. We'll see how long it lasts.
And all thanks to the Girlfriend for helping re-adjust my mindset. She's the best.
Remember my Roommate and that Theft issue I wrote about awhile back? None of that's been resolved. And the people who apparently committed the thefts -- $800 worth of bounced checks, trying to open accounts on-line, etc. -- those folks are LIVING UNDER HIS ROOF RIGHT NOW. RENT-FREE. My rent money is helping to FEED them.
Not the first time this has happened.
The suspects are a jobless, homeless couple who Roommate invited into the house as a favor to a friend. The friend has not offered any help since the thefts were noticed. What kind of friend is he?
The couple argue constantly, worry about anyone who comes to the door, act sketchy, do nothing. The woman has FIVE kids -- who she doesn't have custody of. This should have told Roommate something.
But Roommate is willing to let ANYONE into the house. Especially if he's been drinking. And especially if Anyone is a woman he thinks he can Get Something from.
And then he whines afterward when someone steals from him.
Roommate has told me who I CAN'T bring to the house to quietly entertain in the room I rent from him. But he loves the whole world when he's drinking. And when he's had enough to drink he is oblivious to what happens around him.
Prying an update from him about the Thefts has been like pulling teeth. He says TWO law-enforcement agencies are involved. He says the couple will be going away to jail for a long time. He says his bank has covered the $800 in bad checks, so he's all happy. He says he's got it all wired. He's just waiting until the arrests are made. He knows where the culprits are.
And he's feeding them, allowing them to use his bathroom and laundry, watch his TV, sleep together in the bed he bought for someone else. While they do nothing, pay for nothing. We're all great friends around here. And this has happened before.
Why the hell hasn't he thrown them out? What is he thinking? He won't tell me.
Meanwhile, I have bank statements that are missing. I have bills that have seemingly never arrived in the mail. I've had to start checking my bank-account balance every day. Nobody's stolen anything from me yet, but I sure don't feel secure. Things have been moved and messed with in my room. Several times.
There's a whole lot more, but I'll spare you.
I started moving out piece-by-piece over a week ago. That slow-motion move will continue. Roommate hasn't noticed. But I'm sick of all the drama. And now it's affecting ME.
Roommate seems to think this is all a game -- that it's LOTS of fun when he knows things I don't. Roommate bitches at me over the smallest things, but he's being real nice to the couple who stole $800 from him.
It's been damn hard not to tell him off. I still have to tell him he needs to look for a new roommate. But I'm waiting for the right time -- like maybe when all my stuff is out of the house. I'd like to end this with no arguments, but I don't see how that's gonna happen.
Roommate may be getting big yuks out of this, but I'm going to have the last laugh. Because I'm not going to be there much longer. And then Roommate's gonna have to find a new sucker to help pay for his mortgage and pay for his beer and feed his "friends."
I should have been out of there two years ago, the last time he picked a fight with me for no reason, just because he wanted someone to argue with. Everything since then has been a downhill slide. And he just gets weirder.
I know this post has nothing to do with Strange Music or books, and I apologize. But when you read here, you get whatever's on my mind. And this has been on my mind a lot.
Any advice? Other than to try and lighten up, I mean...?
Showing posts with label nothing in common. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nothing in common. Show all posts
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Sunday, July 20, 2014
A marriage made in heaven
I have this roommate. My roommate has this girlfriend. Sort of.
Even though money is tight and we can barely feed ourselves and stay ahead of the bills, over the last few months my roommate has let his sort-of girlfriend move into the house, bringing all of her stuff with her, and taking over a bedroom my roommate could have rented-out for at least $300 or $400 per month.
My roommate is not being "a nice guy." He Wants Something from this sort-of relationship. And he's not getting it. She won't sleep with him. She always has some kind of lame excuse.
She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't have a job. She's technically homeless. She gets food-stamp money every month, and spends it at the nearest grocery store ... but she also has five little nieces and nephews that live nearby, and most of the food ends up going to them. And my roommate has to go pick them up when she wants to see them.
When she cooks, it's for the kids. She never cleans up after herself, no matter how big the mess. She won't do dishes.
When she's in the house, she always has the TV blaring -- even when she's asleep. A couple days back she noticed some of the old record albums I have stashed in my room -- Aretha, Al Green, THE MOTOWN STORY. "There's some great old stuff here," she said. "You should play some of it."
"I would," I said, "if you'd ever turn the TV off."
She can be drunk by 11 a.m. She can go through a bottle of wine or vodka in a day, easy -- and start looking around for more. And when she gets a good buzz on, she won't shut up.
When she's really hungover, she spends all day in her room and never makes a sound.
She sometimes creeps around the house like a drug addict, sneaking in and out so no one can ever tell when she leaves or returns. Sometimes she leaves the TV turned up to cover the sound of her sneaking out. Sometimes she leaves just before my roommate gets home from work -- maybe so she won't have to deal with him...?
She's stolen money from my roommate three times. Last winter, a $1,000 electrical generator was stolen out of the back yard when she was the only person in the house -- she claims she never heard a thing. For awhile, I was constantly carrying my laptop and checkbook with me, because I don't trust her. I'm still carrying the laptop -- it's too easy to grab and go pawn-off.
My roommate has threatened to leave all of her stuff out on the front porch, has threatened to haul all her belongings to the dump. He wants her to go back to school, get her GED, go to college.
She'd rather stay home, get drunk, and stare at the TV.
My roommate drinks too, and when they're both drunk, it's something to see. She'll call his name every few minutes about something, and he'll snap at her. When he's REALLY hammered he calls her every name in the book. They can sit on the couch for hours sniping at each other.
She's never around on weekends, because she's out partying with someone else, people we don't know about and have never met.
She's young enough to be his daughter.
What I want to know is What does he get from this "relationship."
When he's drunk, my roommate can talk for HOURS about all the people in his life who have screwed him -- from his parents and his family to his co-workers to his roommates. EVERYBODY'S out to screw him over.
And he must have a real martyr complex, because he's setting himself up to be screwed again.
When I ask what he gets from her, all he says is "It's better than being alone."
No. There are lots of things that are worse than being alone. One of them is being stuck with someone who doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you.
I've told my roommate he's being used, and he just blows it off. He's in denial. Unless he's really drunk, and then it comes out in the ugliest possible ways. He knows what's going on....
When they get after each other, I usually go hide in my room and try to ignore them. Sometimes it's like they want me there to play referee. I won't do it. They argue anyway, and sometimes I don't get much sleep.
But there's been no violence, so far. Lots of yelling and abuse, but no violence.
Everybody has issues, but Jesus. After seeing these two go at it, I'm surprised anyone ever gets close to anybody, anymore. Do they think this crap is "Normal"?
What do women want? What do men want?
It's hard enough trying to figure out what I want.
Even though money is tight and we can barely feed ourselves and stay ahead of the bills, over the last few months my roommate has let his sort-of girlfriend move into the house, bringing all of her stuff with her, and taking over a bedroom my roommate could have rented-out for at least $300 or $400 per month.
My roommate is not being "a nice guy." He Wants Something from this sort-of relationship. And he's not getting it. She won't sleep with him. She always has some kind of lame excuse.
She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't have a job. She's technically homeless. She gets food-stamp money every month, and spends it at the nearest grocery store ... but she also has five little nieces and nephews that live nearby, and most of the food ends up going to them. And my roommate has to go pick them up when she wants to see them.
When she cooks, it's for the kids. She never cleans up after herself, no matter how big the mess. She won't do dishes.
When she's in the house, she always has the TV blaring -- even when she's asleep. A couple days back she noticed some of the old record albums I have stashed in my room -- Aretha, Al Green, THE MOTOWN STORY. "There's some great old stuff here," she said. "You should play some of it."
"I would," I said, "if you'd ever turn the TV off."
She can be drunk by 11 a.m. She can go through a bottle of wine or vodka in a day, easy -- and start looking around for more. And when she gets a good buzz on, she won't shut up.
When she's really hungover, she spends all day in her room and never makes a sound.
She sometimes creeps around the house like a drug addict, sneaking in and out so no one can ever tell when she leaves or returns. Sometimes she leaves the TV turned up to cover the sound of her sneaking out. Sometimes she leaves just before my roommate gets home from work -- maybe so she won't have to deal with him...?
She's stolen money from my roommate three times. Last winter, a $1,000 electrical generator was stolen out of the back yard when she was the only person in the house -- she claims she never heard a thing. For awhile, I was constantly carrying my laptop and checkbook with me, because I don't trust her. I'm still carrying the laptop -- it's too easy to grab and go pawn-off.
My roommate has threatened to leave all of her stuff out on the front porch, has threatened to haul all her belongings to the dump. He wants her to go back to school, get her GED, go to college.
She'd rather stay home, get drunk, and stare at the TV.
My roommate drinks too, and when they're both drunk, it's something to see. She'll call his name every few minutes about something, and he'll snap at her. When he's REALLY hammered he calls her every name in the book. They can sit on the couch for hours sniping at each other.
She's never around on weekends, because she's out partying with someone else, people we don't know about and have never met.
She's young enough to be his daughter.
What I want to know is What does he get from this "relationship."
When he's drunk, my roommate can talk for HOURS about all the people in his life who have screwed him -- from his parents and his family to his co-workers to his roommates. EVERYBODY'S out to screw him over.
And he must have a real martyr complex, because he's setting himself up to be screwed again.
When I ask what he gets from her, all he says is "It's better than being alone."
No. There are lots of things that are worse than being alone. One of them is being stuck with someone who doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you.
I've told my roommate he's being used, and he just blows it off. He's in denial. Unless he's really drunk, and then it comes out in the ugliest possible ways. He knows what's going on....
When they get after each other, I usually go hide in my room and try to ignore them. Sometimes it's like they want me there to play referee. I won't do it. They argue anyway, and sometimes I don't get much sleep.
But there's been no violence, so far. Lots of yelling and abuse, but no violence.
Everybody has issues, but Jesus. After seeing these two go at it, I'm surprised anyone ever gets close to anybody, anymore. Do they think this crap is "Normal"?
What do women want? What do men want?
It's hard enough trying to figure out what I want.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Roommates....
OK, I'm gonna B ranting & raving & bitching here 4 awhile (as usual), so if U wanna change channels right now I don't blame you.... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
So I have this roommate, J, who I've shared a house with 4 the past 3-1/2 yrs. It's HIS house. I just rent a room here.
I always pay my rent on time, I clean up after myself, I wash the dishes & throw out the trash & mow the lawn & pick-up the mail. A few times a year I try 2 cook something without poisoning us. When $$$ gets tight I sometimes find a way 2 cough up some Xtra cash. When the washer died, my income-tax return bought a new 1. When the lawnmower died, my tax return bought a new 1. When I KILLED the lawnmower awhile back, I paid 4 the repairs. But J never seems 2 remember this.
I don't play my strange music 2 loud (& never when J's at home) & I don't make much noise mosta the time. I'm not a real social person. I read & write & play my strange music & go 2 work, & if I can B left alone with what personal time I have left, that suits me just fine.
I know I'm grumpy & moody, that I can B a challenge 2 live with. I've bn like this mosta my life. I'm probly not gonna change much now.
J's a good guy & his heart's in the right place. He's gone a long way out 4 me, more than 1nce. If I have car troubles, he can usually fix them. Awhile back when I managed 2 boil-over the car radiator & kill the car's battery at the same time, J bought me a new battery & a new thermostat. & I paid him back in full the next time I got paid.
...But he drinks. A lot. & when he does, some pretty freakin' ugly things come out of his mouth.
J thinks he doesn't drink that much. He thinks he's cut back. He only drinks 3 or 4 18-packs a week, now. & he wonders why no women will go out with him. If they heard what he sez about them when he's drunk, they'd never get NEAR him.
If anybody wants anything from J, money or a favor, all they needta do is wait & ask him when he's drunk -- they won't havta wait long, & he'll give in every time. (He was drunk when I asked 2 borrow the $$$ 4 a new computer a coupla yrs back -- I'm no saint, either. I know how things work....) He'll especially give in if the person asking 4 the favor is a woman -- he'll do almost anything 4 a little attention.
J has 1 DWI conviction on his record -- & he knows if he ever gets another he'll lose his job. But that doesn't keep him from driving 2 the store when he's had a few. If he's drunk enuf, he'll blow $300 at the grocery store, or more at Wal-Mart. It's happened more than 1nce.
The worst part, 4 me, is that he's LONELY -- & that gets worse if he's been drinking. The 1st coupla yrs I lived here, I can't remember how many times we were up til 4 am just TALKING -- J usedta B able 2 do LONG monologues about how much his job sucked, & he'd never let the audience get a word in -- he just needed 2 get the frustration out, no matter how long it took. 1 time when he was REALLY shitfaced he told me the same story about work 3 times within 10 mins....
When he's had a few, he likes 2 turn on CNN, turn it up & start solving the world's problems. Sometimes he has some really good ideas, 2. But it depends on how much he's had 2 drink. Sometimes he'll feel sorry 4 all the hungry, homeless people Out There -- & a few mins later he'll B absolutely SURE that each 1 of those hungry, homeless people R sucking up his tax dollars -- why don't they just get a freakin' JOB?! .... I could live with this, but he Bcomes such an expert, such a freaking KNOW-IT-ALL after a few drinks -- he knows everything, he's done everything, & I haven't done shit.
Awhile back when I came home from my vacation, the 1st thing outta his mouth (he was shitfaced) was: "What are YOU gonna cook for dinner?!" Then, when he didn't want what I suggested, he said: "I'm sure glad yer back, cos I'm sicka walkin downhill 2 get yer mail...." He said he thot I might not come back from vacation, or that I might come back just long enuf 2 pack my things & move out.... Clearly he was sorta jealous that I went off & hadda good time without him....
Then he suggested we go hit his favorite bar. Trust me, taking me 2 a bar is about as appropriate as me taking J 2 a bookstore or a library -- I've never suggested it. But J won't let the bar thing go, it's always in the back of his mind. He thinks it'll cheer me up. The 1 time we went he blew $140 & then blamed me 4 it.
Leave me alone. That'll cheer me up.
Awhile back we hadda couple other roommates. 1 was a balding wanna-B-biker guy who's favorite phrase was: "Everything's gonna be all right, baby...." He was here 4 a coupla months B4 he fell in love with some1 & moved out. Then we got stuck with 1 of his old girlfriends -- who promised 2 cook & clean & do the dishes in Xchange 4 a break on the rent -- & then never cooked or cleaned. She never paid her rent on time 4 over a year, & I feel like I helped feed her 4 most of that time. Finally she moved out back at the end of Feb. I won't miss her. Not 1 of my favorite people ever.
Recently J has moved 2 a new work shift, so now I see him every day, not just on my days off. 1 of the reasons this arrangement useta work is cos we hardly ever saw each other & I didn't havta deal with what an ugly drunk he can sometimes B. Now I can't avoid him. Is there some kind of law that sez you HAVE 2 converse with the people you live with?
Awhile back, J thot I should try 2 apply 4 a job where he works -- after all the ugly stories I've heard about the place, why would I wanna do THAT? & Bsides, I don't want 2 C my roommate 24/7....
A decade ago, after my divorce & after my X-wife came & took the kids away, I had a huge old 4-bedroom house all to myself.
& I thot the silence was gonna drive me crazy.
Now I'm sure that I'm never going 2 B completely happy until I have my own place & can do what I want, when I want, & not havta worry about stepping on any1 else's toes.
3 more years in Washington will pay all of my major bills, & then it's back 2 Idaho where it's quieter & where at least I've got my family & a coupla old friends I can fall back on.
I'm tired of repressing who I am & what I do, postponing what I want 2 do, & caving-in & doing what a roommate wants 2 do, just 2 keep peace with a roommate.
Who I am & what I do is actually pretty boring, so I don't C why it should B a problem.
If NE of you out there have ever been in this situation -- how'd you put up with it?
...Sorry, this is kinda depressing. I shouldn't bitch. My life ain't so bad. I thot I could get some kinda comedy out of this. ... But I don't think it's gonna happen this time....
So I have this roommate, J, who I've shared a house with 4 the past 3-1/2 yrs. It's HIS house. I just rent a room here.
I always pay my rent on time, I clean up after myself, I wash the dishes & throw out the trash & mow the lawn & pick-up the mail. A few times a year I try 2 cook something without poisoning us. When $$$ gets tight I sometimes find a way 2 cough up some Xtra cash. When the washer died, my income-tax return bought a new 1. When the lawnmower died, my tax return bought a new 1. When I KILLED the lawnmower awhile back, I paid 4 the repairs. But J never seems 2 remember this.
I don't play my strange music 2 loud (& never when J's at home) & I don't make much noise mosta the time. I'm not a real social person. I read & write & play my strange music & go 2 work, & if I can B left alone with what personal time I have left, that suits me just fine.
I know I'm grumpy & moody, that I can B a challenge 2 live with. I've bn like this mosta my life. I'm probly not gonna change much now.
J's a good guy & his heart's in the right place. He's gone a long way out 4 me, more than 1nce. If I have car troubles, he can usually fix them. Awhile back when I managed 2 boil-over the car radiator & kill the car's battery at the same time, J bought me a new battery & a new thermostat. & I paid him back in full the next time I got paid.
...But he drinks. A lot. & when he does, some pretty freakin' ugly things come out of his mouth.
J thinks he doesn't drink that much. He thinks he's cut back. He only drinks 3 or 4 18-packs a week, now. & he wonders why no women will go out with him. If they heard what he sez about them when he's drunk, they'd never get NEAR him.
If anybody wants anything from J, money or a favor, all they needta do is wait & ask him when he's drunk -- they won't havta wait long, & he'll give in every time. (He was drunk when I asked 2 borrow the $$$ 4 a new computer a coupla yrs back -- I'm no saint, either. I know how things work....) He'll especially give in if the person asking 4 the favor is a woman -- he'll do almost anything 4 a little attention.
J has 1 DWI conviction on his record -- & he knows if he ever gets another he'll lose his job. But that doesn't keep him from driving 2 the store when he's had a few. If he's drunk enuf, he'll blow $300 at the grocery store, or more at Wal-Mart. It's happened more than 1nce.
The worst part, 4 me, is that he's LONELY -- & that gets worse if he's been drinking. The 1st coupla yrs I lived here, I can't remember how many times we were up til 4 am just TALKING -- J usedta B able 2 do LONG monologues about how much his job sucked, & he'd never let the audience get a word in -- he just needed 2 get the frustration out, no matter how long it took. 1 time when he was REALLY shitfaced he told me the same story about work 3 times within 10 mins....
When he's had a few, he likes 2 turn on CNN, turn it up & start solving the world's problems. Sometimes he has some really good ideas, 2. But it depends on how much he's had 2 drink. Sometimes he'll feel sorry 4 all the hungry, homeless people Out There -- & a few mins later he'll B absolutely SURE that each 1 of those hungry, homeless people R sucking up his tax dollars -- why don't they just get a freakin' JOB?! .... I could live with this, but he Bcomes such an expert, such a freaking KNOW-IT-ALL after a few drinks -- he knows everything, he's done everything, & I haven't done shit.
Awhile back when I came home from my vacation, the 1st thing outta his mouth (he was shitfaced) was: "What are YOU gonna cook for dinner?!" Then, when he didn't want what I suggested, he said: "I'm sure glad yer back, cos I'm sicka walkin downhill 2 get yer mail...." He said he thot I might not come back from vacation, or that I might come back just long enuf 2 pack my things & move out.... Clearly he was sorta jealous that I went off & hadda good time without him....
Then he suggested we go hit his favorite bar. Trust me, taking me 2 a bar is about as appropriate as me taking J 2 a bookstore or a library -- I've never suggested it. But J won't let the bar thing go, it's always in the back of his mind. He thinks it'll cheer me up. The 1 time we went he blew $140 & then blamed me 4 it.
Leave me alone. That'll cheer me up.
Awhile back we hadda couple other roommates. 1 was a balding wanna-B-biker guy who's favorite phrase was: "Everything's gonna be all right, baby...." He was here 4 a coupla months B4 he fell in love with some1 & moved out. Then we got stuck with 1 of his old girlfriends -- who promised 2 cook & clean & do the dishes in Xchange 4 a break on the rent -- & then never cooked or cleaned. She never paid her rent on time 4 over a year, & I feel like I helped feed her 4 most of that time. Finally she moved out back at the end of Feb. I won't miss her. Not 1 of my favorite people ever.
Recently J has moved 2 a new work shift, so now I see him every day, not just on my days off. 1 of the reasons this arrangement useta work is cos we hardly ever saw each other & I didn't havta deal with what an ugly drunk he can sometimes B. Now I can't avoid him. Is there some kind of law that sez you HAVE 2 converse with the people you live with?
Awhile back, J thot I should try 2 apply 4 a job where he works -- after all the ugly stories I've heard about the place, why would I wanna do THAT? & Bsides, I don't want 2 C my roommate 24/7....
A decade ago, after my divorce & after my X-wife came & took the kids away, I had a huge old 4-bedroom house all to myself.
& I thot the silence was gonna drive me crazy.
Now I'm sure that I'm never going 2 B completely happy until I have my own place & can do what I want, when I want, & not havta worry about stepping on any1 else's toes.
3 more years in Washington will pay all of my major bills, & then it's back 2 Idaho where it's quieter & where at least I've got my family & a coupla old friends I can fall back on.
I'm tired of repressing who I am & what I do, postponing what I want 2 do, & caving-in & doing what a roommate wants 2 do, just 2 keep peace with a roommate.
Who I am & what I do is actually pretty boring, so I don't C why it should B a problem.
If NE of you out there have ever been in this situation -- how'd you put up with it?
...Sorry, this is kinda depressing. I shouldn't bitch. My life ain't so bad. I thot I could get some kinda comedy out of this. ... But I don't think it's gonna happen this time....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
