Saturday, February 4, 2012

#525: The Stupor Bowl!

Hey, hear there's some big football game coming up this weekend, Giants/Patriots, a lotta people R Xcited....
Yeah? So what? Who cares?
The Giants won the Super Bowl last year, the Pats have won a buncha times. So what? It's the same old guys in there. Big deal.
Won't miss NOT seeing it. Glad I'm workin.
I hear that big-screen TV sales go thru the roof in the weeks leading up 2 the Super Bowl every year.
I also hear that more & more people suffer heart attacks every year during the game -- especially if it's really close. They just can't take the stress.
+ it's a fact that there R more Domestic Violence incidents reported on Super Bowl Sunday than on NE other day of the year.
So, since we're having all this "fun" already, I've thot of a way the National Football League can hype their annual championship game even more. If the NFL's smart -- & they usually R when it comes 2 $$$ -- they'll adopt this idea....
Why not have the 2 WORST teams in the league during the regular season face-off in a sorta pre-Game game, & have the prize B who gets 2 pick the 1st college draft-choice in the off-season?
Of course the "winner" of this game would havta B the LOSER, Bcos the worst team overall always makes the 1st pick.
THERE's a game even "my" Seattle Seahawks would B thrilled 2 play in -- would B thrilled 2 LOSE -- Bcos even by losing they'd win, if you see what I mean. + they'd B on national TV & all -- & losing, something they usually do, would B a worthwhile goal in this match.
They could call it The Stupor Bowl -- a chance 4 the 2 teams who faced the utmost futility during the regular season 2 fight it out 1 last time 4 "bragging rights"....
MayB the Seahawks weren't actually bad enuf 2 B "invited" 2 The Stupor Bowl this year -- but it sure SEEMED like it. MayB they didn't go 1-15 for the season. Maybe they were only 4-12 or 6-10 -- doesn't matter. Who cares?
My point is, a pre-Game game like this would get some NEW TEAMS in the spotlight, some folks you don't C all the time -- 4 obvious reasons. Some teams that got overlooked in the pursuit of Xcellence.
Let's see -- I'm thinking Seahawks/Raiders, maybe? Or Seahawks/Bills? Who was REALLY BAD this past season? Detroit? Cincinnati? (I didn't really pay much attention....)
Look, I useta B a BIG football fan. For YEARS. Back when I was married & spent mosta my Sundays doing laundry, that TV was tuned 2 football from 10 am 2 10 pm, & I yelled & cheered & screamed when my favorite teams did well. There was nothing on TV as pretty as seeing Joe Montana complete an 80-yard pass over Jerry Rice's right shoulder just as the clock ticked down 2 the end of regulation time.
But a couple days B4 the Super Bowl of 2000, it was like I OD'd on football. I called the cable company & told 'em 2 pull the plug & come get the equipment cos I was done.
& Xcept 4 the Seahawks' wasted trip 2 the SB a few years back, I haven't watched a single game all-the-way-thru since.
& I haven't missed it.
In fact, most sports events seem more & more pointless the older I get.
Basketball season was almost cancelled this year? So what?
Baseball? They're all WAY overpaid.
Jeez, I don't even watch HOCKEY anymore, & I thot I'd NEVER break THAT addiction.
But I think The Stupor Bowl has possibilities. I'd switch-on the TV 2 C the 2 worst teams of the year face-off 4 1 last all-or-nothing match-up. & if I would, I'm sure there's 1,000s of others who'd watch, who mayB don't give a crap about the Real game....
R U listening, NFL? Give me a call or drop me an e-mail & we'll do lunch....


drewzepmeister said...

The winners for this year's Stuper Bowl would be the Indianapolis Colts and the St. Louis Rams. Both have 2-14 records.

I still plan watching the Super Bowl even though my beloved Packers didn't make it again this year. They lost to the Giants in the post season, their second game they lost all season long. (Their other loss was to the lowly Chiefs late in the regular season)

Football is like a religion here in Wisconsin. Believe it or not, season tickets for Lambeau Field are sold out till the next century. Good luck in getting any...

Making things interesting, my girlfriend is a die hard Bears fan. You should see us...teasing each other, making bets. (She does look pretty darn cute wearing my Packers jersey)

TAD said...

Thanx 4 the update, Drew. I can understand why football's like a religion in Wis. I get that Lambeau Field is like a holy shrine....

R S Crabb said...

Hell my GF is still mad that the Giants won, after all they beat the Cowboys twice, then The 49ers and then the Patriots. Been a nasty weekend so to speak ;)