So, Thanksgiving's coming up pretty quick, & then -- Black Friday. The biggest retail bizness day of the year.
The day when MILLIONS of consumers climb outta bed WAY TOO EARLY after barely sleeping-off their Turkeycosis from the day B4, pile in2 SUVs & race hurriedly 2 their nearest mall 2 B there at 4 am when WalMart or Target or Macy's throw their doors open 4 the massive totally-Byond-Blief never-2-B-repeated Xmas-kickoff sales -- when HUGE 72-inch thin-screen plasma TVs sell 4 $99, when the latest videogames R slashed down 2 $5, when the latest in smartphones & other high-tech goodies R cut 2 the bone in massive across-the-board never-2-B-repeated UNBELIEVABLE sale prices....
The day when hapless minimum-wage WalMart Mployees get trampled just trying 2 get the front doors open, when every year dozens of assaults R reported Btween shoppers trying 2 elbow or punch their way closer 2 that 1 big bargain that just CAN'T B resisted, when millions of people go even further in debt trying 2 get a jump on the Xmas gift-giving season, trying 2 take advantage of prices that will NEVER -- NO, WE MEAN IT THIS TIME! -- NEVER B repeated....
What sane person would do this? What normal, thinking human being would want 2 take part in such an ugly, mindless rat race?
Actually, my X-wife useta get up way 2 early the day after Tgiving & go hit the malls, thinking she'd get the jump on something Really Good. (I don't know if she still does this.) Sometimes she took the kids with her. She said she tried 2 make it "an event."
Yeah, that's some event, all right. Driving 4 an hour or more in freezing temperatures with no sleep so you can stand outside some big-box retail store, freeze some more, & then beg 4 crumbs when they "run out" of the bargains you were hoping 2 score. That's a great Family Tradition 2 pass down 2 your kids. Tiredness, drudgery, stress, frustration, Xhaustion. What a way 2 open the Holidays. It always brot the X home stressed-out, angry, frustrated, Xhausted. & broke.
What thinking person would do this? & why do so many millions do it every year? Has no1 figured out that big retailers have plenty more goods Byond just the "unbeatable-bargain" 1s they use as bait 2 entice you 2 the store with? Does no1 remember those after-Xmas sales where prices on the same goods you fought 2 get at a month B4 R slashed 50-, 70-, 90-percent off? Does NE1 remember anything anymore?
Is it somehow more fun 2 race 2 the malls at a given day & time like lemmings, & then fight the crowds, like rats running thru a maze? You know there's some cheese in here somewhere, but you don't know Xactly where it IS, do you, Mr. Jones?
The ads R all thru your junk mail, in all the newspapers, all over the TV, & it's only gonna get worse. Shit, I'm getting unwanted Black Friday Sale ads in my e-mail!
There's only 1 thing 2 do:
Boycott Black Friday.
Stay home! Sleep in! Imagine all the chaos you'll miss out on, the screaming & crying & physical violence, the car wrecks you won't have 2 witness! Sleep off that huge turkey dinner. You've earned it.
Talk your kids in2 waiting 'til the After-Xmas sales. Those new tennies or that new smartphone will B just as great then -- even better, cos they'll B 75% OFF! Tell your kids they'll get MORE presents if they wait 24 hours longer. Your kids won't fight you very hard -- they know MORE is BETTER.
Bsides, who the hell wants 2 fight all that mess? Who wants 2 deal with the General Public? I make it a point never 2 deal with the General Public when I'm not working. & then I havta deal with them every day. & believe me, they R a beast. They never stop Wanting. & Demanding.
If this avoidance therapy works 4 you, there's other steps you can take 2 reduce the hassles in your daily life. Try shopping during off-beat hours when you can avoid the crowds. I remember back in the day when I could go grocery shopping at 2 am at my favorite local 24-hour grocery store. You'd B suprised how EASY it is 2 get your shopping done then, how fast you can burn thru that place -- it sure ain't crowded then, & the same stuff is on sale.
Yeah, there's some weirdos out at 2 am. But they're out in the daytime, 2. You just can't tell. Bcos there's SO MANY of them these days.
In case you're wondering, yeah, I have a bias. I work retail. & I've worked a few Black Fridays. They're No Fun 4 NEbody. The last 1 I remember working -- at a Gig Harbor, Wash., Target store back in 2002 -- was a screaming chaotic blur from the time I got there til the time I went home. I was told I did a good job & actually helped people, & that some customers told my bosses how cool & helpful I was under pressure. But I know I never stopped talking & pointing & moving & running & sweating, never caught my breath & never hadda chance 2 relax ... all day long.
So, do your part 4 the economy, do right by yer kids & loved 1's. But save yourself the stress.
Boycott Black Friday. It ain't worth it. Those great, unbeatable, never-2-B-repeated deals will B back again. The day after Xmas....