The Gas Nazi returns!

Back at work for two weeks and am due for another vacation already. Some nights have been a breeze, a couple have sucked. Thursday night was the worst in months. And I don't think it was just me having a Bad Night.
It's summer, and it's been krayzee-busy. Unhappy families hanging out barking at each other, parents buying beer but angrily refusing to buy cheap snacks for their kids, guys on bicycles circling around the parking lot aimlessly at midnight with no headlights, meth freaks wandering around like zombies. Some of them LOOK like zombies.
One obnoxious Regular who played scratch-tickets down to his last dime last winter came in all sad to tell me that his girlfriend had slept with his brother AND his best friend. "But NOT at the same time," he felt compelled to add. Meanwhile, his anorexic 18-year-old girlfriend stood right outside the store's front door, looking more lost than he did.
What did this guy want from me? He's not my friend, he's not even a friendly acquaintance. He'd already blown any chance of getting a supportive or compassionate response from me when he treated me like an idiot months ago. I didn't need to be told this stuff. And now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him?
My favorite drunk came in at two minutes to midnight to cash-in $35 worth of scratch-tickets, and I about came unglued. Because we've talked repeatedly about this before, about how I'm trying to close, scratch tickets are locked up, she's causing me more work and overtime I won't get paid for, etc. Made no difference.
"Why won't you take my tickets? You've still got three minutes," etc. So I cashed her out. But next time I'll send her somewhere else. The state shuts off scratch-ticket cash-outs at midnight. We'll see how she feels about that.
This is on top of all the usual work, all the stuff I get no help with, all the stocking and cleaning nobody else does that I can't keep up with, etc. And it wasn't THAT busy a night. We barely made $1,000. There've been many much-busier nights. But something about it really set me off. And I was lost by the time I got home. What if it's ME?
Despite this, despite the demands, despite the constant WANT-WANT-WANT and the crabiness when we didn't HAVE, I wasn't mean to anybody all night, I didn't yell at anyone, I didn't say any mean things. I held it together. Even with the drunk at midnight, though she wondered aloud why I was having such a hard time. That was because I wanted to wring her neck. By then I was Done.
My girlfriend says if I ever want to feel settled about my job, all I can do is change my mind and learn to live with it, because the situation's never gonna change. You'd think after 12 years on the job I'd KNOW that, but....
In light of this, I have come up with a list of goals to help me succeed and be happier at my job. Because of all the bitching I've done here about work, I know you'll appreciate me sharing them:
1. Don't WORRY.
2. Get through my shift and get home safely.
3. Don't upset customers.
4. Be nice to people.
5. Get all my side-work done.
6. No more negative talking to myself or customers.
7. Don't give my co-workers a hard time.
8. Stop judging people.
9. Be positive.
10. Enjoy myself, have fun, play!
11. Save money, win the Lottery, RETIRE!
My girlfriend says these are all do-able goals. Maybe not realistic, but do-able. I'll keep you posted....
When's my break?

MOVING: It's in the works. I'm already forwarding my mail here, to the girlfriend's house, where it's quiet and secure and Not Weird and I have some peace and time to think. Still haven't told the old Roommate yet, but he seems to know it's coming -- since I haven't slept under his roof in 2 months. Nor has he given me an update on the idiots who stole $800 from him. So far, all my stuff is secure, no weirdness with my bank account or any more attempts to mess with my credit. I may have dodged one. And I hope those jokers get sent up the creek. Meanwhile, all of my CD's and most of my clothes are here, books are being brought over a box or two at a time, and the girlfriend and I have found domestic bliss like I never thought I'd feel again. At least one part of my life is wonderful.

INVASION: It's the Russians! Over the last few weeks, this blog has set new records for viewership, with 75 percent of those visits coming from Russia. What are they looking for? There's nothing here. I'm not getting 400 views from Russia each day just because they're such big Nektar fans, I know that. And they're "reading" stuff I posted five years ago. Are these the same hackers who got into Hillary Clinton's e-mails and hacked the Democratic National Committee? Good Luck, guys. But there's nothing useful to you here....

THE ELECTION FROM HELL: I don't believe a word Hillary Clinton says. And some of Donald Trump's statements at the Republican Convention sounded like Hitler. Or at least Barry Goldwater back in 1964. Neither of these idiots really seem to believe they can rescue this country -- they just say what their audience wants to hear. They have NO SOLID PLANS for the future. If Bernie Sanders came out today as a third-party candidate millions would vote for him. The system is so fucked-up I doubt it matters WHO is President. Don't know what to do, but I've got my tickets to New Zealand reserved. Is this the best this country can do? Once again I suggest we JUST VOTE NO.

Marathon continues

Only nine days to go!
Last night was my busiest night at work since Christmas. Folks ran me ragged. It was SO busy I didn't even play any music. I was too afraid I'd miss something or lose track.
Without hot chocolate I would not have survived the last two hours and made it home.
LOTS of people out for the long weekend. Lots of partyers, though they were almost all in a good mood. Let's hope that continues.
Interesting that there's always a few people who think all rules are suspended because it's summer and a holiday. One drunk guy came and pounded on the front door at 12:30 last night -- half an hour after we closed -- and couldn't understand why all the lights were off and I wouldn't open the door for him. Even after I repeated "We're CLOSED" and made cutting gestures across my throat, he still didn't get it. It's not like the lights are shut off for "mood lighting."
These days, after closing at midnight, I don't unlock the door for people I don't know. It never leads anywhere good. Besides, I'm usually busy counting money.
After he got tired of pounding on the door, the drunk guy did a little dance (surprised that he didn't fall down) and climbed back into the truck he arrived in. Thank Ghod he wasn't driving. But the driver might not have been much better off -- they drove away with no headlights on.
There's a cop out there waiting for you. Don't get into town much, do ya?
Maybe I just don't have enough summer holiday spirit. I don't like your attitude, man.
When I got to work Friday, the place was a wreck. Of course it HAD been busy. But.
Our soda machine leaked all over -- under the cabinet and onto the floor. The rugs were soaked. And none of my co-workers noticed. Or could figure out why.
Because the soda hoses were clogged and the water backed up. Duh. I get so tired of having to be the guy who notices things.
Took my boss half an hour to call the soda company and see if they'd come look at it.
When the service guy came, he pulled lotsa gunk out of the hoses and dumped half a gallon of water down the drain. We coulda had a flood.
That's why I'm here, to notice this stuff. But more and more it seems like I'm here so my co-workers don't have to think, and to do the stuff they don't want to be bothered with. It's time for a raise.
On Thursday night, we had a kid on a bike begging for money in the parking lot. I mean, a kid. Maybe 10 years old. A bossy woman Regular came in asking if the kid -- who I hadn't noticed before -- had "been around all day" begging for money, and lecturing me on how she shouldn't have to be bothered by that.
I've got no trouble telling a kid to go somewhere else, but I told her she's occasionally going to encounter beggars here. I can't control everything. And people have no shame.
Whatever she told the kid, he vanished before she did. But at least she went away, too.
My girlfriend thinks part of my problem about attitude and grumpiness at work is because I don't eat enough of the right foods, and I eat too much junk.
I took a sandwich with me to work last night, indicating that I tend to believe she's right.
And I DID feel better after eating, of course.
But it was so busy that it took me two hours to finish that sandwich.
Don't get me wrong. It's all been pretty smooth so far. And I've been rolling along OK with almost all of it.
But man, the weirdness....
And Monday and Tuesday will be ALL OVERTIME, so I really shouldn't whine.
More updates coming soon. Unless y'all are bored already....

Broke/Hot

Hey there. Writing this at work, so can't stay long.
Am as broke now as I've been in months -- the 10 hours per month I've been cut back at work is really starting to bite.
So, over past couple days have been piling up music and books to take to Half-Price Books in Tacoma for some cash. I haven't been there in five years, so I'm overdue -- if they're still in business. I'm thinking maybe they'll give me $50 or maybe $75 for the two HUGE boxes of stuff, and I'll be a little ahead of the bills. Sorry to whine. Right now I can't even afford the $4 to get over the toll bridge....
Most of the stuff that's going is books I've never successfully gotten into or will probably never read -- and lots of music I've repeatedly tried to get into with no luck: Mahavishnu Orchestra, John McLaughlin solo, some Weather Report, some Return to Forever, Gong, early Soft Machine, Hatfield and the North, some Spirit, Brand X, some King Crimson vinyl that I also have on CD, other odds and ends and some beat-up old stuff.
If this slows down my plans for a Strange Music Guide, ah well -- I'm not making very quick progress on it anyway, and I need the bucks.
Course there's always a chance something at Half Price will catch my eye, and if so I'll report on it here. I've never had much self-discipline....

It's HOT here -- supposed to be 90 or over this weekend into next week. That's hot for western Washington. My apologies to you out there who are suffering 100-degree-plus temperatures. As humid as it gets here, we might as well be over 100. Best part of coming to work these days is the air conditioning -- which is miraculously still working....

I owe another steak dinner to 2000 Man, who gave a four-star review to my GAS NAZI! e-book at Amazon.com's Kindle Store. It is so nice to know some people actually GET what I'm trying to do, or at least enjoy reading my fumblings....
Hope to get back to blogging more often here soon. All the best....

"Sales" update

Holy crap! Something like 60 people -- could that be right? -- have picked up FREE copies of my latest e-book, THE GAS NAZI!, since the free promotion started on Wednesday. I think the freebies continue through Sunday, June 29th, at Amazon.com's Kindle Store, so go to it you crazies!
AND the book got a freaking FIVE-STAR REVIEW from a guy in California I don't know and have never met! How freaking awesome is that? Told ya I wasn't kidding around about this writing stuff....
Thank you for your kind attention, and I'm gonna go have a big head for awhile....
Still not getting rich doing this, but right now I don't care.
More soon....

#740: It's over

THE GAS NAZI!: TEN YEARS IN A CONVENIENCE STORE is available now at Amazon.com's Kindle Store. It's $2.99, as are my other e-books. It's around 190 Kindle pages -- right at 59,000 words.

I think it's worth it, just for the comedy and outrage.

I missed my April Fool's Day deadline. I wanted to get the book out on April Fool's Day so that if my co-workers ever read it, maybe I wouldn't get fired. Maybe if they could take it as a joke or as fair comment and criticism, maybe the heat would be off. We'll see....

Anyway, the extra week's delay in getting the book finished was partly because I had to mess with it a bit. Because I'm paranoid. Because the gas station is a job I still have, I decided the best way to protect myself and sort-of guarantee my continued future employment was to cast the book as a "novel," as a piece of fiction. Even if everybody knows it's really just a memoir in disguise. My hero Brian Aldiss showed me how that's done last summer, when I read his BRIGHTFOUNT DIARIES and the lightbulb went on over my head about how easy this book-writing stuff could be.

So. All the characters' names have been changed, all the place-names. The rest is as real and detailed as I can remember it. And I left in all the comedy and outrage that comes from dealing with The Public.

I think the result is as funny as GUARANTEED GREAT MUSIC! and as twisted as THE CONFESSOR -- sort of a cross between the two. And it's not like I had any choice. This is the stuff that wanted to come out.

You'll get not just the weirdness and stress and overwork, but also the comedy and the outrageous stuff  no one would ever believe if I hadn't lived through it.

You'll meet the store-owner who couldn't stop screaming! You'll meet the old man who exploded in the restroom! You'll meet the drunk guy who threw burger parts at the store! You'll meet the hyper guy who threw Twinkies everywhere! You'll meet all the people who screamed as gas prices went through the roof! And more.

If it's any help, the week's delay in getting this thing done gave me time to think of more stories that should have been included in the book. The more I wrote, the more I thought of. Each day I thought of a few more things, and as soon as I finished getting them down, something else would pop into my head. The result was that in the last week the book suddenly became 6,000 words longer -- until I had a night at work that seemed like a perfect way to finish the book.

And now I'm gonna take a break from this book-writing stuff for awhile. I've written three of them since the middle of last August, something like 550 pages, and I'm starting to feel a little thin. I still have a half-finished Guide To Strange Music that I want to get done, and a memoir about growing up fast with my wild-ass step-brother that only needs a long phonecall to complete.

But I need a break. Maybe I'll blog here more. There's an idea. Thanks to those of you Out There who've put up with my absence the last few months....

And if I should get fired for writing this book, I'll keep you posted about what happens next. After talking to all the area media about it, of course....

Currently reading Ramsey Campbell's PROBABLY, a collection of essays the horror writer has written over the last 30 years. It's WONDERFUL. To me it's much funnier and much more human than his novels and short stories.

Some of it's laugh-out-loud funny, which is a totally new experience for me when reading Campbell.

Some of the pieces are reviews of other authors' works, some are forewards or afterwards to his own novels and story collections, and there are several long, very revealing pieces about his childhood and about what it's like to be a best-selling horror writer. It ain't all free drinks down at the pub! ...There's also a long piece on English schoolgirl-spanking videos that has to be read to be believed....

Only drawback is it's a little pricey, a limited-edition book that's a little rare -- but if you're a sucker for Author's Notes like I am, it's pretty great....

Heard some great work by a heavy rock band called Pelican on SOUND OPINIONS last night -- loud, ominous King Crimson-style instrumentals, no vocals. The SOUND OPINIONS guys called Pelican "heavy metal," but to me they sound just heavy enough. The first music in awhile that's opened my ears. Might work for my continuing need to hear some LOUD guitar sounds.... I'm gonna have to check them out as soon as I finish typing this.

More soon....

#739: Book 3 update

Hey there. Sorry I haven't been around here much lately. I'm not directly connected to the Internet these days, and I've been Busy -- I'm 180+ pages/50,000 words into THE GAS NAZI BOOK. It's almost done. I'm proofreading it now and tossing in little bits and pieces as I go. I hope to have it finished and Out There as a Kindle e-book around April Fool's Day. I'm hoping that if it comes out on April Fool's Day maybe my employers will take it as a joke and not fire me for writing it. Ahhahahahaha, as Keith Moon might have said.
Meanwhile, I remain bored with most music. Am currently playing tapes of Olde Favorites at work. Went through a women-rockers-only phase, then a rockin'-country-women phase, neither of which lasted too long. Being bored with music sucks. Anybody got any (cheap) suggestions?
Based on a review by my buddy Crabby, I tried out Gretchen Wilson's UNDER THE COVERS -- her CD of rockin' cover versions of old Classic Rock hits ... but .... She's OK on some of the rockers. First time I've ever been able to understand ALL THE WORDS on Rod Stewart and Faces' old hit "Stay With Me." She was OK on Billy Squier's "Everybody Wants You." Her version of Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" was ... very restful. But restful's different than haunting.
She DOES have a helluva backing band. They're pretty great. Was especially impressed with them on Zep's "Over the Hills and Far Away." But Gretchen should have punched her vocals up more. She's mostly buried by her band. She sounds like she's singing karaoke. And Gretchen has no excuse, because she produced the CD....
Wish I had some good music news. I'm sure it's just a phase. Please feel free to pass on to me any of your fave raves. I could use them.
More soon....

#738: Outtakes

I've mentioned here before, and I went on at some length in GUARANTEED GREAT MUSIC!, about how the Pretenders' first album helped get me through 1980 alive, about what a stress-reducer it was for me at the end of what I thought then were some pretty stressful workdays.
I was an idiot about the stress -- I didn't even know what stress WAS, back then. But the Pretenders' album helped de-stress me. It worked every time.
I failed to mention that their follow-up singles were a pretty big deal to me, too.
I'd bought the imported picture-sleeve release of their gorgeous second single "Kid" while making my mind up to buy the album. And as the follow-up imported singles came out after the album, I bought them too: The gorgeous, dreamy "Talk of the Town"; the guitar brashness of "Message of Love," with that loud, trebly, immediate mix that jumped right out of the speakers at me. And Chrissie Hynde's whispery voice from the heavens at the end: "Talk to me, darlin'...."
Then those two singles appeared on EXTENDED PLAY, a stopgap while we all waited for their next album. I don't remember much about the other songs -- "Porcelain" might have been OK; "Cuban Slide" was some kind of dance number; wasn't there a live version of "Brass in Pocket"? Or was that "Precious"?
When the album finally arrived, it was a minor disappointment -- just because it didn't change my life like the first one had. Along with the earlier singles, PRETENDERS II included the gorgeous "Birds of Paradise" and the dreamy "I Go to Sleep," and the hilarious "Pack it Up." "The Adulteress" wasn't bad, neither was "Louie Louie" and "English Roses." But it was a step down from the first album.
Their later classic "Back on the Chain Gang" got me through the last days of Air Force basic training -- and then I heard "My City Was Gone" at journalism school. They still Had It. When LEARNING TO CRAWL finally showed up, it added "Time the Avenger" and "2000 Miles" and maybe "Middle of the Road" to my list of their unforgettables.
I cherry-picked their later stuff: "Don't Get Me Wrong," "Hymn to Her." I'm still doing it, after finally hearing "Human" off their GREATEST HITS -- I resisted it at first, but the verse-lyrics are too good. I don't play "I'll Stand by You" much, but I still find Chrissie's softer side to be pretty great.
Likewise, The Who was a big deal when I was at the record store. My Manager Gary was a HUGE Who fan, and we played all their releases to death -- THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT, QUADROPHENIA soundtrack, FACE DANCES, HOOLIGANS best-of. KIDS had some OK oddities and live or rare cuts on it -- I just thought it was a great excuse to crank up "I Can See for Miles." The movie was even better.
I didn't need to be convinced to play the remixed songs on QUADROPHENIA -- I'd loved them since junior high school in late 1973. "Love, Reign O'er Me" and "Bell Boy" rocked my world back then, and I couldn't understand why they weren't bigger hits.
But "5:15" was all new to me, along with "Doctor Jimmy" and "I'm One." We ended up playing the entire album in-store.
FACE DANCES was a half-great comeback. It got played practically 24/7 in the store as soon as Gary pulled it out of the box. I loved the hit "You Better, You Bet" -- but after "The Quiet One" on Side 1, I thought it got kind of thin.
Side 2, though, should have been minted in gold. "How Can You Do it Alone?" was another of Pete Townshend's funny sex-as-physical-torment songs (like the underrated "Dreaming from the Waist" on WHO BY NUMBERS), "Daily Records" was a gorgeous, timeless reel that should have been a hit, "You" was an angry blaster from John Entwistle, and "Another Tricky Day" seemed to sum up the times. Except for the weak last half of Side 1, a triumph.
HOOLIGANS was one of MCA's 9-million Who best-of repackages, a 2-disc set of mostly pretty obvious stuff with a scattering of surprises. I think the high-tech-but-driving overlooked 1972 single "The Relay" might have been included here, but I didn't notice it at the time -- it would make a perfect release today, in these times of omnipresent government surveillance.
Basically, I thought HOOLIGANS was a really good excuse to crank-up a side of greats from WHO'S NEXT ... along with "Who Are You?," "Music Must Change," etc.
...I also failed to note in the book that my Manager Gary wasn't always lurking over my shoulder watching for me to mess up. He was also the first person I ever heard mention what a great memory-trigger the best music can be.
"Nothing else can rekindle a memory for you like music can," I once heard him tell a customer. "It can take you back to where you were, what you were doing, how old you were, where you were at, what you were feeling. And it can do it all instantly. There's nothing else like it to conjure up old memories."
He was right. Kind of a commonplace, now, but he was the first guy I ever heard express it. And I should have included this in my record-store book. But I didn't remember it until this past week.
Naturally, it was a piece of music I heard off the radio a few days ago that brought THIS memory back to me. And naturally, I can't remember what the song was....

97 crazy people took a chance and downloaded my newspaper-career memoir THE CONFESSOR when it was available for free at Amazon.com's Kindle Store a couple of weeks ago. Ghod bless you all, and I hope to hear what some of you thought of it. More giveaways of my e-books will be coming in the future -- I promise to keep you posted.
...I'm 25,000 words into THE GAS NAZI BOOK!, which is coming along MUCH easier and faster than anything else I've tried to write since Christmas. It should be done and available in a few weeks! In it, I promise you'll find WAY MORE unbelievable outrageous stories about dealing with The Public....
My memoir about growing up fast in Idaho, BROTHERS, is cooling off right now, because I'm disappointed with it. It definitely has all the teenage heartbreak and angst I expected, but it Needs Something. Perhaps a phonecall to my step-brother in Michigan -- who I haven't talked to since 1975 -- will help pull it all together. I'll keep you posted.
...And then there's LISTEN TO THIS!: TAD'S GUIDE TO STRANGE MUSIC, which remains on hold while I get this other stuff done. Hey, I gotta write the stuff that WANTS to come out.
...And if all else fails, there's always that Rock Group Novel....