It's the Fall of 1973 in Boise, Idaho, & Life Is Good.
I'm in 9th grade at North Boise Junior High, just starting to figure out what I'm good at & what's ahead of me. I'm on the school newspaper staff, writing silly comedy columns for my mostly-silly classmates. I know I want to be a writer when I grow up.
I'm living in the basement of my parents' house on Bannock Street in the North End, just off of 23rd St., in a two-tone brown stucco house from the early '50s -- & for the first time ever I don't have to close my bedroom door to get some privacy, because except for calling me to dinner, nobody ever comes downstairs!
I'm writing in that basement -- short stories for English class & newspaper assignments mainly, & I'm playing the radio, & I'm reading constantly. Sometimes all three at once.
My Cousin Dave has joined the Navy, & somehow I've inherited several boxes full of his old science-fiction novels & short story collections, & old mid-'60s issues of GALAXY and WORLDS OF IF magazines, with stuff like Larry Niven's first stories, & classic old Harlan Ellison stories, Robert Silverberg, parts of Roger Zelazny's great CREATURES OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS, & LOTS more. I'd give anything to get those old magazines back now.
Among the books are Terry Carr's great BEST SCIENCE FICTION OF THE YEAR anthologies (with Graeme Leman's hilarious "Conversational Mode" & Joe Haldeman's gritty "Hero"), & tons of novels, & story collections from the mid-'60s that I'll never see anywhere ever again -- Tom Boardman's ABC'S OF SCIENCE FICTION, CONISSEUR'S SCIENCE FICTION, & probably even Harlan Ellison's OFFBEAT CLASSICS OF SF. All this stuff is rare & priceless now, & it's all long gone.
I trade-off almost all of it at The Used Bookstore that's a 2-minute bike ride from my house. I spend DAYS there, picking up newer SF magazines & stuff that I'm more interested in. This starts a lifelong addiction to SF, kicked-off by discovering ANALOG magazine & reading George R.R. Martin's amazing & surprisingly erotic "A Song for Lya." & the thousands of paperbacks in the store are available for a 2-books-for-1 trade, or for 25 cents each.
Back home the radio is going through a golden autumn. KFXD is kicking butt among pop stations in the Boise Valley, as it always did. They're playing stuff like Steely Dan's "My Old School," 10 C.C.'s "Rubber Bullets," Emerson, Lake and Palmer's "Still ... You Turn Me On," Pratt and MacClain's "When My Ship Comes In," Cozy Powell's "Dance With the Devil," Austin Roberts' "One Word," The Sutherland Brothers and Quiver's "You've Got Me Anyway," Elton John's "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding," "Grey Seal" & "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting," Matthew Fisher's "Interlude," Mike Oldfield's "Tubular Bells"....
Over on the FM dial there's signs of life, as KBBK uses their brand-new no-static-at-all computer-automated format to blast out Yes's "Starship Trooper," which I've never heard before -- though I soon obtain a copy of Yes's YESSONGS & start playing it over&over on my tape-player....
On the radio at night I can pick up Art Finley's talk-radio show from San Francisco, L.A. Kings hockey games from Los Angeles, oldies rock&roll from Vancouver B.C. Canada & Oklahoma City & El Paso, Texas, & all-news from Omaha. From right in town I get CBS's Radio Mystery Theater.
& if there's nothing good on the radio I've got dozens of cassettes filled with hits from the past few years & other silliness -- some of the hits go back to early 1971: The Wackers' "I Hardly Know Her Name," Kracker's "Because of You," Johnathan King's "A Tall Order for a Short Guy," Billy Lee Riley's "I've Got a Thing About You Baby," Manfred Mann's Earth Band's "Living Without You," Joni Mitchell's "Raised on Robbery" & loads more, stuff it takes me YEARS to find again after the tapes fall apart -- The Royal Guardsmen's "Snoopy's Christmas," The English Congregation's "Softly Whispering I Love You," Five Man Electrical Band's "Absolutely Right." Some I never find again -- like Heaven Bound's "Five Hundred Miles" & The Road Home's "Keep it in the Family."
My record collection at this point is Nothing Much -- lots of singles, but on albums only Neil Diamond, Bread, Lobo, The Carpenters, Three Dog Night, The Osmonds, Mike Oldfield. But when we visit my Cousin Jim's house, he's got a ton of albums left to him by Cousin Dave, & he puts on DAYS OF FUTURE PASSED and SGT. PEPPER and BEATLES '65 and The Monkees' HEADQUARTERS and The Turtles' HAPPY TOGETHER and Count Five's PSYCHOTIC REACTION and Tommy James & the Shondells' CRIMSON AND CLOVER, & tons more.
M*A*S*H and THE WALTONS are all I care about on TV -- MASH because it's so freakin' funny. & John-Boy Walton is my hero & role-model.
With Cousin Jim I ride my bike all over the city & never crash or get hit by cars. I somehow ride the bike all the way to the top of Highland View Drive -- halfway up the Boise Front, it seems like -- then turn & coast all the way back downhill, really picking up speed, & roll halfway across town through the North End, somehow avoiding cars & signal lights & stop signs & traffic cops.
I've just turned 14 years old, & I'm likely never going to have this much totally innocent fun ever again....
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
#669: The torture never stops
(No, this is not going to be a post about Frank Zappa, but thanks for playing....)
In these recent newspaper-reminiscences I've posted, I've left out one of the main reasons I don't do that kind of work anymore.
Because it's a high-stress job, & as a reporter it's VERY easy to get people angry at you without even trying.
You usually don't see it coming, but folks can go off about the craziest things.
I had one angry woman call me up after a domestic dispute she was involved in made the front page of the weekly paper I was working at. Her husband got charged with assault with a deadly weapon -- a kitchen knife.
She wasn't mad about the story -- which quoted her kids telling police that Daddy said he was "going to cut Mommy's head off." That didn't bother her.
What she was upset about was the HEADLINE, which covered all the cases that got into court that week -- which included some meth-possession cases -- & which she said made her sound like a meth freak.
"All my neighbors and friends think I'm methed out of my head now," she said.
I explained that the story didn't say that.... That wasn't good enough for her. She hadn't actually READ the story. So I READ THE STORY TO HER OVER THE PHONE, to make it clearer. She was still pissed about the headline. Finally I said I couldn't teach her friends & neighbors how to read....
After a downtown house fire on a Saturday evening destroyed an apartment building & set-off some ammunition somebody had stored there, when I got into work on Monday I called the Fire Chief for more details about what happened. He didn't have 5 minutes to talk to me -- he said he was too busy running water lines for the new Fire Hall. He didn't want any of the other firefighters to talk to me about it either, said I'd have to wait 'til he was available -- then hung up.
I called him back at 10 p.m. that night, & he STILL didn't have time to talk to me.
But we were a daily paper (published Tuesday through Saturday mornings). So I got what details I could from the Sheriff's Office & went ahead & wrote the story without the Fire Chief -- but left in quotes from him about how & why he avoided me.
& naturally, the next day when I got to work, the Fire Chief was in my Publisher's office, yelling at my Editor & my Publisher about what a backstabbing scumbag I was.
"I've lived here for 35 years and I don't have to take this kind of shit from you!" he yelled.
"I just want to know two things," I said. "Did I get any of the details wrong?"
"No!"
"Did I quote you accurately?"
"Well, yeah, but...."
"I'm outta here," I said, & left my bosses to argue with the Fire Chief -- who wanted to get me fired for not waiting to talk to him.
This kind of stuff happened ALL THE TIME. It was so stressful, the Publisher & I used to have closed-door meetings once a month so we could yell at each other & get all the stress out....
When we printed a photo on the front page of a fisherman's body that was fished out of the river after he'd been missing for a month, people called & yelled at us about that -- even though all you could see was a big gray bag being carried by four guys.
When a prominent local lawyer ran for Mayor -- then got arrested on a meth-possession charge, I wrote the story. & then the Editor & I sat on it for 3 days because we just weren't sure. This was a story that could ruin someone's life. Then our Publisher ordered us to get off the pot & print the story. We ran it on Page 2.
& the next day the Mayoral candidate called up crying. How could I DO this to her, she asked. I'd interviewed her, I'd been IN HER HOUSE! Her husband, also a lawyer, who was listening in on the phonecall, asked if they could've had a little advance warning about the story. I suggested that if they'd had any warning, they probably would've tried to stop the story from being printed.
He laughed & said I was probably right.
I apologized to his wife, who I thought was a good person, & said I was sorry for how things had gone, & that I hoped it would all work out in the end.
She lost the election & never spoke to me again. I'm not sure what happened with the meth charge.
When I was in the Air Force, I got used to defending my writing against people who didn't understand what I did -- but who outranked me, so what they wanted was what went. I got pretty good at it anyway, even convincing some that I was right.
But in the Real World, everybody outranked me. No amount of Good Work I did (& I think I did a LOT) ever made it any easier. No doors opened more easily just because I was good at my job. There was never any big payoff or reward. There were never any "better" jobs offered other than in-the-trenches reporter or small-town editor.
& I can't remember how many times people called at midnight or 4 a.m., spilled their guts to me for two hours, & then said "This is all off-the-record, you can't use any of this, I never called you" ... even AFTER I told them at the start of the phonecall that I'd be taking notes.... But I always tried to be A Good Guy....
When I was in the AF, my old buddy & fellow editor Phil Guerrero had a joke about the kind of long, involved stories I used to write: "Keep typing 'til it makes sense!" For years, that was my motto.
But I got to the point where no amount of explaining made any difference, where everything was just too complicated, & I could no longer even find the main reason I was writing some things. For much of the last four years of my "career," I'd go into work on Monday morning, down a pot of coffee, write the entire front page of the paper, & go home that night not remembering anything I'd written.
Journalism is a career for a young person with lots of time & lots of energy & no social life. It's the kiss of death for marriages & families. You wouldn't believe how many divorced, alcoholic, unhappy reporters I met over the years....
& when I got to the point where I couldn't remember the basics, couldn't keep the facts straight, was making stupid mistakes, couldn't make any sense out of anything I was writing, no matter how much I tried to explain -- I knew it was time to retire.
That was 11 years ago, & I don't miss much of it.
In these recent newspaper-reminiscences I've posted, I've left out one of the main reasons I don't do that kind of work anymore.
Because it's a high-stress job, & as a reporter it's VERY easy to get people angry at you without even trying.
You usually don't see it coming, but folks can go off about the craziest things.
I had one angry woman call me up after a domestic dispute she was involved in made the front page of the weekly paper I was working at. Her husband got charged with assault with a deadly weapon -- a kitchen knife.
She wasn't mad about the story -- which quoted her kids telling police that Daddy said he was "going to cut Mommy's head off." That didn't bother her.
What she was upset about was the HEADLINE, which covered all the cases that got into court that week -- which included some meth-possession cases -- & which she said made her sound like a meth freak.
"All my neighbors and friends think I'm methed out of my head now," she said.
I explained that the story didn't say that.... That wasn't good enough for her. She hadn't actually READ the story. So I READ THE STORY TO HER OVER THE PHONE, to make it clearer. She was still pissed about the headline. Finally I said I couldn't teach her friends & neighbors how to read....
After a downtown house fire on a Saturday evening destroyed an apartment building & set-off some ammunition somebody had stored there, when I got into work on Monday I called the Fire Chief for more details about what happened. He didn't have 5 minutes to talk to me -- he said he was too busy running water lines for the new Fire Hall. He didn't want any of the other firefighters to talk to me about it either, said I'd have to wait 'til he was available -- then hung up.
I called him back at 10 p.m. that night, & he STILL didn't have time to talk to me.
But we were a daily paper (published Tuesday through Saturday mornings). So I got what details I could from the Sheriff's Office & went ahead & wrote the story without the Fire Chief -- but left in quotes from him about how & why he avoided me.
& naturally, the next day when I got to work, the Fire Chief was in my Publisher's office, yelling at my Editor & my Publisher about what a backstabbing scumbag I was.
"I've lived here for 35 years and I don't have to take this kind of shit from you!" he yelled.
"I just want to know two things," I said. "Did I get any of the details wrong?"
"No!"
"Did I quote you accurately?"
"Well, yeah, but...."
"I'm outta here," I said, & left my bosses to argue with the Fire Chief -- who wanted to get me fired for not waiting to talk to him.
This kind of stuff happened ALL THE TIME. It was so stressful, the Publisher & I used to have closed-door meetings once a month so we could yell at each other & get all the stress out....
When we printed a photo on the front page of a fisherman's body that was fished out of the river after he'd been missing for a month, people called & yelled at us about that -- even though all you could see was a big gray bag being carried by four guys.
When a prominent local lawyer ran for Mayor -- then got arrested on a meth-possession charge, I wrote the story. & then the Editor & I sat on it for 3 days because we just weren't sure. This was a story that could ruin someone's life. Then our Publisher ordered us to get off the pot & print the story. We ran it on Page 2.
& the next day the Mayoral candidate called up crying. How could I DO this to her, she asked. I'd interviewed her, I'd been IN HER HOUSE! Her husband, also a lawyer, who was listening in on the phonecall, asked if they could've had a little advance warning about the story. I suggested that if they'd had any warning, they probably would've tried to stop the story from being printed.
He laughed & said I was probably right.
I apologized to his wife, who I thought was a good person, & said I was sorry for how things had gone, & that I hoped it would all work out in the end.
She lost the election & never spoke to me again. I'm not sure what happened with the meth charge.
When I was in the Air Force, I got used to defending my writing against people who didn't understand what I did -- but who outranked me, so what they wanted was what went. I got pretty good at it anyway, even convincing some that I was right.
But in the Real World, everybody outranked me. No amount of Good Work I did (& I think I did a LOT) ever made it any easier. No doors opened more easily just because I was good at my job. There was never any big payoff or reward. There were never any "better" jobs offered other than in-the-trenches reporter or small-town editor.
& I can't remember how many times people called at midnight or 4 a.m., spilled their guts to me for two hours, & then said "This is all off-the-record, you can't use any of this, I never called you" ... even AFTER I told them at the start of the phonecall that I'd be taking notes.... But I always tried to be A Good Guy....
When I was in the AF, my old buddy & fellow editor Phil Guerrero had a joke about the kind of long, involved stories I used to write: "Keep typing 'til it makes sense!" For years, that was my motto.
But I got to the point where no amount of explaining made any difference, where everything was just too complicated, & I could no longer even find the main reason I was writing some things. For much of the last four years of my "career," I'd go into work on Monday morning, down a pot of coffee, write the entire front page of the paper, & go home that night not remembering anything I'd written.
Journalism is a career for a young person with lots of time & lots of energy & no social life. It's the kiss of death for marriages & families. You wouldn't believe how many divorced, alcoholic, unhappy reporters I met over the years....
& when I got to the point where I couldn't remember the basics, couldn't keep the facts straight, was making stupid mistakes, couldn't make any sense out of anything I was writing, no matter how much I tried to explain -- I knew it was time to retire.
That was 11 years ago, & I don't miss much of it.
#668: Now listening to....
Nothing much new going on here....
The List:
Strawbs -- Will Ye Go?, Part of the Union, Lay Down, The River, Down by the Sea, Tell Me What You See in Me.
Boston -- Used to Bad News, Don't Be Afraid, It's Easy, Hitch a Ride, Something About You.
Rolling Stones -- Happy, Tumbling Dice.
Modern English -- I Melt With You, Someone's Calling.
Jethro Tull -- Skating Away on the Thin Ice of the New Day, Life's a Long Song, Living in the Past, A Christmas Song.
Pete Townshend -- Give Blood, Jools and Jim, My Baby Gives it Away, Misunderstood, Sheraton Gibson, Slit Skirts, Empty Glass.
Outkast -- Hey Ya.
Elvis -- Promised Land.
Steely Dan -- My Old School, Dirty Work.
Deep Purple -- Highway Star.
Camel -- Never Let Go, Unevensong.
I've given up on The Strawbs, for now. At their best they are VERY good, if you're into their British-folk/rock/prog approach (somewhere in the neighborhood of Fairport Convention, Renaissance, Illusion, Jethro Tull -- like that). But their very best work happens only occasionally -- the rest of the time they're very Average. They have enough great stuff in their Middle "Big Sound" Period to fill one solid CD. I'd suggest their best stuff, most worthy of tracking down, would include:
The Man Who Called Himself Jesus (live)/Where is This Dream of Your Youth? (live)/Down by the Sea/Hero and Heroine/Part of the Union/Lay Down/I'll Carry On Beside You/Keep the Devil Outside/Backside (Ciggy Barlust)/Ghosts/Grace Darling/New World/Ah Me, Ah My/Wherefore and Why.
In the latest batch above, "Will Ye Go?" sounds like the old folk-traditional/Byrds number "Wild Mountain Thyme," only rocked-up a little; it's not bad. "Part of the Union" (especially) & "Lay Down" are nice folk-poppy singalongs; "Union" has some funny lyrics. "The River" is another overwrought, melodramatic, metaphor-filled lost-love ballad. "Down by the Sea" is still pretty freaking brilliant, even with the rather awkward & melodramatic anti-climax near the end -- but check out the HUGE start & finish!
I'm sorry, I wish I could get more out of these guys; I'm sorry I'm so picky. They should be right up my street. Maybe if I'd heard more of their work 30 years earlier....
Coming Soon: More Great Lost Singles -- FOUND! Starring Randy Edelman, Johnathan King, Billy Lee Riley, & possibly even more....
The List:
Strawbs -- Will Ye Go?, Part of the Union, Lay Down, The River, Down by the Sea, Tell Me What You See in Me.
Boston -- Used to Bad News, Don't Be Afraid, It's Easy, Hitch a Ride, Something About You.
Rolling Stones -- Happy, Tumbling Dice.
Modern English -- I Melt With You, Someone's Calling.
Jethro Tull -- Skating Away on the Thin Ice of the New Day, Life's a Long Song, Living in the Past, A Christmas Song.
Pete Townshend -- Give Blood, Jools and Jim, My Baby Gives it Away, Misunderstood, Sheraton Gibson, Slit Skirts, Empty Glass.
Outkast -- Hey Ya.
Elvis -- Promised Land.
Steely Dan -- My Old School, Dirty Work.
Deep Purple -- Highway Star.
Camel -- Never Let Go, Unevensong.
I've given up on The Strawbs, for now. At their best they are VERY good, if you're into their British-folk/rock/prog approach (somewhere in the neighborhood of Fairport Convention, Renaissance, Illusion, Jethro Tull -- like that). But their very best work happens only occasionally -- the rest of the time they're very Average. They have enough great stuff in their Middle "Big Sound" Period to fill one solid CD. I'd suggest their best stuff, most worthy of tracking down, would include:
The Man Who Called Himself Jesus (live)/Where is This Dream of Your Youth? (live)/Down by the Sea/Hero and Heroine/Part of the Union/Lay Down/I'll Carry On Beside You/Keep the Devil Outside/Backside (Ciggy Barlust)/Ghosts/Grace Darling/New World/Ah Me, Ah My/Wherefore and Why.
In the latest batch above, "Will Ye Go?" sounds like the old folk-traditional/Byrds number "Wild Mountain Thyme," only rocked-up a little; it's not bad. "Part of the Union" (especially) & "Lay Down" are nice folk-poppy singalongs; "Union" has some funny lyrics. "The River" is another overwrought, melodramatic, metaphor-filled lost-love ballad. "Down by the Sea" is still pretty freaking brilliant, even with the rather awkward & melodramatic anti-climax near the end -- but check out the HUGE start & finish!
I'm sorry, I wish I could get more out of these guys; I'm sorry I'm so picky. They should be right up my street. Maybe if I'd heard more of their work 30 years earlier....
Coming Soon: More Great Lost Singles -- FOUND! Starring Randy Edelman, Johnathan King, Billy Lee Riley, & possibly even more....
Sunday, May 12, 2013
#667: The biggest missile base in the world
After three years in the Air Force spent coloring forms with yellow & purple markers at the Army and Air Force Hometown News Service in San Antonio, I begged to get out so I could get a real AF base-newspaper job -- & in June of 1986 I was sent to Francis E. Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming -- at that time the biggest missile base in the world.
I was thrilled to be at a base where there was actually Something Happening. But as with several of my AF assignments, I couldn't really Talk about what was going on. Though the base controlled 200 ICBMs spread out over a 12,600-square-mile area covering southeastern Wyoming, northeastern Colorado & western Nebraska, we could neither confirm nor deny the presence of nuclear weapons in any particular location.
But everybody assumed those weren't just chewing-gum-warhead missiles sitting out there under the rolling hills of the Great Plains.
It took me awhile to find my footing. But soon I was writing & shooting photos for base-newspaper stories about security police patrolling isolated missile sites in the dead of winter as the gusty winds blew -60 degree wind-chill temps at them. We on the base newspaper (usually two staffers, rarely three) tried our best to write "mission feature" stories showing how each job on the base contributed to supporting the mission -- but it wasn't easy. There was so much we weren't allowed to talk about....
I finally got the chance to interview & hang-out with a missile launch crew while they were on-duty -- but it took a couple years of work & begging to do it, & I was only allowed to proceed after a reporter from the OMAHA WORLD-HERALD newspaper beat me to it. I tried to do a John McPhee/NEW YORKER-style atmosphere-piece on the crew & their surroundings....
...& naturally, after all that work & all that begging, I couldn't take all that I'd learned & turn it into a story of a reasonable size for a base newspaper. I was always too ambitious for my own good, back then. The story never got printed -- it was too freaking LONG, there was too much neat atmosphere & too many great quotes I wanted to cram in.
Months went by ... & finally I was told it would be better if I just gave up. I still have my 35 pages of notes. Not the last time I cracked under pressure....
One story I was proud of was when I got to be on the site when the last of the support crews "switched-on" the tenth Peacekeeper/MX missile, to reach what the AF called "initial operational capability" at the end of 1986. That story DID get printed, & helped win me an award. & eventually 50 of the 10-warhead Peacekeepers were deployed across the Wyoming plains.
But usually we on the base newspaper didn't get quite so up-close & personal with The Mission. We wrote about stuff that grabbed our attention -- folks from the base doing good & interesting volunteer work in the local community, interesting personalities, big base events, retirements, etc. I started reviewing strange music, movies & books.
After LOTS of encouragement, I started writing sports stories -- about a couple guys who ran in marathons, one AF doctor who competed in stair-climbing competitions & briefly got into the GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS (that story also made the front page of the local daily paper), the hilarious comedy of Youth T-Ball, & even the base's Chess Club.
& I found that writing sports gave me a freedom I usually didn't have in the rest of the paper -- the rest of the time we had to play it pretty straight.
But all the time I was looking for "light" stuff, more humor, because working at the world's biggest missile base was a serious business.
I wrote comedy pieces on Air Force Medals You Don't Want To Win, Fictional Air Force Bases You Wouldn't Want To Be Assigned To, & the comedy possibilities of Air Force jargon.
I even snuck through a piece about whether some of the older homes in Base Housing were haunted: Some of the houses dated back to the late 1890's when the base was a U.S. Army cavalry post. But it was a touchy subject, because the base commander wanted it known in no uncertain terms that he'd tolerate NO GHOSTS on base....
I tried to take stuff lightly, use the paper as a sort of escape from everyday AF grinds & demands.
& I had a great role-model to learn from -- an Air Force Technical Sergeant named Gary Pomeroy, who'd been Strategic Air Command's Journalist of the Year for three years in a row. Gary could write stuff that would make me cry from laughing so hard. But he was tough, he'd been around. Brutally realistic, he thought my laughing fits were silly & juvenile -- but he was a great writing coach ... if you could survive his critiques.
When I wasn't working on the base paper, I was writing at home. I still had dreams of being Stephen King when I grew up. The first draft of "On Tour With the Little Green Men" (which I posted here awhile back) came out during my three years at FEW. A 40-page science-fiction/music piece called "The Landscape Player" (probably too long to post here, though I think it's my best, most vivid piece of fiction ever) also came out while in Wyoming. Neither of them ever got published anywhere.
The wife & I loved Wyoming, & for the first time in years we weren't homesick for Idaho -- even when the snowdrifts piled up over the front door of our mobile home. I made the mistake of telling people I'd stay at FEW permanently, since few AF folks seemed to want to visit Wyoming -- they thought it was as brutal & boring as, say, North Dakota or Montana. Or South Korea. Or the Aleutian Islands. & they were wrong.
But saying I'd volunteer to stay was probably the kiss of death. At the end of 1989, the news came that I was "The Number One non-volunteer" in the AF's public affairs career field to be sent overseas. & there was a job waiting for me in Ankara, Turkey.
So in December 1989, that's where we went. At least I got to take my wife & my 2-year-old son. We were actually kind of excited about going. But it turned out to be two of the worst years of our lives....
I was thrilled to be at a base where there was actually Something Happening. But as with several of my AF assignments, I couldn't really Talk about what was going on. Though the base controlled 200 ICBMs spread out over a 12,600-square-mile area covering southeastern Wyoming, northeastern Colorado & western Nebraska, we could neither confirm nor deny the presence of nuclear weapons in any particular location.
But everybody assumed those weren't just chewing-gum-warhead missiles sitting out there under the rolling hills of the Great Plains.
It took me awhile to find my footing. But soon I was writing & shooting photos for base-newspaper stories about security police patrolling isolated missile sites in the dead of winter as the gusty winds blew -60 degree wind-chill temps at them. We on the base newspaper (usually two staffers, rarely three) tried our best to write "mission feature" stories showing how each job on the base contributed to supporting the mission -- but it wasn't easy. There was so much we weren't allowed to talk about....
I finally got the chance to interview & hang-out with a missile launch crew while they were on-duty -- but it took a couple years of work & begging to do it, & I was only allowed to proceed after a reporter from the OMAHA WORLD-HERALD newspaper beat me to it. I tried to do a John McPhee/NEW YORKER-style atmosphere-piece on the crew & their surroundings....
...& naturally, after all that work & all that begging, I couldn't take all that I'd learned & turn it into a story of a reasonable size for a base newspaper. I was always too ambitious for my own good, back then. The story never got printed -- it was too freaking LONG, there was too much neat atmosphere & too many great quotes I wanted to cram in.
Months went by ... & finally I was told it would be better if I just gave up. I still have my 35 pages of notes. Not the last time I cracked under pressure....
One story I was proud of was when I got to be on the site when the last of the support crews "switched-on" the tenth Peacekeeper/MX missile, to reach what the AF called "initial operational capability" at the end of 1986. That story DID get printed, & helped win me an award. & eventually 50 of the 10-warhead Peacekeepers were deployed across the Wyoming plains.
But usually we on the base newspaper didn't get quite so up-close & personal with The Mission. We wrote about stuff that grabbed our attention -- folks from the base doing good & interesting volunteer work in the local community, interesting personalities, big base events, retirements, etc. I started reviewing strange music, movies & books.
After LOTS of encouragement, I started writing sports stories -- about a couple guys who ran in marathons, one AF doctor who competed in stair-climbing competitions & briefly got into the GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS (that story also made the front page of the local daily paper), the hilarious comedy of Youth T-Ball, & even the base's Chess Club.
& I found that writing sports gave me a freedom I usually didn't have in the rest of the paper -- the rest of the time we had to play it pretty straight.
But all the time I was looking for "light" stuff, more humor, because working at the world's biggest missile base was a serious business.
I wrote comedy pieces on Air Force Medals You Don't Want To Win, Fictional Air Force Bases You Wouldn't Want To Be Assigned To, & the comedy possibilities of Air Force jargon.
I even snuck through a piece about whether some of the older homes in Base Housing were haunted: Some of the houses dated back to the late 1890's when the base was a U.S. Army cavalry post. But it was a touchy subject, because the base commander wanted it known in no uncertain terms that he'd tolerate NO GHOSTS on base....
I tried to take stuff lightly, use the paper as a sort of escape from everyday AF grinds & demands.
& I had a great role-model to learn from -- an Air Force Technical Sergeant named Gary Pomeroy, who'd been Strategic Air Command's Journalist of the Year for three years in a row. Gary could write stuff that would make me cry from laughing so hard. But he was tough, he'd been around. Brutally realistic, he thought my laughing fits were silly & juvenile -- but he was a great writing coach ... if you could survive his critiques.
When I wasn't working on the base paper, I was writing at home. I still had dreams of being Stephen King when I grew up. The first draft of "On Tour With the Little Green Men" (which I posted here awhile back) came out during my three years at FEW. A 40-page science-fiction/music piece called "The Landscape Player" (probably too long to post here, though I think it's my best, most vivid piece of fiction ever) also came out while in Wyoming. Neither of them ever got published anywhere.
The wife & I loved Wyoming, & for the first time in years we weren't homesick for Idaho -- even when the snowdrifts piled up over the front door of our mobile home. I made the mistake of telling people I'd stay at FEW permanently, since few AF folks seemed to want to visit Wyoming -- they thought it was as brutal & boring as, say, North Dakota or Montana. Or South Korea. Or the Aleutian Islands. & they were wrong.
But saying I'd volunteer to stay was probably the kiss of death. At the end of 1989, the news came that I was "The Number One non-volunteer" in the AF's public affairs career field to be sent overseas. & there was a job waiting for me in Ankara, Turkey.
So in December 1989, that's where we went. At least I got to take my wife & my 2-year-old son. We were actually kind of excited about going. But it turned out to be two of the worst years of our lives....
Saturday, May 11, 2013
#665: Wyoming will be your new home....
After taking 10 years of the Air Force's BS as a public affairs specialist & base-newspaper guy, I jumped at the chance to Get Out & put-up with some Real World BS -- & took a job as managing editor of possibly the world's smallest daily newspaper: The Northern Wyoming Daily News in Worland.
I thought I could handle it -- I could work hard, I could handle stress, & I was charming & modest enough to win over anybody.
But I didn't really know what stress was. In Wyoming, I found out.
There was an immediate culture shock. In September 1992 we moved from the San Francisco Bay area (home of the world's smallest Air Force base) to the geographical Middle Of Nowhere -- a charming, quiet little farm town surrounded by rolling hills & mountains, about two hours southeast of Yellowstone National Park. But there were no natural wonders in Worland -- just miles of empty countryside, cattle farms & sugar-beet fields & hop fields & oil derricks. & the area's "local time" was somewhere around 1956.
We found a comfy old mid-'50s house with plenty of space for me, the wife & the two kids, with a huge basement "music room," & a heater good enough to keep us warm even when it was -40 outside. & it was only two blocks from the school.
I dived into editing the paper, which proved to be a bigger challenge than I thought. Turned out the editor's job was to layout more than half the paper, slap in stories off the Associated Press wire, proofread all the local news, & write when/IF there was time. As a result, I didn't write much. So I wasn't very happy.
Plus I kept running into longtime local residents who wondered -- & who asked very directly -- if The New Kid was going to be able to "fix" the paper: cut down on the misspellings & get the facts right & stop treating local law-enforcement with kid gloves & tell people what's REALLY going on....
That was the first part of my education. My REAL education didn't start until two years later, when I gave up editing & volunteered to write full-time. Then I was MUCH happier. & even busier & more stressed-out.
I learned lots of things. I learned that the Air Force had no IDEA what stress & overwork was. I learned that local residents had a WAY better idea of what national political policies were going do to them than I did -- because they lived with the impacts on their bottom-line every single day. When local farmers & ranchers were alarmed about NAFTA & claimed that it was going to export millions of U.S. jobs overseas & ruin them financially, I laughed at first. But they were absolutely right.
After that I kept my head down & wrote my ass off. I hardly ever talked politics with folks -- because even if I disagreed with them politically (or thought I did), most of my neighbors were really great people, absolutely salt of the earth: hard-working, dedicated, devoted to their families & their community. Just because I couldn't see their small-town Republican outlooks reflected in national Republican policies didn't mean we had to argue.
Besides, I didn't have TIME for that. Even in a town as small as Worland (4,500 people), there was always something going on -- car wrecks & house fires, & school board meetings & city council meetings & county commissioners' sessions. High school graduations, sports events, community events to publicize & then photograph.
In my "down" time I found lots of funny stuff to write about -- the computer glitch that delivered three-dozen Thanksgiving turkeys to a local woman's door (she donated them to the local senior center); the old couple who replaced their dying front lawn with multi-colored old carpets after giving up trying to grow grass (this caused car wrecks in front of their house); the town council that called a pot-bellied pig to a meeting in a debate about the town's livestock ordinance; how a packet of Holly Sugar got a five-second close-up in an episode of THE X-FILES (there was a Holly Sugar plant in town, & the investigation into how their product got on the show was worthy of an episode all by itself).
There were also plusses I never saw coming. Local politics could be a grind, but I got to interview the Governor, U.S. Senators & Representatives -- names that made the national news regularly. & most of 'em were great people, way easier to talk with than I ever expected. The biggest shock of all came when I got a standing ovation at the Worland GOP's Lincoln Day Dinner my last year there -- the idea that all these staunch local Republicans could give me (then a hard-core Democrat, I thought) a standing-O just put me on the floor. To me it said I'd kept my balance & done a solid job & not disappointed my readers.
I also got my musical horizons expanded in Wyoming: I became a bit of a country music fan, grabbing great albums by Mary-Chapin Carpenter, Pam Tillis, Carlene Carter, Wynonna, Travis Tritt, Dwight Yoakam, & more. Wyoming was also where I first heard Rush's great "Time Stand Still." & where I FINALLY decided that maybe Led Zeppelin had some talent, after repeated playings of "The Battle of Evermore" & "When the Levee Breaks" & *GASP* "Stairway to Heaven"....
It wasn't all fun&games. People froze to death during the bitter-cold winters. People got hit by trains. One beloved local pastor died tragically during a hunting trip. One guy shot a friend by accident during another hunting trip. One local highschool sports star raped & murdered a woman & then dumped her body in the river. One woman & her hideous parents ended up in court in an incest case that made 60 MINUTES. One local guy walked into a bar, shot three people execution-style, then took the $126 in the cash register. It was never clear if the money was to pay for his child-support or to fix the engine in his truck.
After the last of these -- & the death-sentence trial that ate-up my every waking moment for a month -- my Publisher told me that he couldn't afford to give me any vacation time, & that he couldn't afford to hire anyone else to help me report the news.
So, after six years in Wyoming, I started looking for a new job. My wife & kids had been all over the state, to Yellowstone, & up into Montana -- but I never got there, because I was almost always working.
After a couple months of sending out resumes, I got a phonecall from a small weekly newspaper on the Washington coast. The area was beautiful, & the paper looked like it could use some help -- I'd be writing full-time again. So I gave my Publisher 3 DAYS NOTICE, & left for Washington at the very end of May 1998.
My Publisher warned me that as weird & stressful as the Daily News had been, the new paper I was heading to might be even weirder, even more stressful -- with even fewer people to do the work. I told him I couldn't see how that was POSSIBLE.
But he was absolutely right....
I thought I could handle it -- I could work hard, I could handle stress, & I was charming & modest enough to win over anybody.
But I didn't really know what stress was. In Wyoming, I found out.
There was an immediate culture shock. In September 1992 we moved from the San Francisco Bay area (home of the world's smallest Air Force base) to the geographical Middle Of Nowhere -- a charming, quiet little farm town surrounded by rolling hills & mountains, about two hours southeast of Yellowstone National Park. But there were no natural wonders in Worland -- just miles of empty countryside, cattle farms & sugar-beet fields & hop fields & oil derricks. & the area's "local time" was somewhere around 1956.
We found a comfy old mid-'50s house with plenty of space for me, the wife & the two kids, with a huge basement "music room," & a heater good enough to keep us warm even when it was -40 outside. & it was only two blocks from the school.
I dived into editing the paper, which proved to be a bigger challenge than I thought. Turned out the editor's job was to layout more than half the paper, slap in stories off the Associated Press wire, proofread all the local news, & write when/IF there was time. As a result, I didn't write much. So I wasn't very happy.
Plus I kept running into longtime local residents who wondered -- & who asked very directly -- if The New Kid was going to be able to "fix" the paper: cut down on the misspellings & get the facts right & stop treating local law-enforcement with kid gloves & tell people what's REALLY going on....
That was the first part of my education. My REAL education didn't start until two years later, when I gave up editing & volunteered to write full-time. Then I was MUCH happier. & even busier & more stressed-out.
I learned lots of things. I learned that the Air Force had no IDEA what stress & overwork was. I learned that local residents had a WAY better idea of what national political policies were going do to them than I did -- because they lived with the impacts on their bottom-line every single day. When local farmers & ranchers were alarmed about NAFTA & claimed that it was going to export millions of U.S. jobs overseas & ruin them financially, I laughed at first. But they were absolutely right.
After that I kept my head down & wrote my ass off. I hardly ever talked politics with folks -- because even if I disagreed with them politically (or thought I did), most of my neighbors were really great people, absolutely salt of the earth: hard-working, dedicated, devoted to their families & their community. Just because I couldn't see their small-town Republican outlooks reflected in national Republican policies didn't mean we had to argue.
Besides, I didn't have TIME for that. Even in a town as small as Worland (4,500 people), there was always something going on -- car wrecks & house fires, & school board meetings & city council meetings & county commissioners' sessions. High school graduations, sports events, community events to publicize & then photograph.
In my "down" time I found lots of funny stuff to write about -- the computer glitch that delivered three-dozen Thanksgiving turkeys to a local woman's door (she donated them to the local senior center); the old couple who replaced their dying front lawn with multi-colored old carpets after giving up trying to grow grass (this caused car wrecks in front of their house); the town council that called a pot-bellied pig to a meeting in a debate about the town's livestock ordinance; how a packet of Holly Sugar got a five-second close-up in an episode of THE X-FILES (there was a Holly Sugar plant in town, & the investigation into how their product got on the show was worthy of an episode all by itself).
There were also plusses I never saw coming. Local politics could be a grind, but I got to interview the Governor, U.S. Senators & Representatives -- names that made the national news regularly. & most of 'em were great people, way easier to talk with than I ever expected. The biggest shock of all came when I got a standing ovation at the Worland GOP's Lincoln Day Dinner my last year there -- the idea that all these staunch local Republicans could give me (then a hard-core Democrat, I thought) a standing-O just put me on the floor. To me it said I'd kept my balance & done a solid job & not disappointed my readers.
I also got my musical horizons expanded in Wyoming: I became a bit of a country music fan, grabbing great albums by Mary-Chapin Carpenter, Pam Tillis, Carlene Carter, Wynonna, Travis Tritt, Dwight Yoakam, & more. Wyoming was also where I first heard Rush's great "Time Stand Still." & where I FINALLY decided that maybe Led Zeppelin had some talent, after repeated playings of "The Battle of Evermore" & "When the Levee Breaks" & *GASP* "Stairway to Heaven"....
It wasn't all fun&games. People froze to death during the bitter-cold winters. People got hit by trains. One beloved local pastor died tragically during a hunting trip. One guy shot a friend by accident during another hunting trip. One local highschool sports star raped & murdered a woman & then dumped her body in the river. One woman & her hideous parents ended up in court in an incest case that made 60 MINUTES. One local guy walked into a bar, shot three people execution-style, then took the $126 in the cash register. It was never clear if the money was to pay for his child-support or to fix the engine in his truck.
After the last of these -- & the death-sentence trial that ate-up my every waking moment for a month -- my Publisher told me that he couldn't afford to give me any vacation time, & that he couldn't afford to hire anyone else to help me report the news.
So, after six years in Wyoming, I started looking for a new job. My wife & kids had been all over the state, to Yellowstone, & up into Montana -- but I never got there, because I was almost always working.
After a couple months of sending out resumes, I got a phonecall from a small weekly newspaper on the Washington coast. The area was beautiful, & the paper looked like it could use some help -- I'd be writing full-time again. So I gave my Publisher 3 DAYS NOTICE, & left for Washington at the very end of May 1998.
My Publisher warned me that as weird & stressful as the Daily News had been, the new paper I was heading to might be even weirder, even more stressful -- with even fewer people to do the work. I told him I couldn't see how that was POSSIBLE.
But he was absolutely right....
Friday, May 10, 2013
#664: Currently listening to....
Five Man Electrical Band -- Absolutely Right, Money-Back Guarantee, We Play Rock and Roll.
Rascals -- See, Carry Me Back.
Mary-Chapin Carpenter -- Passionate Kisses.
Rush -- Time Stand Still, Force 10.
Albert Hammond -- Free Electric Band.
Chicago -- Questions 67 & 68.
Tracey Ullman -- The B-Side.
Strawbs -- Shine On Silver Sun, Down by the Sea, Part of the Union, Lay Down, We'll Meet Again Sometime, Martin Luther King's Dream (live), Why and Wherefore, Floating in the Wind, Absent Friend.
...Am moving into another musical-boredom phase -- have a big bag of half-unheard CD's I've been taking to work with me, stuff for further investigation, & I'm getting bored with THAT, too. But I still stumble over some interesting things now&then....
Along with their two Top 20 hits, the Five Man Electrical Band's BEST OF also includes a handful of minor hits & some halfway decent off-the-wall stuff -- "Money-Back Guarantee" is silly & catchy & has some good choruses that stick in your head. & they try like hell to sell it. It was a minor hit. "We Play Rock and Roll" is all new to me -- a funny piece recalling a show the band played where there was allegedly no one in the audience under age 45, & the crowd kept calling for polkas & foxtrots.... 5MEB also try hard on this one -- a few more extra musical touches & it coulda been a hit....
The version of "Passionate Kisses" included on MCC's ESSENTIAL seems to punch-up her vocal & mute the instrumental accompaniment -- & this is not a good thing, because in this version, MCC doesn't sound as excited as her band & backup singers. It's supposed to be a ROCKER....
ESSENTIAL isn't a bad cross-section -- it DOES include the excellent "The Long Way Home," but I miss "Downtown Train," "A Lot Like Me," "This Shirt," "Middle Ground," "You Win Again," "Come On, Come On"....
For me, "Time Stand Still" is enough all by itself to get Rush into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. & "Force Ten" is pretty freakin' great, too....
Continuing to explore the Strawbs' HALCYON DAYS best-of (British version), & continue to be mildly disappointed. The end-of-the-world "Down by the Sea" is easily the best thing here, along with the over-the-top "Hero and Heroine" -- but EVERY great Strawbs song is pretty melodramatic.
But then you get to "Absent Friend," which has GOT to be a JOKE -- it's SO melodramatic, so overdone, even keeping in mind its low-key 3 a.m. jazzy-bluesy lounge-lizard setting. Could've almost fit-in on mid-'70s adult-contemporary radio. But I couldn't listen to it without laughing, & most of their stuff is meant to be Taken Seriously. Maybe by this point they were in on the joke?
Example: "Martin Luther King's Dream" is pleasant enough -- though certainly not stunning, & has a grand enough subject -- but they didn't include the great, angry live "Where is This Dream of Your Youth?" or the noisy live "Man Who Called Himself Jesus"? Why would they ignore their best work? Were they wary of giving Rick Wakeman too much space? Who compiled this?
*AHEM* Sorry. Meanwhile, "Part of the Union" is an excellent, hilarious pro-union singalong that could've been a hit in the U.S. "Why and Wherefore" is an excellent fiery rocker that -- according to the liner notes -- is made up of two British B-sides glued back-together. "Lay Down" is an above-average singalong.
Have also started noticing how often leader/main songwriter Dave Cousins' subject-matter mostly comes down to the inhumanity of Man & shattered love affairs as contrasted against the gorgeous pastoralness of Nature. The good stuff is Really Good -- but will it be enough to make me buy the American best-of ... or listen to any more of their original albums...?
More soon....
Rascals -- See, Carry Me Back.
Mary-Chapin Carpenter -- Passionate Kisses.
Rush -- Time Stand Still, Force 10.
Albert Hammond -- Free Electric Band.
Chicago -- Questions 67 & 68.
Tracey Ullman -- The B-Side.
Strawbs -- Shine On Silver Sun, Down by the Sea, Part of the Union, Lay Down, We'll Meet Again Sometime, Martin Luther King's Dream (live), Why and Wherefore, Floating in the Wind, Absent Friend.
...Am moving into another musical-boredom phase -- have a big bag of half-unheard CD's I've been taking to work with me, stuff for further investigation, & I'm getting bored with THAT, too. But I still stumble over some interesting things now&then....
Along with their two Top 20 hits, the Five Man Electrical Band's BEST OF also includes a handful of minor hits & some halfway decent off-the-wall stuff -- "Money-Back Guarantee" is silly & catchy & has some good choruses that stick in your head. & they try like hell to sell it. It was a minor hit. "We Play Rock and Roll" is all new to me -- a funny piece recalling a show the band played where there was allegedly no one in the audience under age 45, & the crowd kept calling for polkas & foxtrots.... 5MEB also try hard on this one -- a few more extra musical touches & it coulda been a hit....
The version of "Passionate Kisses" included on MCC's ESSENTIAL seems to punch-up her vocal & mute the instrumental accompaniment -- & this is not a good thing, because in this version, MCC doesn't sound as excited as her band & backup singers. It's supposed to be a ROCKER....
ESSENTIAL isn't a bad cross-section -- it DOES include the excellent "The Long Way Home," but I miss "Downtown Train," "A Lot Like Me," "This Shirt," "Middle Ground," "You Win Again," "Come On, Come On"....
For me, "Time Stand Still" is enough all by itself to get Rush into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. & "Force Ten" is pretty freakin' great, too....
Continuing to explore the Strawbs' HALCYON DAYS best-of (British version), & continue to be mildly disappointed. The end-of-the-world "Down by the Sea" is easily the best thing here, along with the over-the-top "Hero and Heroine" -- but EVERY great Strawbs song is pretty melodramatic.
But then you get to "Absent Friend," which has GOT to be a JOKE -- it's SO melodramatic, so overdone, even keeping in mind its low-key 3 a.m. jazzy-bluesy lounge-lizard setting. Could've almost fit-in on mid-'70s adult-contemporary radio. But I couldn't listen to it without laughing, & most of their stuff is meant to be Taken Seriously. Maybe by this point they were in on the joke?
Example: "Martin Luther King's Dream" is pleasant enough -- though certainly not stunning, & has a grand enough subject -- but they didn't include the great, angry live "Where is This Dream of Your Youth?" or the noisy live "Man Who Called Himself Jesus"? Why would they ignore their best work? Were they wary of giving Rick Wakeman too much space? Who compiled this?
*AHEM* Sorry. Meanwhile, "Part of the Union" is an excellent, hilarious pro-union singalong that could've been a hit in the U.S. "Why and Wherefore" is an excellent fiery rocker that -- according to the liner notes -- is made up of two British B-sides glued back-together. "Lay Down" is an above-average singalong.
Have also started noticing how often leader/main songwriter Dave Cousins' subject-matter mostly comes down to the inhumanity of Man & shattered love affairs as contrasted against the gorgeous pastoralness of Nature. The good stuff is Really Good -- but will it be enough to make me buy the American best-of ... or listen to any more of their original albums...?
More soon....
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
#663: Good days
Well, the heat & sun didn't stay around here & I don't care. We needed a break. Today it's overcast & in the 50s & my feet are cold & I don't even mind much. Plus I'm a little sick -- something I ate didn't like me, so I'm mostly sprawled out on the bed with a stack of books I've put off reading for too long. Some of them are even music-related.....
* Marc Fisher's SOMETHING IN THE AIR is an at-times beautifully written history of American radio -- & the best parts recap some of the pioneers in the field -- people like Jean Shepherd (the guy who wrote the movie A CHRISTMAS STORY, among other things) telling long, winding late-night stories over the air in Cincinnati & New York ... Long John Nebel, who carried on the late-night-weirdness tradition at WBAI in New York ... Tom Donahue, who invented "underground" free-form FM radio in the San Francisco Bay area in the mid-'60s ... & others who messed-with the AM/Top 40/DJ format & in some cases are STILL doing it -- though nowhere near where I live....
It's not all nostalgia: Howard Stern, Tom Leykis, Don Imus, Rush Limbaugh, & other current stars are also profiled here. The portraits & interviews are beautifully handled -- Fisher has a great eye for detail. Clearly he loves the format, the history, & the people who made it happen. This book's available cheap -- if you're a fan of radio or Top 40, you need to track it down.
* Ben Fong-Torres's AND THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING is an affectionate history of Top 40 radio disc jockeys -- people like Wolfman Jack & Dick Clark & Murray the K & Cousin Brucie Morrow & dozens more. & it touches on the changes that have hit radio over the last 35 years, & why it's now a boring ghost of its former self. This will take me awhile longer to digest, but it looks worth it. The period photos are cool, & the book closes with a long list of chart-toppers from THE GAVIN REPORT that indicates the most-played songs at Top 40 radio stations across the country over the years weren't always the biggest sellers. Could've used more info on the Wolfman, but interesting & worth a look....
* Paul Stump's UNKNOWN PLEASURES is an amusingly cranky history of the British glam-rockers Roxy Music, & I'm getting more out of it in my second read-through. Stump is solid on the band's formation & the recording of their first album -- & the marketing that went on around it. I think he's a little harsh on their late-'70s/early-'80s comeback, but to compensate there are long looks at the solo careers of leader Bryan Ferry, Brian Eno, & guitarist Phil Manzanera....
* Hunter S. Thompson's THE PROUD HIGHWAY is his first collection of letters, from the late 1950s to the mid-'60s, & I've just gotten into it. If it's half as good as his later letters collection FEAR AND LOATHING IN AMERICA (reviewed below under "Scrambling for $$$"), I'm sure it'll be worth the trip. I just hope it's only half as EXHAUSTING....
* John McPhee's UNCOMMON CARRIERS is about the various ways freight gets moved around the U.S., & about the people who move it. A section on long-distance truckers opens the book, & as always McPhee has found some great characters to help tell the story. As good an eye for detail & as funny as any of McPhee's recent books.
* Janet Malcolm's THE SILENT WOMAN is about poet Sylvia Plath, her husband British Poet Laureate Ted Hughes, & how Hughes's family handled Plath's tragic, angry legacy. It's one of my favorite non-fiction books ever.
* Malcolm's THE JOURNALIST AND THE MURDERER is about writer Joe McGinness, & how he was sued for libel by convicted murderer Jeffrey MacDonald after profiling him in the bestselling book FATAL VISION. MacDonald thought McGinness was his FRIEND, that McG believed MacDonald's story about how the murder of his family happened -- & sued McG because he felt betrayed. This is an amazing book that shows all the ways a journalistic "relationship" can go wrong. Having been sued herself by the subject of a profile she wrote, Malcolm knows how ugly this stuff can get, & she writes unflinchingly about it.... Worth a look for anybody who's ever considered a career as a reporter.
Just a little light reading....
* Marc Fisher's SOMETHING IN THE AIR is an at-times beautifully written history of American radio -- & the best parts recap some of the pioneers in the field -- people like Jean Shepherd (the guy who wrote the movie A CHRISTMAS STORY, among other things) telling long, winding late-night stories over the air in Cincinnati & New York ... Long John Nebel, who carried on the late-night-weirdness tradition at WBAI in New York ... Tom Donahue, who invented "underground" free-form FM radio in the San Francisco Bay area in the mid-'60s ... & others who messed-with the AM/Top 40/DJ format & in some cases are STILL doing it -- though nowhere near where I live....
It's not all nostalgia: Howard Stern, Tom Leykis, Don Imus, Rush Limbaugh, & other current stars are also profiled here. The portraits & interviews are beautifully handled -- Fisher has a great eye for detail. Clearly he loves the format, the history, & the people who made it happen. This book's available cheap -- if you're a fan of radio or Top 40, you need to track it down.
* Ben Fong-Torres's AND THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING is an affectionate history of Top 40 radio disc jockeys -- people like Wolfman Jack & Dick Clark & Murray the K & Cousin Brucie Morrow & dozens more. & it touches on the changes that have hit radio over the last 35 years, & why it's now a boring ghost of its former self. This will take me awhile longer to digest, but it looks worth it. The period photos are cool, & the book closes with a long list of chart-toppers from THE GAVIN REPORT that indicates the most-played songs at Top 40 radio stations across the country over the years weren't always the biggest sellers. Could've used more info on the Wolfman, but interesting & worth a look....
* Paul Stump's UNKNOWN PLEASURES is an amusingly cranky history of the British glam-rockers Roxy Music, & I'm getting more out of it in my second read-through. Stump is solid on the band's formation & the recording of their first album -- & the marketing that went on around it. I think he's a little harsh on their late-'70s/early-'80s comeback, but to compensate there are long looks at the solo careers of leader Bryan Ferry, Brian Eno, & guitarist Phil Manzanera....
* Hunter S. Thompson's THE PROUD HIGHWAY is his first collection of letters, from the late 1950s to the mid-'60s, & I've just gotten into it. If it's half as good as his later letters collection FEAR AND LOATHING IN AMERICA (reviewed below under "Scrambling for $$$"), I'm sure it'll be worth the trip. I just hope it's only half as EXHAUSTING....
* John McPhee's UNCOMMON CARRIERS is about the various ways freight gets moved around the U.S., & about the people who move it. A section on long-distance truckers opens the book, & as always McPhee has found some great characters to help tell the story. As good an eye for detail & as funny as any of McPhee's recent books.
* Janet Malcolm's THE SILENT WOMAN is about poet Sylvia Plath, her husband British Poet Laureate Ted Hughes, & how Hughes's family handled Plath's tragic, angry legacy. It's one of my favorite non-fiction books ever.
* Malcolm's THE JOURNALIST AND THE MURDERER is about writer Joe McGinness, & how he was sued for libel by convicted murderer Jeffrey MacDonald after profiling him in the bestselling book FATAL VISION. MacDonald thought McGinness was his FRIEND, that McG believed MacDonald's story about how the murder of his family happened -- & sued McG because he felt betrayed. This is an amazing book that shows all the ways a journalistic "relationship" can go wrong. Having been sued herself by the subject of a profile she wrote, Malcolm knows how ugly this stuff can get, & she writes unflinchingly about it.... Worth a look for anybody who's ever considered a career as a reporter.
Just a little light reading....
Monday, May 6, 2013
#662: Living in the past
Has there ever been a better title for a blog post here? Can't think of one. I almost called THE WHOLE BLOG "Living in the past." Might change the name yet....
Suddenly it's in the mid-80s & gorgeous in Western Washington. (While the Midwest gets buried in snow.) Not complaining -- this is what we were longing for back in February. What's gonna suck is if it cools back down into the 50s & 60s & starts raining again. That's what it did last year. Last year it rained through the 4th of July....
The playlist:
Kirsty MacColl -- Free World.
Rascals -- See.
Strawbs -- The Hangman and the Papist, Benedictus, Golden Salamander, Tokyo Rosie, Hero and Heroine, Backside (Ciggy Barlust), Out in the Cold, Round and Round, Oh How She Changed, The Battle, Grace Darling, Blue Angel, Here it Comes, The Shepherd's Song, We'll Meet Again Sometime.
Kinks -- Victoria, Days, Apeman, Dead-End Street, 'Til the End of the Day, Dedicated Follower of Fashion, Sunny Afternoon, Better Things, Come Dancing, I Need You, Where Have All the Good Times Gone?, A Well Respected Man, Shangri-La.
Stylistics -- You are Everything, Betcha By Golly Wow, People Make the World Go Round, You Make Me Feel Brand New, Rockin' Roll Baby.
Spinners -- I'll Be Around, I'm Coming Home, Rubberband Man.
Nick Drake -- Cello Song, Hazey Jane I, Things Behind the Sun, From the Morning, One of These Things First, Northern Sky, Which Will, Hazey Jane II, Pink Moon.
Sandy Denny -- The Quiet Joys of Brotherhood, Listen Listen.
Rush -- Time Stand Still, Force Ten, Marathon.
Yes -- South Side of the Sky, Tempus Fugit, Leave It, It Can Happen.
Five Man Electrical Band -- Absolutely Right, Signs, Julianna.
Weather Report -- Badia/Boogie Woogie Waltz medley (live).
Jethro Tull -- A Christmas Song, Teacher, Life's a Long Song, Skating Away on the Thin Ice of the New Day, The Whistler, Dun Ringill, Living in the Past.
NOTES: Again I urge you to track down Kirsty MacColl's "Free World" -- it's worth it all for the great driving guitars & the angry lyrics. & then there's her VOICE....
Ditto the Rascals' great "See," which has some hilarious psychedelic poetry & excellent late-'60s heavy-organ sounds. These guys should've done more stuff like this.
The Strawbs -- hmmm. I SHOULD love these guys, because they're right up my folk/rock/progressive alley. & at times I DO love them -- the apocalyptic "Down by the Sea," the angry "Where is This Dream of Your Youth?," the WAY-over-the-top "Hero and Heroine," etc. But a lot of the time they're just kind of average. Their lovesongs are kinda syrupy & smarmy. & leader/main songwriter Dave Cousins' whiny voice can wear on you.
Their best-of's are kinda confused: The American HALCYON DAYS has a dozen different songs from the British version, & it's in chronological order -- the British version is all over the place, & the song choices don't seem as strong. The 2-record CLASSIC STRAWBS has one GREAT side -- but the rest is kind of spotty. & of the original albums, JUST A COLLECTION OF ANTIQUES AND CURIOS is a bore except for "Dream of Your Youth." GRAVE NEW WORLD has two listenable tracks (including the shockingly bitter "New World"), & the rest is pretty awful. I haven't been brave enough to go much farther, although (judging by the tracks recycled on the best-of's) GHOSTS, BURSTING AT THE SEAMS and HERO AND HEROINE all seem pretty strong.
In the above batch, "Hangman and the Papist" is highlighted by Rick Wakeman doodling all over the opening. The story is a bit overly dramatic, but Cousins is often best when pushed to the emotional edge. "Benedictus" is a morning prayer. "Golden Salamander" is silly. "Tokyo Rosie" is more relaxed, the guys letting their hair down a bit -- which they should've done more often. "Hero and Heroine" is practically the definition of ELP-like bombastic, lots of pushy keyboards & hysteria -- & Cousins correctly guessed that this "big sound" is what got them an audience in the U.S.
"Backside" is a sort-of David Bowie/Spiders From Mars satire, funny on first listening, above-average after that. "Out in the Cold" is a downbeat lost-love piece, a bit smarmy. "Round and Round" returns to the big, dramatic sound -- & has some disturbing lyrics at the end. "Oh How She Changed" is early stuff, but features the nice contrasting voice of Tony Hooper. "The Battle" is more tortured imagery as in "Hangman and the Papist."
Nick Drake accompanist Robert Kirby's guys'-church-choir is the best thing about the wedding march "Grace Darling," which overall is pretty pleasant. "Here it Comes" is a laughably obvious attempt at a hit -- which didn't work, & I couldn't get through it. Also couldn't get through the overwrought 9-minute "Blue Angel." I'll have more on these guys as I finish their British HALCYON DAYS best-of....
The Kinks -- ahhh, what a relief. I used to think the live "Victoria" beat the studio original to death -- I was wrong. It's a hoot to hear Brother Dave whoop it up in the background, & those one-word choruses are great. "Days" is very pleasant, though I think the huge hit version of this song is still waiting to happen. Ray's lyrics are sweet & moving, & very revealing -- & the guys' version is at least better than Kirsty MacColl's. But I still think this forgotten classic could be rescued by someone....
All those other Kinks Klassiks Up There still sound great, especially "Apeman" & "Dead-End Street" & "Sunny Afternoon" & "Shangri-La" -- an amazing song which sums-up most of Ray's Class Issues in 5 quick minutes. "Dedicated Follower" & "Well Respected Man" are both pretty hilarious. (Are these from that album about "manners and things" that Ray was once going to write?)
...& "I Need You" is the Silliest Heavy Song I've heard since Spooky Tooth's "Evil Woman." Those lyrics are really INTENSE, Ray. We MEAN it, man....
The Stylistics were so sweet they could rot your teeth right out. "You are Everything" is still glorious, but "Betcha By Golly Wow" is so sweet it's almost embarrassing -- no wonder Radio won't play it anymore. "People Make the World Go Round" even sounded pretty good, & I hadn't heard it in years. It's no Marvin Gaye '70s-social-commentary-insight piece when it comes to the lyrics, though....
Shouldn't have to push the Spinners on you. They still sound great -- & they shared a producer with the Stylistics, the great Thom Bell. Lot going on in "I'll Be Around." Linda Creed wrote some great lyrics for both groups. & "Rubberband Man" is a comedy classic that deserved to go to #1.
Nick Drake depressing? Well, only the over-produced stuff. There is also a kind of joy-in-spite-of-it-all that bubbles up in his music, in "Northern Sky" & "Fly" & "One of These Things First" & "At the Chime of a City Clock" & "Hazey Jane II," & even on "From the Morning," the gorgeous last song on his last album, PINK MOON. If his WAY TO BLUE best-of had "Fly" & "At the Chime of a City Clock" on it, it really would be Essential....
It's a short jump from Nick Drake to Sandy Denny. She's well worth hearing solo if only for the stark, dramatic, almost-acapella "The Quiet Joys of Brotherhood" & the incandescent, glorious "Listen, Listen." She did have an amazing voice....
Don't know how I missed Yes's "It Can Happen" -- knew the choruses, but it's like I missed the whole rest of the song, or thought it was something off of DRAMA ("Tempus Fugit" still sounds pretty great, too). Though "Owner of a Lonely Heart" died for me a long time ago, the other stuff from that period still holds up pretty well -- "Leave It"'s still pretty-much a knockout for me. Too bad "Changes" from 90125 isn't included on their DEFINITIVE COLLECTION -- it's also pretty punchy, still.
I also urge you to check-out Weather Report's live "Boogie Woogie Waltz" -- which I'm starting to think may not quite be the 4-star raver I previously blathered about, but turn it up LOUD & it will Do The Job on you anyway.... For me, the only place the WeatherMen woke up was when they were performing live....
Ah, the Tulls. Talk about a band that needs a GOOD best-of. All the current best-of's frustrate me. & the loud, ugly, noisy shit is inescapable. However, "Christmas Song," "Teacher," "Skating Away," "The Whistler" & etc. all still sound great. But why isn't "Baker Street Muse" on their best-of box?
Suggestions for further reviews can be submitted below....
Suddenly it's in the mid-80s & gorgeous in Western Washington. (While the Midwest gets buried in snow.) Not complaining -- this is what we were longing for back in February. What's gonna suck is if it cools back down into the 50s & 60s & starts raining again. That's what it did last year. Last year it rained through the 4th of July....
The playlist:
Kirsty MacColl -- Free World.
Rascals -- See.
Strawbs -- The Hangman and the Papist, Benedictus, Golden Salamander, Tokyo Rosie, Hero and Heroine, Backside (Ciggy Barlust), Out in the Cold, Round and Round, Oh How She Changed, The Battle, Grace Darling, Blue Angel, Here it Comes, The Shepherd's Song, We'll Meet Again Sometime.
Kinks -- Victoria, Days, Apeman, Dead-End Street, 'Til the End of the Day, Dedicated Follower of Fashion, Sunny Afternoon, Better Things, Come Dancing, I Need You, Where Have All the Good Times Gone?, A Well Respected Man, Shangri-La.
Stylistics -- You are Everything, Betcha By Golly Wow, People Make the World Go Round, You Make Me Feel Brand New, Rockin' Roll Baby.
Spinners -- I'll Be Around, I'm Coming Home, Rubberband Man.
Nick Drake -- Cello Song, Hazey Jane I, Things Behind the Sun, From the Morning, One of These Things First, Northern Sky, Which Will, Hazey Jane II, Pink Moon.
Sandy Denny -- The Quiet Joys of Brotherhood, Listen Listen.
Rush -- Time Stand Still, Force Ten, Marathon.
Yes -- South Side of the Sky, Tempus Fugit, Leave It, It Can Happen.
Five Man Electrical Band -- Absolutely Right, Signs, Julianna.
Weather Report -- Badia/Boogie Woogie Waltz medley (live).
Jethro Tull -- A Christmas Song, Teacher, Life's a Long Song, Skating Away on the Thin Ice of the New Day, The Whistler, Dun Ringill, Living in the Past.
NOTES: Again I urge you to track down Kirsty MacColl's "Free World" -- it's worth it all for the great driving guitars & the angry lyrics. & then there's her VOICE....
Ditto the Rascals' great "See," which has some hilarious psychedelic poetry & excellent late-'60s heavy-organ sounds. These guys should've done more stuff like this.
The Strawbs -- hmmm. I SHOULD love these guys, because they're right up my folk/rock/progressive alley. & at times I DO love them -- the apocalyptic "Down by the Sea," the angry "Where is This Dream of Your Youth?," the WAY-over-the-top "Hero and Heroine," etc. But a lot of the time they're just kind of average. Their lovesongs are kinda syrupy & smarmy. & leader/main songwriter Dave Cousins' whiny voice can wear on you.
Their best-of's are kinda confused: The American HALCYON DAYS has a dozen different songs from the British version, & it's in chronological order -- the British version is all over the place, & the song choices don't seem as strong. The 2-record CLASSIC STRAWBS has one GREAT side -- but the rest is kind of spotty. & of the original albums, JUST A COLLECTION OF ANTIQUES AND CURIOS is a bore except for "Dream of Your Youth." GRAVE NEW WORLD has two listenable tracks (including the shockingly bitter "New World"), & the rest is pretty awful. I haven't been brave enough to go much farther, although (judging by the tracks recycled on the best-of's) GHOSTS, BURSTING AT THE SEAMS and HERO AND HEROINE all seem pretty strong.
In the above batch, "Hangman and the Papist" is highlighted by Rick Wakeman doodling all over the opening. The story is a bit overly dramatic, but Cousins is often best when pushed to the emotional edge. "Benedictus" is a morning prayer. "Golden Salamander" is silly. "Tokyo Rosie" is more relaxed, the guys letting their hair down a bit -- which they should've done more often. "Hero and Heroine" is practically the definition of ELP-like bombastic, lots of pushy keyboards & hysteria -- & Cousins correctly guessed that this "big sound" is what got them an audience in the U.S.
"Backside" is a sort-of David Bowie/Spiders From Mars satire, funny on first listening, above-average after that. "Out in the Cold" is a downbeat lost-love piece, a bit smarmy. "Round and Round" returns to the big, dramatic sound -- & has some disturbing lyrics at the end. "Oh How She Changed" is early stuff, but features the nice contrasting voice of Tony Hooper. "The Battle" is more tortured imagery as in "Hangman and the Papist."
Nick Drake accompanist Robert Kirby's guys'-church-choir is the best thing about the wedding march "Grace Darling," which overall is pretty pleasant. "Here it Comes" is a laughably obvious attempt at a hit -- which didn't work, & I couldn't get through it. Also couldn't get through the overwrought 9-minute "Blue Angel." I'll have more on these guys as I finish their British HALCYON DAYS best-of....
The Kinks -- ahhh, what a relief. I used to think the live "Victoria" beat the studio original to death -- I was wrong. It's a hoot to hear Brother Dave whoop it up in the background, & those one-word choruses are great. "Days" is very pleasant, though I think the huge hit version of this song is still waiting to happen. Ray's lyrics are sweet & moving, & very revealing -- & the guys' version is at least better than Kirsty MacColl's. But I still think this forgotten classic could be rescued by someone....
All those other Kinks Klassiks Up There still sound great, especially "Apeman" & "Dead-End Street" & "Sunny Afternoon" & "Shangri-La" -- an amazing song which sums-up most of Ray's Class Issues in 5 quick minutes. "Dedicated Follower" & "Well Respected Man" are both pretty hilarious. (Are these from that album about "manners and things" that Ray was once going to write?)
...& "I Need You" is the Silliest Heavy Song I've heard since Spooky Tooth's "Evil Woman." Those lyrics are really INTENSE, Ray. We MEAN it, man....
The Stylistics were so sweet they could rot your teeth right out. "You are Everything" is still glorious, but "Betcha By Golly Wow" is so sweet it's almost embarrassing -- no wonder Radio won't play it anymore. "People Make the World Go Round" even sounded pretty good, & I hadn't heard it in years. It's no Marvin Gaye '70s-social-commentary-insight piece when it comes to the lyrics, though....
Shouldn't have to push the Spinners on you. They still sound great -- & they shared a producer with the Stylistics, the great Thom Bell. Lot going on in "I'll Be Around." Linda Creed wrote some great lyrics for both groups. & "Rubberband Man" is a comedy classic that deserved to go to #1.
Nick Drake depressing? Well, only the over-produced stuff. There is also a kind of joy-in-spite-of-it-all that bubbles up in his music, in "Northern Sky" & "Fly" & "One of These Things First" & "At the Chime of a City Clock" & "Hazey Jane II," & even on "From the Morning," the gorgeous last song on his last album, PINK MOON. If his WAY TO BLUE best-of had "Fly" & "At the Chime of a City Clock" on it, it really would be Essential....
It's a short jump from Nick Drake to Sandy Denny. She's well worth hearing solo if only for the stark, dramatic, almost-acapella "The Quiet Joys of Brotherhood" & the incandescent, glorious "Listen, Listen." She did have an amazing voice....
Don't know how I missed Yes's "It Can Happen" -- knew the choruses, but it's like I missed the whole rest of the song, or thought it was something off of DRAMA ("Tempus Fugit" still sounds pretty great, too). Though "Owner of a Lonely Heart" died for me a long time ago, the other stuff from that period still holds up pretty well -- "Leave It"'s still pretty-much a knockout for me. Too bad "Changes" from 90125 isn't included on their DEFINITIVE COLLECTION -- it's also pretty punchy, still.
I also urge you to check-out Weather Report's live "Boogie Woogie Waltz" -- which I'm starting to think may not quite be the 4-star raver I previously blathered about, but turn it up LOUD & it will Do The Job on you anyway.... For me, the only place the WeatherMen woke up was when they were performing live....
Ah, the Tulls. Talk about a band that needs a GOOD best-of. All the current best-of's frustrate me. & the loud, ugly, noisy shit is inescapable. However, "Christmas Song," "Teacher," "Skating Away," "The Whistler" & etc. all still sound great. But why isn't "Baker Street Muse" on their best-of box?
Suggestions for further reviews can be submitted below....
Saturday, May 4, 2013
#661: Dating After 50 (Part 2)
OK, to recap....
The Fast One was a REALLY great kisser. But she was Crazy -- & Not in a Good Way. & the main reasons she seemed to want a guy around were for money & emotional support.
The Slow One was a nice person, but there was a lot of Mystery workin' there. One Winter night she actually called ME at work, which she NEVER did, & said -- out of the blue -- that she'd "really love to have a warm body to cuddle up with on these cold nights."
Bing-bing-BING! I gently offered to come right over after I closed the store ... but she said she didn't want that. I never really figured out what she DID want....
The 28-year-old disappeared after she came into the store one busy night & I wasn't absolutely overjoyed to see her. Besides, she had guys Her Own Age to chase after. Before that, she'd started showing me pictures of them that they'd sent to her cellphone....
Somewhere in the middle of this, an old friend kept popping up unexpectedly. She was also Just My Type, & a little closer to My Age, just passing 40. I thought she was gorgeous, & a lot of fun to talk with.
& even though her daughter's birthday inspired from me the first piece of comedy-fiction I'd written in YEARS as a birthday present -- they read it & laughed 'til they cried -- even that wasn't enough to win her over.
She finally told me very gently that -- even though she liked me -- I was WAY down her list of eligible men.
After these failures, I backed off for a bit. Like, 2 years. I started wondering if there was something wrong with me, if I expected too much, if I was misreading women. I'm famous for over-reacting, getting things wrong, making Something out of Nothing.
So I cooled off for awhile, gave up, kept to myself -- read & listened to music & wrote on this blog, & felt fairly happy. I thought I was doing OK. Maybe I was a little lonely sometimes, but I got to the point where I didn't obsess about it. In fact, I tried not to think about it at all. I thought My Life Was Good.
Maybe I was wrong. My roommate -- who had to put up with me through this -- told me at one point that I was being "insufferable." & that's a big word for him.
So I got brave, looked at my bank account, & took the plunge. I joined Match.com.
It was a fun experience, & a real eye-opener. I was only on Match for 2 months -- long enough to get WAY cynical about it. Even got a blog post out of it -- look up "2 months on Match.com!", it's worth the trouble, lotsa laughs.
I was on long enough that my Match profile/bio turned into a satire of all the women's bios I'd been reading -- poking fun at the laundry-list of requirements they had for a guy. Sure, I wanted a financially-secure, romantic, emotionally-stable, passionate mate who enjoyed long romantic walks on a moonlit beach -- who wouldn't want THAT? But the Reality was....
I was in my last couple weeks on Match when a woman walked into my work & introduced herself -- as I'd urged brave women to do in my bio, because I thought I came across better in person than in a photo.
Problem was, I didn't know who she was. Match had sent my bio to her, but I hadn't seen her profile.
She got all embarrassed -- but I told her not to be, that it was All Good & maybe we'd talk more....
I went home that night & checked Match & there she was. We e-mailed each other, & agreed to meet for coffee & talk. We met again for coffee a couple nights later, then agreed to have a picnic on my next day off -- pretty brave planning for Western Washington in the Spring.
& we've been together pretty-much ever since. That's been over a year, now.
At first it was nice just having someone new to talk with. Then it became obvious that we were very much alike in our interests & temperaments & OCD-ness. ...& then we started finishing each other's sentences. & calling each other at the same time. & making each other laugh 'til we cry. & all that other gooshy stuff that happens when you start Falling for someone.
We're very comfortable with each other, & at my age that means a lot. It hasn't been perfect, exactly. We've both got weird work schedules, & we're both a bit of a challenge to live with. There have been a couple bumpy spots along the way, but not as many as I'd expected, & nothing really Major. Mainly, I think, because the new girlfriend is a grown-up. She's very steady. That makes a big difference.
This could happen to you, too. Don't give up.
But watch out for the Crazies....
The Fast One was a REALLY great kisser. But she was Crazy -- & Not in a Good Way. & the main reasons she seemed to want a guy around were for money & emotional support.
The Slow One was a nice person, but there was a lot of Mystery workin' there. One Winter night she actually called ME at work, which she NEVER did, & said -- out of the blue -- that she'd "really love to have a warm body to cuddle up with on these cold nights."
Bing-bing-BING! I gently offered to come right over after I closed the store ... but she said she didn't want that. I never really figured out what she DID want....
The 28-year-old disappeared after she came into the store one busy night & I wasn't absolutely overjoyed to see her. Besides, she had guys Her Own Age to chase after. Before that, she'd started showing me pictures of them that they'd sent to her cellphone....
Somewhere in the middle of this, an old friend kept popping up unexpectedly. She was also Just My Type, & a little closer to My Age, just passing 40. I thought she was gorgeous, & a lot of fun to talk with.
& even though her daughter's birthday inspired from me the first piece of comedy-fiction I'd written in YEARS as a birthday present -- they read it & laughed 'til they cried -- even that wasn't enough to win her over.
She finally told me very gently that -- even though she liked me -- I was WAY down her list of eligible men.
After these failures, I backed off for a bit. Like, 2 years. I started wondering if there was something wrong with me, if I expected too much, if I was misreading women. I'm famous for over-reacting, getting things wrong, making Something out of Nothing.
So I cooled off for awhile, gave up, kept to myself -- read & listened to music & wrote on this blog, & felt fairly happy. I thought I was doing OK. Maybe I was a little lonely sometimes, but I got to the point where I didn't obsess about it. In fact, I tried not to think about it at all. I thought My Life Was Good.
Maybe I was wrong. My roommate -- who had to put up with me through this -- told me at one point that I was being "insufferable." & that's a big word for him.
So I got brave, looked at my bank account, & took the plunge. I joined Match.com.
It was a fun experience, & a real eye-opener. I was only on Match for 2 months -- long enough to get WAY cynical about it. Even got a blog post out of it -- look up "2 months on Match.com!", it's worth the trouble, lotsa laughs.
I was on long enough that my Match profile/bio turned into a satire of all the women's bios I'd been reading -- poking fun at the laundry-list of requirements they had for a guy. Sure, I wanted a financially-secure, romantic, emotionally-stable, passionate mate who enjoyed long romantic walks on a moonlit beach -- who wouldn't want THAT? But the Reality was....
I was in my last couple weeks on Match when a woman walked into my work & introduced herself -- as I'd urged brave women to do in my bio, because I thought I came across better in person than in a photo.
Problem was, I didn't know who she was. Match had sent my bio to her, but I hadn't seen her profile.
She got all embarrassed -- but I told her not to be, that it was All Good & maybe we'd talk more....
I went home that night & checked Match & there she was. We e-mailed each other, & agreed to meet for coffee & talk. We met again for coffee a couple nights later, then agreed to have a picnic on my next day off -- pretty brave planning for Western Washington in the Spring.
& we've been together pretty-much ever since. That's been over a year, now.
At first it was nice just having someone new to talk with. Then it became obvious that we were very much alike in our interests & temperaments & OCD-ness. ...& then we started finishing each other's sentences. & calling each other at the same time. & making each other laugh 'til we cry. & all that other gooshy stuff that happens when you start Falling for someone.
We're very comfortable with each other, & at my age that means a lot. It hasn't been perfect, exactly. We've both got weird work schedules, & we're both a bit of a challenge to live with. There have been a couple bumpy spots along the way, but not as many as I'd expected, & nothing really Major. Mainly, I think, because the new girlfriend is a grown-up. She's very steady. That makes a big difference.
This could happen to you, too. Don't give up.
But watch out for the Crazies....
Friday, May 3, 2013
#660: Dating After 50 (Part 1)
It's a jungle out there.
After the end of my last long-term Relationship (10 years), I was actually kind of excited about meeting somebody new. But I didn't realize how weird things had gotten since the last time I went out on a date.
I went through 5 years of scaring women off, meeting & going out with women who were Obviously Wrong for me, even joining a dating website before I finally met someone who was Right for me -- by accident. & so far we've been together for over a year.
Once I became Available again, I made two obvious mistakes: I was a little too obvious & desperate. & I asked out just about any woman who seemed even mildly interested.
This led to 3 women in a row saying yes, they'd go out with me -- & then they vanished, never to be seen or heard from again. I got the message. I didn't like scaring women off, so I then became perhaps overly cautious.
Which led to me going on dates with one woman who was way too SLOW for me ... & another who was way too FAST. WAY too fast.
The Fast One was an impulse, A Date Of Opportunity, because I realized it had been too long since I'd actually said the words "Do you want to go out?" & she'd just broken up with her boyfriend, so she was easy pickins. But I paid for it....
"So, what's up?" I asked. "Oh," she said, "I just got done kickin' my old boyfriend to the curb." "Well, you need to go out with ME, then!" DONE!
We went out a couple times for a midnight snack, & she always left abruptly, as if she was scared of being followed. Nothing happened. Wasn't sure I WANTED anything to. She seemed a little crazy. Maybe more than a little. So I wrote her off.
Months later, she showed up at my job just as I was closing up. As I locked the front door, she ran up and kissed me on the cheek. "I want to go out with you RIGHT NOW," she said in a breathless rush. "I want you to drive MY car -- & you're gonna Get Lucky tonight 'cos I'm not wearing ANY PANTIES!"
Uh ... Oh ... Kay....
Survived that. But I learned what the game was pretty quick, because she'd only show up out of the blue, without any warning, whenever she needed emotional support or gas money to go see her son in Seattle. Eventually she just drifted away. Thank Ghod.
The Slow One was a couple years older than me, had been alone for 5 years, & said she'd gotten used to men not noticing her. She told me up-front she wanted me "to do all the work" -- call her, figure out things for us to do together, do all the driving, etc. We agreed to get together to check-out second-hand stores, have coffee, maybe go to a movie now & then. We agreed we'd be friends, not rush.
We went out a few times, had some laughs, were pretty relaxed with each other -- but after 3 months of seeing each other every couple weeks we had maybe gently pressed our lips together twice. Things were moving very slowly. We weren't learning much about each other. The conversation dragged. There was a LOT that wasn't being said.
& she wouldn't return phonecalls. After 9 p.m. she wouldn't even ANSWER her phone.
The End came when she got us movie matinee passes & I asked if she wanted me to put my arm around her in case the movie got scary.
"You just keep your arm to yourself," she said. Boom.
Then she COMPLETELY stopped answering her phone.
Too bad. She was a nice person, even if she was a little ... slow ....
There was a 28-year-old I met at work & went out with a couple times. She was My Type -- long dark hair, a few extra pounds in the right places, & she went on&ON about how she LOVED to come into the store when I was working. So I asked her out. I figured she was being pretty obvious.
I didn't realize how young she was until we were out drinking coffee & trying to cover the basics. Then I learned she was almost young enough to be my daughter.
I was uneasy, but kind of flattered because I thought she was HOT -- & very open in her conversation, which was also attractive.
But I noticed that as we sat there talking in the cafe, she looked at EVERY GUY who walked by, & that's when it hit me:
She was just Passing Time with The Old Guy until The Right Guy came along. Once that was clear to me, she wasn't so hot anymore.
(To Be Continued....)
After the end of my last long-term Relationship (10 years), I was actually kind of excited about meeting somebody new. But I didn't realize how weird things had gotten since the last time I went out on a date.
I went through 5 years of scaring women off, meeting & going out with women who were Obviously Wrong for me, even joining a dating website before I finally met someone who was Right for me -- by accident. & so far we've been together for over a year.
Once I became Available again, I made two obvious mistakes: I was a little too obvious & desperate. & I asked out just about any woman who seemed even mildly interested.
This led to 3 women in a row saying yes, they'd go out with me -- & then they vanished, never to be seen or heard from again. I got the message. I didn't like scaring women off, so I then became perhaps overly cautious.
Which led to me going on dates with one woman who was way too SLOW for me ... & another who was way too FAST. WAY too fast.
The Fast One was an impulse, A Date Of Opportunity, because I realized it had been too long since I'd actually said the words "Do you want to go out?" & she'd just broken up with her boyfriend, so she was easy pickins. But I paid for it....
"So, what's up?" I asked. "Oh," she said, "I just got done kickin' my old boyfriend to the curb." "Well, you need to go out with ME, then!" DONE!
We went out a couple times for a midnight snack, & she always left abruptly, as if she was scared of being followed. Nothing happened. Wasn't sure I WANTED anything to. She seemed a little crazy. Maybe more than a little. So I wrote her off.
Months later, she showed up at my job just as I was closing up. As I locked the front door, she ran up and kissed me on the cheek. "I want to go out with you RIGHT NOW," she said in a breathless rush. "I want you to drive MY car -- & you're gonna Get Lucky tonight 'cos I'm not wearing ANY PANTIES!"
Uh ... Oh ... Kay....
Survived that. But I learned what the game was pretty quick, because she'd only show up out of the blue, without any warning, whenever she needed emotional support or gas money to go see her son in Seattle. Eventually she just drifted away. Thank Ghod.
The Slow One was a couple years older than me, had been alone for 5 years, & said she'd gotten used to men not noticing her. She told me up-front she wanted me "to do all the work" -- call her, figure out things for us to do together, do all the driving, etc. We agreed to get together to check-out second-hand stores, have coffee, maybe go to a movie now & then. We agreed we'd be friends, not rush.
We went out a few times, had some laughs, were pretty relaxed with each other -- but after 3 months of seeing each other every couple weeks we had maybe gently pressed our lips together twice. Things were moving very slowly. We weren't learning much about each other. The conversation dragged. There was a LOT that wasn't being said.
& she wouldn't return phonecalls. After 9 p.m. she wouldn't even ANSWER her phone.
The End came when she got us movie matinee passes & I asked if she wanted me to put my arm around her in case the movie got scary.
"You just keep your arm to yourself," she said. Boom.
Then she COMPLETELY stopped answering her phone.
Too bad. She was a nice person, even if she was a little ... slow ....
There was a 28-year-old I met at work & went out with a couple times. She was My Type -- long dark hair, a few extra pounds in the right places, & she went on&ON about how she LOVED to come into the store when I was working. So I asked her out. I figured she was being pretty obvious.
I didn't realize how young she was until we were out drinking coffee & trying to cover the basics. Then I learned she was almost young enough to be my daughter.
I was uneasy, but kind of flattered because I thought she was HOT -- & very open in her conversation, which was also attractive.
But I noticed that as we sat there talking in the cafe, she looked at EVERY GUY who walked by, & that's when it hit me:
She was just Passing Time with The Old Guy until The Right Guy came along. Once that was clear to me, she wasn't so hot anymore.
(To Be Continued....)
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