Back at work for two weeks and am due for another vacation already. Some nights have been a breeze, a couple have sucked. Thursday night was the worst in months. And I don't think it was just me having a Bad Night.
It's summer, and it's been krayzee-busy. Unhappy families hanging out barking at each other, parents buying beer but angrily refusing to buy cheap snacks for their kids, guys on bicycles circling around the parking lot aimlessly at midnight with no headlights, meth freaks wandering around like zombies. Some of them LOOK like zombies.
One obnoxious Regular who played scratch-tickets down to his last dime last winter came in all sad to tell me that his girlfriend had slept with his brother AND his best friend. "But NOT at the same time," he felt compelled to add. Meanwhile, his anorexic 18-year-old girlfriend stood right outside the store's front door, looking more lost than he did.
What did this guy want from me? He's not my friend, he's not even a friendly acquaintance. He'd already blown any chance of getting a supportive or compassionate response from me when he treated me like an idiot months ago. I didn't need to be told this stuff. And now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him?
My favorite drunk came in at two minutes to midnight to cash-in $35 worth of scratch-tickets, and I about came unglued. Because we've talked repeatedly about this before, about how I'm trying to close, scratch tickets are locked up, she's causing me more work and overtime I won't get paid for, etc. Made no difference.
"Why won't you take my tickets? You've still got three minutes," etc. So I cashed her out. But next time I'll send her somewhere else. The state shuts off scratch-ticket cash-outs at midnight. We'll see how she feels about that.
This is on top of all the usual work, all the stuff I get no help with, all the stocking and cleaning nobody else does that I can't keep up with, etc. And it wasn't THAT busy a night. We barely made $1,000. There've been many much-busier nights. But something about it really set me off. And I was lost by the time I got home. What if it's ME?
Despite this, despite the demands, despite the constant WANT-WANT-WANT and the crabiness when we didn't HAVE, I wasn't mean to anybody all night, I didn't yell at anyone, I didn't say any mean things. I held it together. Even with the drunk at midnight, though she wondered aloud why I was having such a hard time. That was because I wanted to wring her neck. By then I was Done.
My girlfriend says if I ever want to feel settled about my job, all I can do is change my mind and learn to live with it, because the situation's never gonna change. You'd think after 12 years on the job I'd KNOW that, but....
In light of this, I have come up with a list of goals to help me succeed and be happier at my job. Because of all the bitching I've done here about work, I know you'll appreciate me sharing them:
1. Don't WORRY.
2. Get through my shift and get home safely.
3. Don't upset customers.
4. Be nice to people.
5. Get all my side-work done.
6. No more negative talking to myself or customers.
7. Don't give my co-workers a hard time.
8. Stop judging people.
9. Be positive.
10. Enjoy myself, have fun, play!
11. Save money, win the Lottery, RETIRE!
My girlfriend says these are all do-able goals. Maybe not realistic, but do-able. I'll keep you posted....
When's my break?
MOVING: It's in the works. I'm already forwarding my mail here, to the girlfriend's house, where it's quiet and secure and Not Weird and I have some peace and time to think. Still haven't told the old Roommate yet, but he seems to know it's coming -- since I haven't slept under his roof in 2 months. Nor has he given me an update on the idiots who stole $800 from him. So far, all my stuff is secure, no weirdness with my bank account or any more attempts to mess with my credit. I may have dodged one. And I hope those jokers get sent up the creek. Meanwhile, all of my CD's and most of my clothes are here, books are being brought over a box or two at a time, and the girlfriend and I have found domestic bliss like I never thought I'd feel again. At least one part of my life is wonderful.
INVASION: It's the Russians! Over the last few weeks, this blog has set new records for viewership, with 75 percent of those visits coming from Russia. What are they looking for? There's nothing here. I'm not getting 400 views from Russia each day just because they're such big Nektar fans, I know that. And they're "reading" stuff I posted five years ago. Are these the same hackers who got into Hillary Clinton's e-mails and hacked the Democratic National Committee? Good Luck, guys. But there's nothing useful to you here....
THE ELECTION FROM HELL: I don't believe a word Hillary Clinton says. And some of Donald Trump's statements at the Republican Convention sounded like Hitler. Or at least Barry Goldwater back in 1964. Neither of these idiots really seem to believe they can rescue this country -- they just say what their audience wants to hear. They have NO SOLID PLANS for the future. If Bernie Sanders came out today as a third-party candidate millions would vote for him. The system is so fucked-up I doubt it matters WHO is President. Don't know what to do, but I've got my tickets to New Zealand reserved. Is this the best this country can do? Once again I suggest we JUST VOTE NO.