An Interruption In Service

Jeez, where to start?

WORK: First 2 nights of Marathon 4 have gone very smoothly. No complaints from me. And at least the AC is still working, as it remains hot here -- in the mid-to-upper 90s. The Girlfriend has me relaxed and thinking about work differently. Like it's OK if I can't fix something in the next 30 seconds, maybe the world won't end. Only 10 more nights to go. And at least two of those 10-hour nights will be ALL OVERTIME....

MOVING: It's Official. I will be completely moved-in with The Girlfriend on Labor Day. Talked it over with The Old Roommate -- he knew it was coming, wasn't surprised, even had a replacement already lined-up. I'm ecstatic, and The Girlfriend is thrilled, and this is actually going to happen within our lifetime. I know where I want to be, and it's right here. The Old Roommate even offered to let me use his truck so I can get the move done all at once, rather than carting a few boxes over now and then and fighting with the furniture. He's really a pretty great guy. Life is really good. I'm so happy I hardly know what to complain about....

TRIP: Portland is the Future! Well, maybe not, but it was a great break -- and I brought back a TON of CD's and a half-ton of books, all of which I'll probably be reporting on here, eventually. Powell's really IS the biggest bookstore I've ever seen, and within an hour I'd easily blown my modest budget.
Also visited one very nice CD shop -- Everyday Music, somewhere on Portland's west side -- and could easily have spent the rest of my life THERE, too.
There were lots of other things I liked about Portland: The pace somehow seems much slower there, MUCH slower than the Seattle area. In two days, I didn't see a single instance of road rage, horns honking, people screaming at each other, anyone driving anyone else off the road, etc. -- stuff I pretty much take for granted in this neighborhood. When we were stuck on the freeway in 90-degree heat, it was just The Girlfriend and I who were getting cranky. And a break for dinner took care of that.
I'm not naive -- there were a number of homeless people, but they weren't aggressive like they are here -- I wasn't held up for spare change. I only saw one meth freak, at the end of the second day, who began shouting threats for no reason and was immediately bounced from the restaurant we were sitting in ... and 10 seconds later the police arrived. I was impressed. It seemed almost ... civilized, there.
I'm not an idiot about stuff like this. And I can be miserable anywhere. But it sure was a nice break. Just getting out of town for awhile maybe did me more good than my vacation awhile back. I sure am relaxed, now. I'm hoping it lasts....

LOVE: Well, it's freakin' great. I have never felt so relaxed and at-ease with anyone, a woman who really GETS me, who has many of the same interests and obsessions, even some of the same hang-ups. We can talk for HOURS and laugh like loons and it's freakin' great. It seems like we've always known each other. She's my best friend. We've been seeing each other for four months -- together pretty-much 24/7 for the last three, and there hasn't been a cross, angry, ugly word between us. So THIS is what all those lovesongs were talkin' about. I recommend it heavily. Five stars.

The Gas Nazi returns!

Back at work for two weeks and am due for another vacation already. Some nights have been a breeze, a couple have sucked. Thursday night was the worst in months. And I don't think it was just me having a Bad Night.
It's summer, and it's been krayzee-busy. Unhappy families hanging out barking at each other, parents buying beer but angrily refusing to buy cheap snacks for their kids, guys on bicycles circling around the parking lot aimlessly at midnight with no headlights, meth freaks wandering around like zombies. Some of them LOOK like zombies.
One obnoxious Regular who played scratch-tickets down to his last dime last winter came in all sad to tell me that his girlfriend had slept with his brother AND his best friend. "But NOT at the same time," he felt compelled to add. Meanwhile, his anorexic 18-year-old girlfriend stood right outside the store's front door, looking more lost than he did.
What did this guy want from me? He's not my friend, he's not even a friendly acquaintance. He'd already blown any chance of getting a supportive or compassionate response from me when he treated me like an idiot months ago. I didn't need to be told this stuff. And now I'm supposed to feel sorry for him?
My favorite drunk came in at two minutes to midnight to cash-in $35 worth of scratch-tickets, and I about came unglued. Because we've talked repeatedly about this before, about how I'm trying to close, scratch tickets are locked up, she's causing me more work and overtime I won't get paid for, etc. Made no difference.
"Why won't you take my tickets? You've still got three minutes," etc. So I cashed her out. But next time I'll send her somewhere else. The state shuts off scratch-ticket cash-outs at midnight. We'll see how she feels about that.
This is on top of all the usual work, all the stuff I get no help with, all the stocking and cleaning nobody else does that I can't keep up with, etc. And it wasn't THAT busy a night. We barely made $1,000. There've been many much-busier nights. But something about it really set me off. And I was lost by the time I got home. What if it's ME?
Despite this, despite the demands, despite the constant WANT-WANT-WANT and the crabiness when we didn't HAVE, I wasn't mean to anybody all night, I didn't yell at anyone, I didn't say any mean things. I held it together. Even with the drunk at midnight, though she wondered aloud why I was having such a hard time. That was because I wanted to wring her neck. By then I was Done.
My girlfriend says if I ever want to feel settled about my job, all I can do is change my mind and learn to live with it, because the situation's never gonna change. You'd think after 12 years on the job I'd KNOW that, but....
In light of this, I have come up with a list of goals to help me succeed and be happier at my job. Because of all the bitching I've done here about work, I know you'll appreciate me sharing them:
1. Don't WORRY.
2. Get through my shift and get home safely.
3. Don't upset customers.
4. Be nice to people.
5. Get all my side-work done.
6. No more negative talking to myself or customers.
7. Don't give my co-workers a hard time.
8. Stop judging people.
9. Be positive.
10. Enjoy myself, have fun, play!
11. Save money, win the Lottery, RETIRE!
My girlfriend says these are all do-able goals. Maybe not realistic, but do-able. I'll keep you posted....
When's my break?

MOVING: It's in the works. I'm already forwarding my mail here, to the girlfriend's house, where it's quiet and secure and Not Weird and I have some peace and time to think. Still haven't told the old Roommate yet, but he seems to know it's coming -- since I haven't slept under his roof in 2 months. Nor has he given me an update on the idiots who stole $800 from him. So far, all my stuff is secure, no weirdness with my bank account or any more attempts to mess with my credit. I may have dodged one. And I hope those jokers get sent up the creek. Meanwhile, all of my CD's and most of my clothes are here, books are being brought over a box or two at a time, and the girlfriend and I have found domestic bliss like I never thought I'd feel again. At least one part of my life is wonderful.

INVASION: It's the Russians! Over the last few weeks, this blog has set new records for viewership, with 75 percent of those visits coming from Russia. What are they looking for? There's nothing here. I'm not getting 400 views from Russia each day just because they're such big Nektar fans, I know that. And they're "reading" stuff I posted five years ago. Are these the same hackers who got into Hillary Clinton's e-mails and hacked the Democratic National Committee? Good Luck, guys. But there's nothing useful to you here....

THE ELECTION FROM HELL: I don't believe a word Hillary Clinton says. And some of Donald Trump's statements at the Republican Convention sounded like Hitler. Or at least Barry Goldwater back in 1964. Neither of these idiots really seem to believe they can rescue this country -- they just say what their audience wants to hear. They have NO SOLID PLANS for the future. If Bernie Sanders came out today as a third-party candidate millions would vote for him. The system is so fucked-up I doubt it matters WHO is President. Don't know what to do, but I've got my tickets to New Zealand reserved. Is this the best this country can do? Once again I suggest we JUST VOTE NO.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends

First day back at work was pretty great. Especially for a Monday. There was plenty to do, but I handled it, even had a good time. Was still in a good mood when I went home.
There were some Regulars who'd noticed I'd been gone and welcomed me back. That's always nice. And I didn't growl at or chew on anybody all night.
I'd like to keep this good mood going at work. We'll see how long it lasts.
And all thanks to the Girlfriend for helping re-adjust my mindset. She's the best.

Remember my Roommate and that Theft issue I wrote about awhile back? None of that's been resolved. And the people who apparently committed the thefts -- $800 worth of bounced checks, trying to open accounts on-line, etc. -- those folks are LIVING UNDER HIS ROOF RIGHT NOW. RENT-FREE. My rent money is helping to FEED them.
Not the first time this has happened.
The suspects are a jobless, homeless couple who Roommate invited into the house as a favor to a friend. The friend has not offered any help since the thefts were noticed. What kind of friend is he?
The couple argue constantly, worry about anyone who comes to the door, act sketchy, do nothing. The woman has FIVE kids -- who she doesn't have custody of. This should have told Roommate something.
But Roommate is willing to let ANYONE into the house. Especially if he's been drinking. And especially if Anyone is a woman he thinks he can Get Something from.
And then he whines afterward when someone steals from him.
Roommate has told me who I CAN'T bring to the house to quietly entertain in the room I rent from him. But he loves the whole world when he's drinking. And when he's had enough to drink he is oblivious to what happens around him.
Prying an update from him about the Thefts has been like pulling teeth. He says TWO law-enforcement agencies are involved. He says the couple will be going away to jail for a long time. He says his bank has covered the $800 in bad checks, so he's all happy. He says he's got it all wired. He's just waiting until the arrests are made. He knows where the culprits are.
And he's feeding them, allowing them to use his bathroom and laundry, watch his TV, sleep together in the bed he bought for someone else. While they do nothing, pay for nothing. We're all great friends around here. And this has happened before.
Why the hell hasn't he thrown them out? What is he thinking? He won't tell me.
Meanwhile, I have bank statements that are missing. I have bills that have seemingly never arrived in the mail. I've had to start checking my bank-account balance every day. Nobody's stolen anything from me yet, but I sure don't feel secure. Things have been moved and messed with in my room. Several times.
There's a whole lot more, but I'll spare you.
I started moving out piece-by-piece over a week ago. That slow-motion move will continue. Roommate hasn't noticed. But I'm sick of all the drama. And now it's affecting ME.
Roommate seems to think this is all a game -- that it's LOTS of fun when he knows things I don't. Roommate bitches at me over the smallest things, but he's being real nice to the couple who stole $800 from him.
It's been damn hard not to tell him off. I still have to tell him he needs to look for a new roommate. But I'm waiting for the right time -- like maybe when all my stuff is out of the house. I'd like to end this with no arguments, but I don't see how that's gonna happen.
Roommate may be getting big yuks out of this, but I'm going to have the last laugh. Because I'm not going to be there much longer. And then Roommate's gonna have to find a new sucker to help pay for his mortgage and pay for his beer and feed his "friends."
I should have been out of there two years ago, the last time he picked a fight with me for no reason, just because he wanted someone to argue with. Everything since then has been a downhill slide. And he just gets weirder.
I know this post has nothing to do with Strange Music or books, and I apologize. But when you read here, you get whatever's on my mind. And this has been on my mind a lot.
Any advice? Other than to try and lighten up, I mean...?

Love rocks!

On the other hand, there's The Good Stuff.
I'm in love with a wonderful woman, and it's awesome. Literally. I'm just stunned at how great it feels. Sometimes I have to step back and take a breath.
She's shocked, too. She says it's like looking in a mirror. We see each other. We GET each other. We're a lot alike. And it's great. It feels like we've known each other for years.
We go hit Goodwills and CD stores and used book stores together. We wander through antique malls and flea markets and look for overlooked great stuff. She loves that I like to "go junkin'." Over the weekend, when we were thinking about making our usual second-hand-store stops, she said "Yeah, let's go play." That summed it up. And we went.
The most boring, normal, everyday stuff is special now because I'm with someone who makes it magic.
It's silly, but the gloppiest, most romantic lovesongs all ring true to me now. They all make sense.
I've got it bad.
She says she's listening to music in a different way now, because of me. We have some common ground -- we agree on how amazingly great Aretha Franklin and Al Green are.
This past weekend, she bought a Three Dog Night best-of, and we were driving through the streets of nearby Bremerton with the music turned up, me screaming along with "One Man Band" (which I hadn't heard in YEARS, sounded GREAT) and "Celebrate" and "Try a Little Tenderness," murmuring along with "Out in the Country" and "Easy to be Hard," and joining in on the choruses while she be-bopped to "Joy to the World" (silliest song to ever sell six million copies, including one to 12-year-old me).
And it was perfect.
I was getting pretty grim awhile back, thinking that Life Sucked and nothing made me happy.
And then along comes this surprise gift from God.
And I am humbled and grateful and I don't know what to say.
Don't give up. This could happen to you.

A marriage made in heaven

I have this roommate. My roommate has this girlfriend. Sort of.
Even though money is tight and we can barely feed ourselves and stay ahead of the bills, over the last few months my roommate has let his sort-of girlfriend move into the house, bringing all of her stuff with her, and taking over a bedroom my roommate could have rented-out for at least $300 or $400 per month.
My roommate is not being "a nice guy." He Wants Something from this sort-of relationship. And he's not getting it. She won't sleep with him. She always has some kind of lame excuse.
She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't have a job. She's technically homeless. She gets food-stamp money every month, and spends it at the nearest grocery store ... but she also has five little nieces and nephews that live nearby, and most of the food ends up going to them. And my roommate has to go pick them up when she wants to see them.
When she cooks, it's for the kids. She never cleans up after herself, no matter how big the mess. She won't do dishes.
When she's in the house, she always has the TV blaring -- even when she's asleep. A couple days back she noticed some of the old record albums I have stashed in my room -- Aretha, Al Green, THE MOTOWN STORY. "There's some great old stuff here," she said. "You should play some of it."
"I would," I said, "if you'd ever turn the TV off."
She can be drunk by 11 a.m. She can go through a bottle of wine or vodka in a day, easy -- and start looking around for more. And when she gets a good buzz on, she won't shut up.
When she's really hungover, she spends all day in her room and never makes a sound.
She sometimes creeps around the house like a drug addict, sneaking in and out so no one can ever tell when she leaves or returns. Sometimes she leaves the TV turned up to cover the sound of her sneaking out. Sometimes she leaves just before my roommate gets home from work -- maybe so she won't have to deal with him...?
She's stolen money from my roommate three times. Last winter, a $1,000 electrical generator was stolen out of the back yard when she was the only person in the house -- she claims she never heard a thing. For awhile, I was constantly carrying my laptop and checkbook with me, because I don't trust her. I'm still carrying the laptop -- it's too easy to grab and go pawn-off.
My roommate has threatened to leave all of her stuff out on the front porch, has threatened to haul all her belongings to the dump. He wants her to go back to school, get her GED, go to college.
She'd rather stay home, get drunk, and stare at the TV.
My roommate drinks too, and when they're both drunk, it's something to see. She'll call his name every few minutes about something, and he'll snap at her. When he's REALLY hammered he calls her every name in the book. They can sit on the couch for hours sniping at each other.
She's never around on weekends, because she's out partying with someone else, people we don't know about and have never met.
She's young enough to be his daughter.
What I want to know is What does he get from this "relationship."
When he's drunk, my roommate can talk for HOURS about all the people in his life who have screwed him -- from his parents and his family to his co-workers to his roommates. EVERYBODY'S out to screw him over.
And he must have a real martyr complex, because he's setting himself up to be screwed again.
When I ask what he gets from her, all he says is "It's better than being alone."
No. There are lots of things that are worse than being alone. One of them is being stuck with someone who doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you.
I've told my roommate he's being used, and he just blows it off. He's in denial. Unless he's really drunk, and then it comes out in the ugliest possible ways. He knows what's going on....
When they get after each other, I usually go hide in my room and try to ignore them. Sometimes it's like they want me there to play referee. I won't do it. They argue anyway, and sometimes I don't get much sleep.
But there's been no violence, so far. Lots of yelling and abuse, but no violence.
Everybody has issues, but Jesus. After seeing these two go at it, I'm surprised anyone ever gets close to anybody, anymore. Do they think this crap is "Normal"?
What do women want? What do men want?
It's hard enough trying to figure out what I want.

#661: Dating After 50 (Part 2)

OK, to recap....
The Fast One was a REALLY great kisser. But she was Crazy -- & Not in a Good Way. & the main reasons she seemed to want a guy around were for money & emotional support.
The Slow One was a nice person, but there was a lot of Mystery workin' there. One Winter night she actually called ME at work, which she NEVER did, & said -- out of the blue -- that she'd "really love to have a warm body to cuddle up with on these cold nights."
Bing-bing-BING! I gently offered to come right over after I closed the store ... but she said she didn't want that. I never really figured out what she DID want....
The 28-year-old disappeared after she came into the store one busy night & I wasn't absolutely overjoyed to see her. Besides, she had guys Her Own Age to chase after. Before that, she'd started showing me pictures of them that they'd sent to her cellphone....
Somewhere in the middle of this, an old friend kept popping up unexpectedly. She was also Just My Type, & a little closer to My Age, just passing 40. I thought she was gorgeous, & a lot of fun to talk with.
& even though her daughter's birthday inspired from me the first piece of comedy-fiction I'd written in YEARS as a birthday present -- they read it & laughed 'til they cried -- even that wasn't enough to win her over.
She finally told me very gently that -- even though she liked me -- I was WAY down her list of eligible men.
After these failures, I backed off for a bit. Like, 2 years. I started wondering if there was something wrong with me, if I expected too much, if I was misreading women. I'm famous for over-reacting, getting things wrong, making Something out of Nothing.
So I cooled off for awhile, gave up, kept to myself -- read & listened to music & wrote on this blog, & felt fairly happy. I thought I was doing OK. Maybe I was a little lonely sometimes, but I got to the point where I didn't obsess about it. In fact, I tried not to think about it at all. I thought My Life Was Good.
Maybe I was wrong. My roommate -- who had to put up with me through this -- told me at one point that I was being "insufferable." & that's a big word for him.
So I got brave, looked at my bank account, & took the plunge. I joined Match.com.
It was a fun experience, & a real eye-opener. I was only on Match for 2 months -- long enough to get WAY cynical about it. Even got a blog post out of it -- look up "2 months on Match.com!", it's worth the trouble, lotsa laughs.
I was on long enough that my Match profile/bio turned into a satire of all the women's bios I'd been reading -- poking fun at the laundry-list of requirements they had for a guy. Sure, I wanted a financially-secure, romantic, emotionally-stable, passionate mate who enjoyed long romantic walks on a moonlit beach -- who wouldn't want THAT? But the Reality was....
I was in my last couple weeks on Match when a woman walked into my work & introduced herself -- as I'd urged brave women to do in my bio, because I thought I came across better in person than in a photo.
Problem was, I didn't know who she was. Match had sent my bio to her, but I hadn't seen her profile.
She got all embarrassed -- but I told her not to be, that it was All Good & maybe we'd talk more....
I went home that night & checked Match & there she was. We e-mailed each other, & agreed to meet for coffee & talk. We met again for coffee a couple nights later, then agreed to have a picnic on my next day off -- pretty brave planning for Western Washington in the Spring.
& we've been together pretty-much ever since. That's been over a year, now.
At first it was nice just having someone new to talk with. Then it became obvious that we were very much alike in our interests & temperaments & OCD-ness. ...& then we started finishing each other's sentences. & calling each other at the same time. & making each other laugh 'til we cry. & all that other gooshy stuff that happens when you start Falling for someone.
We're very comfortable with each other, & at my age that means a lot. It hasn't been perfect, exactly. We've both got weird work schedules, & we're both a bit of a challenge to live with. There have been a couple bumpy spots along the way, but not as many as I'd expected, & nothing really Major. Mainly, I think, because the new girlfriend is a grown-up. She's very steady. That makes a big difference.
This could happen to you, too. Don't give up.
But watch out for the Crazies....

#660: Dating After 50 (Part 1)

It's a jungle out there.
After the end of my last long-term Relationship (10 years), I was actually kind of excited about meeting somebody new. But I didn't realize how weird things had gotten since the last time I went out on a date.
I went through 5 years of scaring women off, meeting & going out with women who were Obviously Wrong for me, even joining a dating website before I finally met someone who was Right for me -- by accident. & so far we've been together for over a year.
Once I became Available again, I made two obvious mistakes: I was a little too obvious & desperate. & I asked out just about any woman who seemed even mildly interested.
This led to 3 women in a row saying yes, they'd go out with me -- & then they vanished, never to be seen or heard from again. I got the message. I didn't like scaring women off, so I then became perhaps overly cautious.
Which led to me going on dates with one woman who was way too SLOW for me ... & another who was way too FAST. WAY too fast.
The Fast One was an impulse, A Date Of Opportunity, because I realized it had been too long since I'd actually said the words "Do you want to go out?" & she'd just broken up with her boyfriend, so she was easy pickins. But I paid for it....
"So, what's up?" I asked. "Oh," she said, "I just got done kickin' my old boyfriend to the curb." "Well, you need to go out with ME, then!" DONE!
We went out a couple times for a midnight snack, & she always left abruptly, as if she was scared of being followed. Nothing happened. Wasn't sure I WANTED anything to. She seemed a little crazy. Maybe more than a little. So I wrote her off.
Months later, she showed up at my job just as I was closing up. As I locked the front door, she ran up and kissed me on the cheek. "I want to go out with you RIGHT NOW," she said in a breathless rush. "I want you to drive MY car -- & you're gonna Get Lucky tonight 'cos I'm not wearing ANY PANTIES!"
Uh ... Oh ... Kay....
Survived that. But I learned what the game was pretty quick, because she'd only show up out of the blue, without any warning, whenever she needed emotional support or gas money to go see her son in Seattle. Eventually she just drifted away. Thank Ghod.
The Slow One was a couple years older than me, had been alone for 5 years, & said she'd gotten used to men not noticing her. She told me up-front she wanted me "to do all the work" -- call her, figure out things for us to do together, do all the driving, etc. We agreed to get together to check-out second-hand stores, have coffee, maybe go to a movie now & then. We agreed we'd be friends, not rush.
We went out a few times, had some laughs, were pretty relaxed with each other -- but after 3 months of seeing each other every couple weeks we had maybe gently pressed our lips together twice. Things were moving very slowly. We weren't learning much about each other. The conversation dragged. There was a LOT that wasn't being said.
& she wouldn't return phonecalls. After 9 p.m. she wouldn't even ANSWER her phone.
The End came when she got us movie matinee passes & I asked if she wanted me to put my arm around her in case the movie got scary.
"You just keep your arm to yourself," she said. Boom.
Then she COMPLETELY stopped answering her phone.
Too bad. She was a nice person, even if she was a little ... slow ....
There was a 28-year-old I met at work & went out with a couple times. She was My Type -- long dark hair, a few extra pounds in the right places, & she went on&ON about how she LOVED to come into the store when I was working. So I asked her out. I figured she was being pretty obvious.
I didn't realize how young she was until we were out drinking coffee & trying to cover the basics. Then I learned she was almost young enough to be my daughter.
I was uneasy, but kind of flattered because I thought she was HOT -- & very open in her conversation, which was also attractive.
But I noticed that as we sat there talking in the cafe, she looked at EVERY GUY who walked by, & that's when it hit me:
She was just Passing Time with The Old Guy until The Right Guy came along. Once that was clear to me, she wasn't so hot anymore.

(To Be Continued....)

#551: 2 months on Match.com!

Maybe it woulda gone better if I'd posted a photo quicker.
On the other hand, that mighta made it worse....
Awhile back I decided maybe I wasn't dead after all (romantically speaking), that I'd probly never get all my Issues with my old girlfriend cleared-up 2 my complete satisfaction, & that I was probly lonelier than I'd ever admit.
So after shopping around 4 a bit, I decided 2 put myself out there & joined Match.com, an on-line dating website.
I was XTREMELY nervous about this, so I joined 4 a month at a time, which cost me more. I ended up spending $70 I couldn't really afford, but I learned some things.
I learned that on-line dating has as many rules & points of etiquette as Real Life. That it's just as complicated. That there's just as much mystery & missed connections & questions. There's probly just as much lying 2, but I didn't Xperience that part -- I don't think....
I didn't get 2 meet anybody in Real Life, I didn't go out on a date, it was never even close. At the end of 2 months I gave up, Bcos it never got any better. I was warned not 2 get my hopes up 2 high -- that women dating on-line were liable 2 B REALLY cautious. They WERE, & I don't blame them.
I Xchanged e-mails with 4 or 5 very nice women. But it never went anywhere. They mostly decided I was not the guy for them, & that's fine. I decided 1 woman definitely was not the right gal 4 me.
Any mess-ups were entirely my fault.
I made 1 BIG mess-up early:
It took me A MONTH 2 post a photo.
This is probly the single most important thing I learned: I am a COMPUTER IDIOT. Obviously I know enuf about computers 2 get in trouble with them -- but it took me A MONTH 2 figure out how the webcam on my laptop could be used 2 take photos. It was staring me right in the face the whole time, but I couldn't find my way in2 it, couldn't figure out how 2 access it. When a friend finally showed me how -- & it took less than 10 seconds -- I felt like a complete high-tech moron.
By then the damage was probly already done. I'd had a good time writing a personal profile 4 the site, listing my likes & hopes & dreams & preferences.
But then I learned lotsa women won't respond or even notice a guy who doesn't post a photo. Not fair, but there it is. So I was kinda in a panic about that. I can see how posting a photo lets the ladies out there know that you're not really The Elephant Man ... & on-line dating is all about looks & mutual interests & chemistry, etc. So....
So I finally got a photo posted a month in2 the Xperience -- & then women in my area learned that ... I REALLY DO LOOK LIKE THE ELEPHANT MAN! With a photo posted, I had more women looking at my profile -- at least 2wice as many! ... but fewer women seemed intrested in e-mailing/talking.
By then I had noticed other things about the dating site that struck me as funny, & I updated my profile 2 make note of them. This was probly a bad mistake. But I was trying 2 impress the ladies with my wacky sense of humor, don't ya know. Probly shoulda backed off on that 1, but it's 2 late now....
Like, 4 instance: 90 percent of the women on the site woulda LOVED romantic walks on the beach with an attractive, financially-secure, emotionally-available, passionate mate who Doesn't Play Games.
Well, WHO DOESN'T? But how many of them R available?
So I sorta made fun of that, & then talked about the Reality -- which is 2 say, me.
Tried 2 keep the laffs going: "I've got a job, so I won't be begging you for money!"
"Never been arrested! Haven't had a traffic ticket since 1980!"
"Don't smoke! Don't drink! Nothing stronger than coffee!"
"Boring! Quiet! Loyal as a puppy dog!"
I really tried 2 sell it, such as it is. I was probly a little TOO honest.
1 very nice woman said she absolutely loved my profile -- it made her laff a lot. But she was looking 4 some1 whose income she could retire on....
Hey, I'm looking 4 some1 whose income I CAN RETIRE ON, 2.... Can't really blame her, I guess.
1 of the neat things about dating sites is that every day they point you toward profiles -- little autobiographies -- of folks they think you might B compatible with, based on yer intrests, likes & dislikes, etc. At 1st I was fascinated by those profiles. Some of them were VERY intimate, like reading poetry. Some of these women had obviously thot about what they wanted quite a lot....
Then the profiles started getting kinda same-y. EVERYBODY wants romantic walks on the beach with an attractive, financially-secure etc. etc. etc....
I started skimming the profiles. I stopped bothering 2 read profiles written by women whose photos made them look older than my mother. I stopped reading profiles that had misspelled words in them -- yes, ME, having issues with bad spelling! I KNOW! Unfair, impatient, uncaring -- but true.
Some of the profiles were actually 2 sad 2 read. More than 1 Asian lady wrote that they wanted -- I PROMISE I'm NOT making this up -- "A nice man. Man who don't drink too much. Man who don't smoke too much. Man who not yell. Man who not angry all time. Man who don't want sex first thing. That not first thing I want."
I felt sorry for those women. I thot they painted a real clear picture of what their previous relationships were like -- of what A LOT of relationships seem 2 B like these days....
Don't get me wrong -- it was a fun Xperiment. I might even go back 4 more. But I coulda bought a lot of books & music 4 $70, so I think I might just rely on Reality 2 meet new women from now on.
Dating sites R full of people (women, at least) who still believe in The Myth Of Love -- in Chemistry, in Meeting The Right One, The Love Who Will Last Forever.
Hell, I still believe in all that. At least I WANT to. I probly shouldn't have made fun of it. Even in the intrest of Keeping Things Light.
Because Life doesn't get much more Personal than that.