The song title above is pronounced "pee-break," as all Jethro Tull fans will know. And today's post is for the gentlemen in the audience.
Guys. Does your pee-er ever get confused -- like it won't go where you want it to go unless you guide it?
Uh... I'm talking about in the bathroom, while sitting on the potty. I've gotten to the point where I have to guide and hold the little guy where I want him to go ... or else I end up peeing all over myself.
I'll wait for the laughter to subside.
This has started to be a real issue with me. I have officially gone from middle-aged into Alzheimer's. Twice. In the last two weeks. Messed up two pairs of sweats.
The Girlfriend thinks this is hilarious. And she does the laundry anyway, Ghod bless her.
I guess I COULD go back to peeing standing up, and make a bigger mess ... just not on ME.
But this never USED to be a problem. Used to be I could just point the pee-er in the right general direction and gravity would take care of the rest. But now, thanks to those mysterious growing-older bodily changes, it's like he doesn't want to come out. Or he's too cold. Or something.
Yesterday, sitting on the pot, doing my business. The process gets started, and it's trying to be Spring here, despite the pouring rain, and I'm a little groggy, but my eyes are itchy, so I reach up to rub them, and ... well, you know the rest.
WTF? True, this is a very minor problem, and I can adjust, but. Does this ever happen to anybody else? (You guys, I mean.) And what new bodily horrors can I expect to experience in the days ahead? (If you have warnings for me, go easy. I've got enough to put up with already.)
Meanwhile, a brief playlist for those more challenging potty-time trips....
* Jethro Tull -- Pibroch.
* Boston -- Foreplay/Long Time.
* Beatles -- Revolution 9.
* Rolling Stones -- Goin' Home.
* Iron Butterfly -- In-a-Gadda-da-Vida.
* Love -- Revelation.
* Yes -- Close to the Edge.
* Jethro Tull -- THICK AS A BRICK (CD).
* Jethro Tull -- A PASSION PLAY (CD).
* Nektar -- REMEMBER THE FUTURE (CD).
* Yes -- TALES FROM TOPOGRAPHIC OCEANS (CD version). 80 minutes of un-interrupted soundtrack....
* Yes -- YESSONGS (CD). How much time do you NEED?
* ELP -- WELCOME BACK MY FRIENDS TO THE SHOW THAT NEVER ENDS....
This post is for The Girlfriend, who told me I should write about it. While choking back her laughter.
...And if there's anyone out there waiting for any other funny horror stories from this same general area, well ... you're NOT going to get them.