Another wonderful weekend. On Monday, took all the music I was bored with and all the books I'm fed up with or will never finish reading (have a real attention-span problem with fiction right now) to Half-Price Books in Tacoma and turned it all in for cash. There wasn't actually that much to turn in, just a box-full, hardly anything compared to previous trips. And though the place was jammed -- everybody in town seemed to have the same idea, and the buy-counter was piled high with trade-ins -- it was worth the trip. Even found half a dozen good cheap vinyl albums in Half-Price's $1-or-less Clearance bin. There are some real bargains in there, if you don't mind digging and maybe getting a little dirty. However, the pickin's in the full-price music bins were kinda thin....
Then took the cash to Tacoma's Hi-Voltage Records, still my favorite record store despite their occasionally OUTRAGEOUS prices. They hadn't updated their bargain bin since the last time we were there (a week ago) -- but out in the big (and expensive) vinyl room, they had several boxes full of $3 jazz albums, and I found a few spacey things in there -- Return to Forever, Stomu Yamashta, etc.
After that, started going through the expensive-vinyl bins, which I still haven't picked clean of stuff I can afford. But the PRICES! FIFTY BUCKS for a vinyl copy of Miles Davis's LIVE EVIL?! Man, is someone gonna be disappointed. $30 for Miles's ON THE CORNER? Sure it was ahead of its time, but.... I also discovered that if I ever want to pay off the mortgage, copies of Gryphon's five imported albums run from $25 to $35. But I'm not giving mine up.
(One of the guys at Hi-Voltage's competitor a mile down the street, Golden Oldies, agreed that Hi's prices are sometimes off the charts, but he added that "If you're looking for something a little off-the-wall, there's a pretty good chance that you'll find it there." "But at what scary price?" I asked. Golden Oldies has VERY reasonable prices ... but you can browse through everything in the store in 15 minutes or less.)
Did find a few things. First two Byrds albums packaged together for $13 -- a bargain, considering they were selling separately for $15 each. First two Kansas albums cheap. Argent's first. Couple Anthony Phillips solo albums (early guitarist for Genesis). Journey's DREAM AFTER DREAM, Kayak's STARLIGHT DANCER, Jethro Tull's BROADSWORD AND THE BEAST, The Nice's ARS LONGA VITA BREVIS. Renaissance's AZURE D'OR for less than $6. (Really Bad Prog will be making its return soon.)
On the way home, listened to a blues album The Girlfriend found -- Bob Margolin's DOWN IN THE ALLEY. Some pretty rockin' stuff on there, with excellent guitar and piano work: "Boogie at Midnight" is straight out of the '50s, "Tough Times" is funny, "While You're Down There" is mildly raunchy and funny, and maybe best of all "Boston Driving Blues," which is about how tough you have to be to drive in Boston. Hilarious. I don't remember "All Blues" ever playing THAT.
After getting back home (and much of Tuesday), put some of this new stuff on the stereo. Argent's "Dance in the Smoke" is pretty freaking awesome, with a great build-up. It was so good I played it a couple more times over the evening. Best new music I've heard recently. Their "Liar" isn't too far off from Three Dog Night's cover version, either. I continue to think these guys were underrated.
Anthony Phillips's work on THE GEESE AND THE GHOST and PRIVATE PARTS AND PIECES seems to be mostly low-key guitar works, pleasant but very quiet. I had hopes for a piece called "Tibetan Yak-Music," but it turned out to be a 12-string showcase, pretty and very inoffensive. Nice background music.
The Byrds' "The World Turns All Around Her" still sounds great, and I tried a few other things I hadn't heard before -- "Oh Susanna" is kinda funny, and "Don't Doubt Yourself, Babe" is fun (all the hardships you go through just make you prettier, gorgeous). But I couldn't take "We'll Meet Again" -- had to put on The Turtles' version right afterward to wash the Byrds' downbeat version away.
The first side of Genesis's NURSERY CRYME is pretty cool -- Peter Gabriel makes a good Creepy Old Man in "The Musical Box." "Return of the Giant Hogweed" is also fun -- but they were very show-offy here. I was also surprised by how clear the production was. Much less muddy than I expected. Wonder what happened on FOXTROT?
Continuing with Peter Gabriel, both "D.I.Y." and "On the Air" from PG2 are interesting -- what surprised me most on these PG tracks was I didn't mind his voice. Maybe I'm getting over it, finally.
For contrast, turned to two tracks from Genesis's ABACAB -- "Like it or Not" and "Keep it Dark," which I hadn't heard in awhile. "Like it or Not" now sounds like a blueprint for Phil Collins's whole solo career -- strange that bassist Mike Rutherford wrote it....
Then turned to Jethro Tull. The Girlfriend has a block about Tull almost as big as her block with The Beatles. But she survived "the good parts version" of SONGS FROM THE WOOD (title song, "Ring Out Solstice Bells," "The Whistler," "Fire at Midnight" and -- yes, for contrast -- "Pibroch") edited by yours truly, and she didn't complain when I followed it up with Side 2 of MINSTREL IN THE GALLERY. Of course she was blogging and maybe a little distracted by then....
I finished off with Tangerine Dream's "Monolight" from ENCORE -- still sounds great. I gotta get some more of their stuff....
(On a previous trip to Hi-Voltage, found a two-CD best-of by English folkie John Martyn -- SWEET LITTLE MYSTERIES -- that was worth $12. Despite that he was an old buddy of Nick Drake's, I'd never heard Martyn before. "May You Never" and "Solid Air" are especially nice, I like his smokey voice and sometimes-slurred vocals, and there's a nice long guitar instrumental, "Glistening Glyndebourne." There is also more nice vocal stuff that may take more listenings. Some of the later stuff gets so jazzy it almost loses form, and by the time I got to the title song, I thought John could fit in on '80s adult-contemporary radio....)
Of course, all this listening is going toward finishing that Strange Music book I've been writing in my head for 20-some years. More updates will be coming in the near-future.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Friday, August 26, 2016
An Interruption In Service
Jeez, where to start?
WORK: First 2 nights of Marathon 4 have gone very smoothly. No complaints from me. And at least the AC is still working, as it remains hot here -- in the mid-to-upper 90s. The Girlfriend has me relaxed and thinking about work differently. Like it's OK if I can't fix something in the next 30 seconds, maybe the world won't end. Only 10 more nights to go. And at least two of those 10-hour nights will be ALL OVERTIME....
MOVING: It's Official. I will be completely moved-in with The Girlfriend on Labor Day. Talked it over with The Old Roommate -- he knew it was coming, wasn't surprised, even had a replacement already lined-up. I'm ecstatic, and The Girlfriend is thrilled, and this is actually going to happen within our lifetime. I know where I want to be, and it's right here. The Old Roommate even offered to let me use his truck so I can get the move done all at once, rather than carting a few boxes over now and then and fighting with the furniture. He's really a pretty great guy. Life is really good. I'm so happy I hardly know what to complain about....
TRIP: Portland is the Future! Well, maybe not, but it was a great break -- and I brought back a TON of CD's and a half-ton of books, all of which I'll probably be reporting on here, eventually. Powell's really IS the biggest bookstore I've ever seen, and within an hour I'd easily blown my modest budget.
Also visited one very nice CD shop -- Everyday Music, somewhere on Portland's west side -- and could easily have spent the rest of my life THERE, too.
There were lots of other things I liked about Portland: The pace somehow seems much slower there, MUCH slower than the Seattle area. In two days, I didn't see a single instance of road rage, horns honking, people screaming at each other, anyone driving anyone else off the road, etc. -- stuff I pretty much take for granted in this neighborhood. When we were stuck on the freeway in 90-degree heat, it was just The Girlfriend and I who were getting cranky. And a break for dinner took care of that.
I'm not naive -- there were a number of homeless people, but they weren't aggressive like they are here -- I wasn't held up for spare change. I only saw one meth freak, at the end of the second day, who began shouting threats for no reason and was immediately bounced from the restaurant we were sitting in ... and 10 seconds later the police arrived. I was impressed. It seemed almost ... civilized, there.
I'm not an idiot about stuff like this. And I can be miserable anywhere. But it sure was a nice break. Just getting out of town for awhile maybe did me more good than my vacation awhile back. I sure am relaxed, now. I'm hoping it lasts....
LOVE: Well, it's freakin' great. I have never felt so relaxed and at-ease with anyone, a woman who really GETS me, who has many of the same interests and obsessions, even some of the same hang-ups. We can talk for HOURS and laugh like loons and it's freakin' great. It seems like we've always known each other. She's my best friend. We've been seeing each other for four months -- together pretty-much 24/7 for the last three, and there hasn't been a cross, angry, ugly word between us. So THIS is what all those lovesongs were talkin' about. I recommend it heavily. Five stars.
WORK: First 2 nights of Marathon 4 have gone very smoothly. No complaints from me. And at least the AC is still working, as it remains hot here -- in the mid-to-upper 90s. The Girlfriend has me relaxed and thinking about work differently. Like it's OK if I can't fix something in the next 30 seconds, maybe the world won't end. Only 10 more nights to go. And at least two of those 10-hour nights will be ALL OVERTIME....
MOVING: It's Official. I will be completely moved-in with The Girlfriend on Labor Day. Talked it over with The Old Roommate -- he knew it was coming, wasn't surprised, even had a replacement already lined-up. I'm ecstatic, and The Girlfriend is thrilled, and this is actually going to happen within our lifetime. I know where I want to be, and it's right here. The Old Roommate even offered to let me use his truck so I can get the move done all at once, rather than carting a few boxes over now and then and fighting with the furniture. He's really a pretty great guy. Life is really good. I'm so happy I hardly know what to complain about....
TRIP: Portland is the Future! Well, maybe not, but it was a great break -- and I brought back a TON of CD's and a half-ton of books, all of which I'll probably be reporting on here, eventually. Powell's really IS the biggest bookstore I've ever seen, and within an hour I'd easily blown my modest budget.
Also visited one very nice CD shop -- Everyday Music, somewhere on Portland's west side -- and could easily have spent the rest of my life THERE, too.
There were lots of other things I liked about Portland: The pace somehow seems much slower there, MUCH slower than the Seattle area. In two days, I didn't see a single instance of road rage, horns honking, people screaming at each other, anyone driving anyone else off the road, etc. -- stuff I pretty much take for granted in this neighborhood. When we were stuck on the freeway in 90-degree heat, it was just The Girlfriend and I who were getting cranky. And a break for dinner took care of that.
I'm not naive -- there were a number of homeless people, but they weren't aggressive like they are here -- I wasn't held up for spare change. I only saw one meth freak, at the end of the second day, who began shouting threats for no reason and was immediately bounced from the restaurant we were sitting in ... and 10 seconds later the police arrived. I was impressed. It seemed almost ... civilized, there.
I'm not an idiot about stuff like this. And I can be miserable anywhere. But it sure was a nice break. Just getting out of town for awhile maybe did me more good than my vacation awhile back. I sure am relaxed, now. I'm hoping it lasts....
LOVE: Well, it's freakin' great. I have never felt so relaxed and at-ease with anyone, a woman who really GETS me, who has many of the same interests and obsessions, even some of the same hang-ups. We can talk for HOURS and laugh like loons and it's freakin' great. It seems like we've always known each other. She's my best friend. We've been seeing each other for four months -- together pretty-much 24/7 for the last three, and there hasn't been a cross, angry, ugly word between us. So THIS is what all those lovesongs were talkin' about. I recommend it heavily. Five stars.
Friday, July 1, 2016
Love rocks!
On the other hand, there's The Good Stuff.
I'm in love with a wonderful woman, and it's awesome. Literally. I'm just stunned at how great it feels. Sometimes I have to step back and take a breath.
She's shocked, too. She says it's like looking in a mirror. We see each other. We GET each other. We're a lot alike. And it's great. It feels like we've known each other for years.
We go hit Goodwills and CD stores and used book stores together. We wander through antique malls and flea markets and look for overlooked great stuff. She loves that I like to "go junkin'." Over the weekend, when we were thinking about making our usual second-hand-store stops, she said "Yeah, let's go play." That summed it up. And we went.
The most boring, normal, everyday stuff is special now because I'm with someone who makes it magic.
It's silly, but the gloppiest, most romantic lovesongs all ring true to me now. They all make sense.
I've got it bad.
She says she's listening to music in a different way now, because of me. We have some common ground -- we agree on how amazingly great Aretha Franklin and Al Green are.
This past weekend, she bought a Three Dog Night best-of, and we were driving through the streets of nearby Bremerton with the music turned up, me screaming along with "One Man Band" (which I hadn't heard in YEARS, sounded GREAT) and "Celebrate" and "Try a Little Tenderness," murmuring along with "Out in the Country" and "Easy to be Hard," and joining in on the choruses while she be-bopped to "Joy to the World" (silliest song to ever sell six million copies, including one to 12-year-old me).
And it was perfect.
I was getting pretty grim awhile back, thinking that Life Sucked and nothing made me happy.
And then along comes this surprise gift from God.
And I am humbled and grateful and I don't know what to say.
Don't give up. This could happen to you.
I'm in love with a wonderful woman, and it's awesome. Literally. I'm just stunned at how great it feels. Sometimes I have to step back and take a breath.
She's shocked, too. She says it's like looking in a mirror. We see each other. We GET each other. We're a lot alike. And it's great. It feels like we've known each other for years.
We go hit Goodwills and CD stores and used book stores together. We wander through antique malls and flea markets and look for overlooked great stuff. She loves that I like to "go junkin'." Over the weekend, when we were thinking about making our usual second-hand-store stops, she said "Yeah, let's go play." That summed it up. And we went.
The most boring, normal, everyday stuff is special now because I'm with someone who makes it magic.
It's silly, but the gloppiest, most romantic lovesongs all ring true to me now. They all make sense.
I've got it bad.
She says she's listening to music in a different way now, because of me. We have some common ground -- we agree on how amazingly great Aretha Franklin and Al Green are.
This past weekend, she bought a Three Dog Night best-of, and we were driving through the streets of nearby Bremerton with the music turned up, me screaming along with "One Man Band" (which I hadn't heard in YEARS, sounded GREAT) and "Celebrate" and "Try a Little Tenderness," murmuring along with "Out in the Country" and "Easy to be Hard," and joining in on the choruses while she be-bopped to "Joy to the World" (silliest song to ever sell six million copies, including one to 12-year-old me).
And it was perfect.
I was getting pretty grim awhile back, thinking that Life Sucked and nothing made me happy.
And then along comes this surprise gift from God.
And I am humbled and grateful and I don't know what to say.
Don't give up. This could happen to you.
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Dealing with The Beagles
(Or: The six essential Eagles songs.)
The new girlfriend and I have only a couple of problems so far.
She doesn't have much use for the Beatles.
And I have a big blind spot when it comes to the Eagles.
She says the Eagles were the greatest American rock group ever.
Better than Creedence?, I ask. And how about the Beach Boys?
She insists that HELL FREEZES OVER is one of the great albums of our time.
And I counter that I'm only likely to listen to it when hell freezes over.
However, the Eagles do pass my "Reason For Being Here" Test musically -- they do have half a dozen songs that I'd find it difficult to get along without. These are:
Peaceful Easy Feeling, James Dean, Outlaw Man, Seven Bridges Road, I Can't Tell You Why, The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks.
I find it hard to recommend any of the others. Though they do have more great songs than Nirvana.
However, greatness is relative. Perhaps we should discuss some of their misses....
* Many Eagles songs died long ago from overplay. "Hotel California" is Exhibit A. But also "Take it Easy," "New Kid in Town," "Best of My Love," "One of These Nights," "Lyin' Eyes," "Life in the Fast Lane," "Already Gone," "The Long Run," "Heartache Tonight," "Take it to the Limit," etc.
* They have more than their share of women problems ("Take it Easy," "Lyin' Eyes," "New Kid in Town," "Heartache Tonight," "Already Gone," "Fast Lane," etc).
* Their only lasting friendships are with men ("James Dean," "Desperado," many others).
* Then there's the whole cocaine undercurrent (THE LONG RUN, "Life in the Fast Lane," etc).
* They can be a little vague. What is "Take it to the Limit" ABOUT? And does anyone CARE? How 'bout "Hotel California"? And then there's "Desperado," which I stopped being able to hear YEARS ago....
* I keep hearing other bands in the Eagles' work -- the Byrds' country-rock phase, Buffalo Springfield, Poco. Timothy Schmit, who wrote "I Can't Tell You Why," was in Poco. So was Randy Meisner.
* I don't like how they kept ditching members of the band so it could become more and more the Don Henley and Glenn Frey show. Meisner, Bernie Leadon and later on Don Felder fell by the wayside -- then to beef up the guitars they drafted Joe Walsh. Producer Glyn Johns said in an interview in MUSICIAN back in the '80s that the Eagles were always The Don and Glenn Show, and the longer it went on, the more those two crowded everybody else out. And he was right. Felder even sued, then wrote a book about the whole mess. Don't sound like a good work environment to me.
* The Eagles could do nice mood music -- "Seven Bridges Road," "I Can't Tell You Why," "Peaceful Easy Feeling." But then they'd throw a "Witchy Woman" atcha. That was OK the first few times, but after that....
* I like "Greeks Don't Want No Freaks" because it's FUNNY. It was a shock to me that they actually knew how to crack a joke. They shoulda got their sense of humor out more often. "Disco Strangler" (also on LONG RUN) should have been funny, but it wasn't. Boy, was it wasn't.
* Then there's the whole allegedly laid-back Southern California mindset, dealt with way too often on tracks like "Fast Lane," "The Sad Cafe," "The Last Resort," "Hotel California," etc. So laid back we can't even crawl out of our beds to express our lethargy and disgust. Very SoCal, man. Sure marks the era.
Maybe it was all just bad PR. Perhaps I'm overdoing it. Wouldn't be the first time.
Any advice? Can this relationship be saved?
NEXT TARGET: Tom Petty!
The new girlfriend and I have only a couple of problems so far.
She doesn't have much use for the Beatles.
And I have a big blind spot when it comes to the Eagles.
She says the Eagles were the greatest American rock group ever.
Better than Creedence?, I ask. And how about the Beach Boys?
She insists that HELL FREEZES OVER is one of the great albums of our time.
And I counter that I'm only likely to listen to it when hell freezes over.
However, the Eagles do pass my "Reason For Being Here" Test musically -- they do have half a dozen songs that I'd find it difficult to get along without. These are:
Peaceful Easy Feeling, James Dean, Outlaw Man, Seven Bridges Road, I Can't Tell You Why, The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks.
I find it hard to recommend any of the others. Though they do have more great songs than Nirvana.
However, greatness is relative. Perhaps we should discuss some of their misses....
* Many Eagles songs died long ago from overplay. "Hotel California" is Exhibit A. But also "Take it Easy," "New Kid in Town," "Best of My Love," "One of These Nights," "Lyin' Eyes," "Life in the Fast Lane," "Already Gone," "The Long Run," "Heartache Tonight," "Take it to the Limit," etc.
* They have more than their share of women problems ("Take it Easy," "Lyin' Eyes," "New Kid in Town," "Heartache Tonight," "Already Gone," "Fast Lane," etc).
* Their only lasting friendships are with men ("James Dean," "Desperado," many others).
* Then there's the whole cocaine undercurrent (THE LONG RUN, "Life in the Fast Lane," etc).
* They can be a little vague. What is "Take it to the Limit" ABOUT? And does anyone CARE? How 'bout "Hotel California"? And then there's "Desperado," which I stopped being able to hear YEARS ago....
* I keep hearing other bands in the Eagles' work -- the Byrds' country-rock phase, Buffalo Springfield, Poco. Timothy Schmit, who wrote "I Can't Tell You Why," was in Poco. So was Randy Meisner.
* I don't like how they kept ditching members of the band so it could become more and more the Don Henley and Glenn Frey show. Meisner, Bernie Leadon and later on Don Felder fell by the wayside -- then to beef up the guitars they drafted Joe Walsh. Producer Glyn Johns said in an interview in MUSICIAN back in the '80s that the Eagles were always The Don and Glenn Show, and the longer it went on, the more those two crowded everybody else out. And he was right. Felder even sued, then wrote a book about the whole mess. Don't sound like a good work environment to me.
* The Eagles could do nice mood music -- "Seven Bridges Road," "I Can't Tell You Why," "Peaceful Easy Feeling." But then they'd throw a "Witchy Woman" atcha. That was OK the first few times, but after that....
* I like "Greeks Don't Want No Freaks" because it's FUNNY. It was a shock to me that they actually knew how to crack a joke. They shoulda got their sense of humor out more often. "Disco Strangler" (also on LONG RUN) should have been funny, but it wasn't. Boy, was it wasn't.
* Then there's the whole allegedly laid-back Southern California mindset, dealt with way too often on tracks like "Fast Lane," "The Sad Cafe," "The Last Resort," "Hotel California," etc. So laid back we can't even crawl out of our beds to express our lethargy and disgust. Very SoCal, man. Sure marks the era.
Maybe it was all just bad PR. Perhaps I'm overdoing it. Wouldn't be the first time.
Any advice? Can this relationship be saved?
NEXT TARGET: Tom Petty!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Made in heaven 2
About the time last week when I was bitching here about my roommate(s), they had a fight. Sort of.
Turns out my roommate went to pick up his girlfriend(?) from her mother's house nearby. The GF had gotten in a fight with her mom and was SCREAMING over the phone. When my roommate showed up, the screaming was still going on, the GF climbed in the car raving about what a psychotic bitch her mother was. My roommate told his GF she was wrong, her mom WASN'T a psycho bitch -- and the GF SCRATCHED DOWN THE SIDE OF HIS FACE AS HE'S DRIVING HER BACK TO HIS HOUSE.
They didn't plunge into a ditch and die because of his injuries, everything's fine. But now my roommate has a big bloody scar down his forehead and the side of his nose -- and his GF is STILL in the house, though she hasn't said a WORD for DAYS.
It took four days before my roommate even filled me in on what the hell happened.
So: All my original questions remain. What the hell is he getting out of this "relationship"? And does she live in the house or not? Beats me.
Ah well, Love Is Strange, right?
I have failed to get into two consecutive music-related novels. Stanley Elkin's THE DICK GIBSON SHOW (1971) was supposedly a brilliant novel about a radio talk-show host, but it was way too strange. Lots of odd verbal riffs, nothing much in the story or character-building department. I gave up after 50 pages.
I had some hopes for Garrison Keillor's RADIO ROMANCE (1993). I read his LAKE WOEBEGONE DAYS back in the '90s and remembered it as cute and folksy and funny, though I don't remember a single thing about what HAPPENS in the book.
RADIO ROMANCE is cute and folksy and funny -- but somehow that isn't enough. I got 100 pages in and skimmed some cute later bits, but it's a 400-page novel.
RADIO ROMANCE did inspire me to try to re-write my newspaper memoir as a small-town-comedy novel. I've even got a title for it: THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. I'll keep you posted.
If you want to know what great radio was like, go read Marc Fisher's beautifully-written SOMETHING IN THE AIR.
Haven't made it to Tacoma with that load of music and books to sell yet -- maybe next week.
Am wishing I had more soul/R&B on CD. Am missing Aretha, Al Green, etc.
Spent most of the past two nights at work playing Madness -- their ULTIMATE COLLECTION is pretty great. I love the sax and the vocals and the bounciness. "Embarrassment," "Our House," "Baggy Trousers," "My Girl" and "One Step Beyond" are all classics, and the rest is growing on me. And I'm trying to figure out where the HELL I heard "Wings of a Dove" before.... Some movie...?
If you're REALLY desperate for more reviews, I've posted a bunch of new ones at Amazon.com since the winter -- I've got more than 100 reviews posted there now. All the recent ones have been in Real English. Look up something like Marc Fisher's SOMETHING IN THE AIR, Ramsey Campbell's PROBABLY, or Peter Straub's SIDES, scroll down to the review section, click on the link that's my real name, and your computer should bring up all my other reviews, if you're really desperate. And if you ARE, Ghod bless you.
Cheers! More soon....
Turns out my roommate went to pick up his girlfriend(?) from her mother's house nearby. The GF had gotten in a fight with her mom and was SCREAMING over the phone. When my roommate showed up, the screaming was still going on, the GF climbed in the car raving about what a psychotic bitch her mother was. My roommate told his GF she was wrong, her mom WASN'T a psycho bitch -- and the GF SCRATCHED DOWN THE SIDE OF HIS FACE AS HE'S DRIVING HER BACK TO HIS HOUSE.
They didn't plunge into a ditch and die because of his injuries, everything's fine. But now my roommate has a big bloody scar down his forehead and the side of his nose -- and his GF is STILL in the house, though she hasn't said a WORD for DAYS.
It took four days before my roommate even filled me in on what the hell happened.
So: All my original questions remain. What the hell is he getting out of this "relationship"? And does she live in the house or not? Beats me.
Ah well, Love Is Strange, right?
I have failed to get into two consecutive music-related novels. Stanley Elkin's THE DICK GIBSON SHOW (1971) was supposedly a brilliant novel about a radio talk-show host, but it was way too strange. Lots of odd verbal riffs, nothing much in the story or character-building department. I gave up after 50 pages.
I had some hopes for Garrison Keillor's RADIO ROMANCE (1993). I read his LAKE WOEBEGONE DAYS back in the '90s and remembered it as cute and folksy and funny, though I don't remember a single thing about what HAPPENS in the book.
RADIO ROMANCE is cute and folksy and funny -- but somehow that isn't enough. I got 100 pages in and skimmed some cute later bits, but it's a 400-page novel.
RADIO ROMANCE did inspire me to try to re-write my newspaper memoir as a small-town-comedy novel. I've even got a title for it: THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. I'll keep you posted.
If you want to know what great radio was like, go read Marc Fisher's beautifully-written SOMETHING IN THE AIR.
Haven't made it to Tacoma with that load of music and books to sell yet -- maybe next week.
Am wishing I had more soul/R&B on CD. Am missing Aretha, Al Green, etc.
Spent most of the past two nights at work playing Madness -- their ULTIMATE COLLECTION is pretty great. I love the sax and the vocals and the bounciness. "Embarrassment," "Our House," "Baggy Trousers," "My Girl" and "One Step Beyond" are all classics, and the rest is growing on me. And I'm trying to figure out where the HELL I heard "Wings of a Dove" before.... Some movie...?
If you're REALLY desperate for more reviews, I've posted a bunch of new ones at Amazon.com since the winter -- I've got more than 100 reviews posted there now. All the recent ones have been in Real English. Look up something like Marc Fisher's SOMETHING IN THE AIR, Ramsey Campbell's PROBABLY, or Peter Straub's SIDES, scroll down to the review section, click on the link that's my real name, and your computer should bring up all my other reviews, if you're really desperate. And if you ARE, Ghod bless you.
Cheers! More soon....
Sunday, July 20, 2014
A marriage made in heaven
I have this roommate. My roommate has this girlfriend. Sort of.
Even though money is tight and we can barely feed ourselves and stay ahead of the bills, over the last few months my roommate has let his sort-of girlfriend move into the house, bringing all of her stuff with her, and taking over a bedroom my roommate could have rented-out for at least $300 or $400 per month.
My roommate is not being "a nice guy." He Wants Something from this sort-of relationship. And he's not getting it. She won't sleep with him. She always has some kind of lame excuse.
She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't have a job. She's technically homeless. She gets food-stamp money every month, and spends it at the nearest grocery store ... but she also has five little nieces and nephews that live nearby, and most of the food ends up going to them. And my roommate has to go pick them up when she wants to see them.
When she cooks, it's for the kids. She never cleans up after herself, no matter how big the mess. She won't do dishes.
When she's in the house, she always has the TV blaring -- even when she's asleep. A couple days back she noticed some of the old record albums I have stashed in my room -- Aretha, Al Green, THE MOTOWN STORY. "There's some great old stuff here," she said. "You should play some of it."
"I would," I said, "if you'd ever turn the TV off."
She can be drunk by 11 a.m. She can go through a bottle of wine or vodka in a day, easy -- and start looking around for more. And when she gets a good buzz on, she won't shut up.
When she's really hungover, she spends all day in her room and never makes a sound.
She sometimes creeps around the house like a drug addict, sneaking in and out so no one can ever tell when she leaves or returns. Sometimes she leaves the TV turned up to cover the sound of her sneaking out. Sometimes she leaves just before my roommate gets home from work -- maybe so she won't have to deal with him...?
She's stolen money from my roommate three times. Last winter, a $1,000 electrical generator was stolen out of the back yard when she was the only person in the house -- she claims she never heard a thing. For awhile, I was constantly carrying my laptop and checkbook with me, because I don't trust her. I'm still carrying the laptop -- it's too easy to grab and go pawn-off.
My roommate has threatened to leave all of her stuff out on the front porch, has threatened to haul all her belongings to the dump. He wants her to go back to school, get her GED, go to college.
She'd rather stay home, get drunk, and stare at the TV.
My roommate drinks too, and when they're both drunk, it's something to see. She'll call his name every few minutes about something, and he'll snap at her. When he's REALLY hammered he calls her every name in the book. They can sit on the couch for hours sniping at each other.
She's never around on weekends, because she's out partying with someone else, people we don't know about and have never met.
She's young enough to be his daughter.
What I want to know is What does he get from this "relationship."
When he's drunk, my roommate can talk for HOURS about all the people in his life who have screwed him -- from his parents and his family to his co-workers to his roommates. EVERYBODY'S out to screw him over.
And he must have a real martyr complex, because he's setting himself up to be screwed again.
When I ask what he gets from her, all he says is "It's better than being alone."
No. There are lots of things that are worse than being alone. One of them is being stuck with someone who doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you.
I've told my roommate he's being used, and he just blows it off. He's in denial. Unless he's really drunk, and then it comes out in the ugliest possible ways. He knows what's going on....
When they get after each other, I usually go hide in my room and try to ignore them. Sometimes it's like they want me there to play referee. I won't do it. They argue anyway, and sometimes I don't get much sleep.
But there's been no violence, so far. Lots of yelling and abuse, but no violence.
Everybody has issues, but Jesus. After seeing these two go at it, I'm surprised anyone ever gets close to anybody, anymore. Do they think this crap is "Normal"?
What do women want? What do men want?
It's hard enough trying to figure out what I want.
Even though money is tight and we can barely feed ourselves and stay ahead of the bills, over the last few months my roommate has let his sort-of girlfriend move into the house, bringing all of her stuff with her, and taking over a bedroom my roommate could have rented-out for at least $300 or $400 per month.
My roommate is not being "a nice guy." He Wants Something from this sort-of relationship. And he's not getting it. She won't sleep with him. She always has some kind of lame excuse.
She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't have a job. She's technically homeless. She gets food-stamp money every month, and spends it at the nearest grocery store ... but she also has five little nieces and nephews that live nearby, and most of the food ends up going to them. And my roommate has to go pick them up when she wants to see them.
When she cooks, it's for the kids. She never cleans up after herself, no matter how big the mess. She won't do dishes.
When she's in the house, she always has the TV blaring -- even when she's asleep. A couple days back she noticed some of the old record albums I have stashed in my room -- Aretha, Al Green, THE MOTOWN STORY. "There's some great old stuff here," she said. "You should play some of it."
"I would," I said, "if you'd ever turn the TV off."
She can be drunk by 11 a.m. She can go through a bottle of wine or vodka in a day, easy -- and start looking around for more. And when she gets a good buzz on, she won't shut up.
When she's really hungover, she spends all day in her room and never makes a sound.
She sometimes creeps around the house like a drug addict, sneaking in and out so no one can ever tell when she leaves or returns. Sometimes she leaves the TV turned up to cover the sound of her sneaking out. Sometimes she leaves just before my roommate gets home from work -- maybe so she won't have to deal with him...?
She's stolen money from my roommate three times. Last winter, a $1,000 electrical generator was stolen out of the back yard when she was the only person in the house -- she claims she never heard a thing. For awhile, I was constantly carrying my laptop and checkbook with me, because I don't trust her. I'm still carrying the laptop -- it's too easy to grab and go pawn-off.
My roommate has threatened to leave all of her stuff out on the front porch, has threatened to haul all her belongings to the dump. He wants her to go back to school, get her GED, go to college.
She'd rather stay home, get drunk, and stare at the TV.
My roommate drinks too, and when they're both drunk, it's something to see. She'll call his name every few minutes about something, and he'll snap at her. When he's REALLY hammered he calls her every name in the book. They can sit on the couch for hours sniping at each other.
She's never around on weekends, because she's out partying with someone else, people we don't know about and have never met.
She's young enough to be his daughter.
What I want to know is What does he get from this "relationship."
When he's drunk, my roommate can talk for HOURS about all the people in his life who have screwed him -- from his parents and his family to his co-workers to his roommates. EVERYBODY'S out to screw him over.
And he must have a real martyr complex, because he's setting himself up to be screwed again.
When I ask what he gets from her, all he says is "It's better than being alone."
No. There are lots of things that are worse than being alone. One of them is being stuck with someone who doesn't love you, doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you.
I've told my roommate he's being used, and he just blows it off. He's in denial. Unless he's really drunk, and then it comes out in the ugliest possible ways. He knows what's going on....
When they get after each other, I usually go hide in my room and try to ignore them. Sometimes it's like they want me there to play referee. I won't do it. They argue anyway, and sometimes I don't get much sleep.
But there's been no violence, so far. Lots of yelling and abuse, but no violence.
Everybody has issues, but Jesus. After seeing these two go at it, I'm surprised anyone ever gets close to anybody, anymore. Do they think this crap is "Normal"?
What do women want? What do men want?
It's hard enough trying to figure out what I want.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
#719: Dressing up in women's clothing and hangin' round in bars
My best Halloween ever happened a long time ago, around 1994 in Rawlins, Wyoming -- very much a "Wild West" sort of town.
My family was visiting my then-wife Cyndi's best friend Deb, a former newspaper co-worker of mine ... and between the two of them, the two women I trusted and loved most in the whole world, they hatched a plan for me to compete in a Halloween costume contest at the bar where Deb worked.
Cyndi dressed up as an Old West schoolmarm -- not far from what she was in Real Life. Deb went as a bar floozie -- again, not far from what she was in Real Life.
When they were done putting themselves together, they turned to me. And you could almost see the lightbulbs go on over their heads simultaneously. They whispered between themselves briefly.
I thought I was going to stay home, or at most be their Designated Driver. I was wrong.
"Do you trust me?" Deb asked. Of course I did.
"How do you feel about dressing up as a woman?" Cyndi asked.
I took a deep breath. I could use a good laugh. Work had been a non-stop stress-a-thon, and I could use a good hilarious Night Out With The Girls.
"If we're gonna do this," I said, "let's go all the way out. Let's not hold back. Let's make it something we can look back on and laugh our asses off about."
Suddenly I was Into It. I went to Deb's closet. There I found a garish purple number cut off above the knee, with some thin spaghetti straps to hold it up. Deb pulled out a wild brunette wig with hair splaying out everywhere.
They started laughing. Nobody would believe it. Nobody would be able to take it seriously. It was perfect.
I was gonna be a white, flat-chested Tina Turner.
They started working on my lips and my eyes. Deb slathered on the purple eye-shadow. They lined my eyes in thick black and put on mascara to enhance my eyelashes. All that stuff's a pain in the ass. They gave me the reddest lipstick Deb could find.
They gave me two handfuls of Kleenex for my fake "boobs" -- I had to have them to hold up the front of the dress.
They slapped on the wig, and teased it up and out even more.
When they were done, I looked in the mirror. And I couldn't stop laughing. I was gonna win that damn contest just from comedy effect.
When I was done, my kids looked me over.
"Dad, you look ... funny," said my then-8-year-old son Andy. But he wasn't laughing. I'll bet my then-6-year-old daughter Alicia was even more confused.
We headed for the bar. When we got there the place was packed and rowdy. Deb got us a table, and the ladies started doing tequila shots and other stuff that's beyond my experience. Good thing I was driving.
I settled in, and except for constantly having to pull up the front of my dress, I started getting fairly comfortable.
Until I started attracting ... admirers....
A rugged cowboy type, probably in his mid-30s, sat down at the table right next to me. He was hammered.
"Wow ... you're really something," he slurred.
"Thanks," I said in my normal voice.
Then he started buying me drinks.
I turned to my wife the schoolmarm, who was sitting on my other side -- for protection if nothing else.
"Do you think this guy realizes I'm not a woman?" I asked her.
She gave the cowboy a long look-over.
"If I were you, I'd go for it," she said.
After the contest was judged, we somehow got out of the bar alive -- and to push the ante even higher, we headed for a nearby Truck Stop for breakfast.
I learned some interesting things while climbing in and out of the car on the way there. Like how women in skirts climb in and out of vehicles without showing off all the goods. It ain't easy!
And I had to keep ... readjusting my "boobs" because they kept trying to fall down to my stomach ... which I hear can happen as you get older....
We pulled up a table at the Truck Stop and ordered breakfast. The Truck Stop staff seemed to take it all in stride -- it was Halloween, after all. But halfway through the meal, the Ultimate Challenge appeared.
I was gonna have to head for the restroom. This was a disaster waiting to happen.
So I walked through the Truck Stop, massive hair, slumping boobs and all, and turned the corner to head for the Men's.
From the bar, one of the truckers called out: "Hey, are you sure you've got the right room?"
In my deepest, most manly voice, I said: "Oh. Yeah, right. Thanks."
And kept on going. Faster.
Somehow got out of there without getting the crap kicked out of me. And when we got home we laughed about it a lot. When I looked in the mirror at the end of the night, I didn't look half as "good" as I had earlier. But I was still laughing.
Oh, the contest? Well, I placed sixth. My wife, who's schoolmarm-in-cowboy-boots costume took absolutely no fashion risks whatsoever, placed fifth. And the floozie placed third. Sometimes it's best to go for the obvious.
When I got back to work, I wrote about the experience in a weekly column I did for the newspaper. Nobody knew quite what to make of THAT, either -- whether they should laugh ... or what. And I thought that was pretty funny too....
My family was visiting my then-wife Cyndi's best friend Deb, a former newspaper co-worker of mine ... and between the two of them, the two women I trusted and loved most in the whole world, they hatched a plan for me to compete in a Halloween costume contest at the bar where Deb worked.
Cyndi dressed up as an Old West schoolmarm -- not far from what she was in Real Life. Deb went as a bar floozie -- again, not far from what she was in Real Life.
When they were done putting themselves together, they turned to me. And you could almost see the lightbulbs go on over their heads simultaneously. They whispered between themselves briefly.
I thought I was going to stay home, or at most be their Designated Driver. I was wrong.
"Do you trust me?" Deb asked. Of course I did.
"How do you feel about dressing up as a woman?" Cyndi asked.
I took a deep breath. I could use a good laugh. Work had been a non-stop stress-a-thon, and I could use a good hilarious Night Out With The Girls.
"If we're gonna do this," I said, "let's go all the way out. Let's not hold back. Let's make it something we can look back on and laugh our asses off about."
Suddenly I was Into It. I went to Deb's closet. There I found a garish purple number cut off above the knee, with some thin spaghetti straps to hold it up. Deb pulled out a wild brunette wig with hair splaying out everywhere.
They started laughing. Nobody would believe it. Nobody would be able to take it seriously. It was perfect.
I was gonna be a white, flat-chested Tina Turner.
They started working on my lips and my eyes. Deb slathered on the purple eye-shadow. They lined my eyes in thick black and put on mascara to enhance my eyelashes. All that stuff's a pain in the ass. They gave me the reddest lipstick Deb could find.
They gave me two handfuls of Kleenex for my fake "boobs" -- I had to have them to hold up the front of the dress.
They slapped on the wig, and teased it up and out even more.
When they were done, I looked in the mirror. And I couldn't stop laughing. I was gonna win that damn contest just from comedy effect.
When I was done, my kids looked me over.
"Dad, you look ... funny," said my then-8-year-old son Andy. But he wasn't laughing. I'll bet my then-6-year-old daughter Alicia was even more confused.
We headed for the bar. When we got there the place was packed and rowdy. Deb got us a table, and the ladies started doing tequila shots and other stuff that's beyond my experience. Good thing I was driving.
I settled in, and except for constantly having to pull up the front of my dress, I started getting fairly comfortable.
Until I started attracting ... admirers....
A rugged cowboy type, probably in his mid-30s, sat down at the table right next to me. He was hammered.
"Wow ... you're really something," he slurred.
"Thanks," I said in my normal voice.
Then he started buying me drinks.
I turned to my wife the schoolmarm, who was sitting on my other side -- for protection if nothing else.
"Do you think this guy realizes I'm not a woman?" I asked her.
She gave the cowboy a long look-over.
"If I were you, I'd go for it," she said.
After the contest was judged, we somehow got out of the bar alive -- and to push the ante even higher, we headed for a nearby Truck Stop for breakfast.
I learned some interesting things while climbing in and out of the car on the way there. Like how women in skirts climb in and out of vehicles without showing off all the goods. It ain't easy!
And I had to keep ... readjusting my "boobs" because they kept trying to fall down to my stomach ... which I hear can happen as you get older....
We pulled up a table at the Truck Stop and ordered breakfast. The Truck Stop staff seemed to take it all in stride -- it was Halloween, after all. But halfway through the meal, the Ultimate Challenge appeared.
I was gonna have to head for the restroom. This was a disaster waiting to happen.
So I walked through the Truck Stop, massive hair, slumping boobs and all, and turned the corner to head for the Men's.
From the bar, one of the truckers called out: "Hey, are you sure you've got the right room?"
In my deepest, most manly voice, I said: "Oh. Yeah, right. Thanks."
And kept on going. Faster.
Somehow got out of there without getting the crap kicked out of me. And when we got home we laughed about it a lot. When I looked in the mirror at the end of the night, I didn't look half as "good" as I had earlier. But I was still laughing.
Oh, the contest? Well, I placed sixth. My wife, who's schoolmarm-in-cowboy-boots costume took absolutely no fashion risks whatsoever, placed fifth. And the floozie placed third. Sometimes it's best to go for the obvious.
When I got back to work, I wrote about the experience in a weekly column I did for the newspaper. Nobody knew quite what to make of THAT, either -- whether they should laugh ... or what. And I thought that was pretty funny too....
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
#703: It's a long way there....
Spent all of Monday on a LONG road trip, down to Salem, Ore., to meet my Girlfriend's Father. That all went fine -- I was MUCH more worried about whether The New Car (bought back around Christmas) would break down somewhere along the road than I was about meeting the GF's Dad.
The trip down was four hours on busy I-5. It was around 90 degrees at our destination outside of Salem. Just south of Portland, with the temperature outside the car hovering around 89, the GF FINALLY convinced me to give the air conditioner a try, & it worked wonderfully -- & I drove the rest of the way there in a dreamy haze. Ain't technology wonderful?
Got there, met her Dad & some of the rest of her family -- nice people. Talked a lot, had some good food, tried to stay cool. Around 7 or so, we figured it was time to head back home, & it was still around 85 outside.
So I had one of my BRILLIANT IDEAS & suggested we head for the Oregon Coast, where it would be at least 20 degrees cooler than the Willamette Valley. The car had been running fine all day, I didn't want to fight the I-5 traffic again, & I hadn't seen the ocean in 10 years. It would be a nice relaxed drive home for us, so...? She said if I was up for it, she was.
Four hours down, EIGHT hours back home.
I was an idiot. I couldn't guess distances right. I was familiar with the roads north of Tillamook, Ore., so I had some idea of how far the drive back home would be. & I knew it was only about 50 miles to the ocean. What I didn't know was some of the stuff we'd encounter along the way. Not that we didn't have a fun, interesting time....
Driving into the sun as we headed west from Salem. Winding climbs into the low Coast Ranges. We saw the Marine Layer of low overcast clouds coming in from a distance, then curved off to the north to head for Tillamook. Climbed up what I thought was the last range of hills between us and the coast....
And drove right into a huge fog bank. The temperature dropped from the low 80s to the low 50s in a matter of minutes. We'd gone from summer heat to winter cool in less than 50 miles.
In the middle of the thick, shrouding fog was a road construction project -- a 15-minute wait before a pilot car led a long line of us drivers through the five-mile-long pavement-resurfacing project.
But when we dropped back down out of that and came out of the fog, we drove through the rolling green farms and leaping forest-topped hills of Tillamook Cheese country. To see all this gorgeous greenery with lakes and inlets sprinkled all through it in the evening twilight was like seeing paintings of The Shire in Middle Earth. It was all quite pretty, seemingly deserted, & very quiet around 8:30 or so.
By the time we hit the coast at Tillamook, it was pitch-dark. & apparently on Oregon's North Coast the sidewalks all roll up by 9 p.m. We finally found a gas station to fill-up the car, & bought a couple mocha frappes for some caffeine to keep us going. And we kept heading north.
Put on some music to -- I hoped -- keep me focused and motivated: Journey, Pete Townshend, Todd Rundgren, Keane. When that started to get boring, I turned on the radio and found a few "modern country" stations to keep the GF happy. Heard some pretty good stuff, too -- done mostly by women. For me, country songs seem to have more depth of feeling when women sing them.
Drove through some beautiful coastal fishing villages, gorgeous lights sparkling on the water -- almost all of them closed down tight. Could see & hear the ocean but couldn't get close to it. At one point when the caffeine got to me, we pulled over & I downed some aspirin ... and I could hear the ocean waves roaring off below us. But I couldn't see a thing.
Drove through my old stomping grounds of Raymond and South Bend, Wash., both looking very quiet in the 1 a.m. darkness. Amazing how much stupid, petty crime happened in two such small, quiet towns while I was a reporter there.
Stopped for more strong coffee at Montesano, topped-off the car and dashed for home. Finally got back to the house around 3. Was a little shaky in places -- between Tillamook and Astoria it seemed at times as if the shadows on the road in front of me were sinking into the pavement in slow motion as the bright lights from the car made them vanish. More than once or twice I thought I was seeing things. I didn't mention any of this to the GF. I KNEW I'd been driving for WAY too long.
It made for an 18-hour day, most of it on the road. I will certainly try to NEVER do THAT again. My vacation's coming up in another two weeks, and I still hope to make it over to the ocean.
During the DAYTIME, next time....
The trip down was four hours on busy I-5. It was around 90 degrees at our destination outside of Salem. Just south of Portland, with the temperature outside the car hovering around 89, the GF FINALLY convinced me to give the air conditioner a try, & it worked wonderfully -- & I drove the rest of the way there in a dreamy haze. Ain't technology wonderful?
Got there, met her Dad & some of the rest of her family -- nice people. Talked a lot, had some good food, tried to stay cool. Around 7 or so, we figured it was time to head back home, & it was still around 85 outside.
So I had one of my BRILLIANT IDEAS & suggested we head for the Oregon Coast, where it would be at least 20 degrees cooler than the Willamette Valley. The car had been running fine all day, I didn't want to fight the I-5 traffic again, & I hadn't seen the ocean in 10 years. It would be a nice relaxed drive home for us, so...? She said if I was up for it, she was.
Four hours down, EIGHT hours back home.
I was an idiot. I couldn't guess distances right. I was familiar with the roads north of Tillamook, Ore., so I had some idea of how far the drive back home would be. & I knew it was only about 50 miles to the ocean. What I didn't know was some of the stuff we'd encounter along the way. Not that we didn't have a fun, interesting time....
Driving into the sun as we headed west from Salem. Winding climbs into the low Coast Ranges. We saw the Marine Layer of low overcast clouds coming in from a distance, then curved off to the north to head for Tillamook. Climbed up what I thought was the last range of hills between us and the coast....
And drove right into a huge fog bank. The temperature dropped from the low 80s to the low 50s in a matter of minutes. We'd gone from summer heat to winter cool in less than 50 miles.
In the middle of the thick, shrouding fog was a road construction project -- a 15-minute wait before a pilot car led a long line of us drivers through the five-mile-long pavement-resurfacing project.
But when we dropped back down out of that and came out of the fog, we drove through the rolling green farms and leaping forest-topped hills of Tillamook Cheese country. To see all this gorgeous greenery with lakes and inlets sprinkled all through it in the evening twilight was like seeing paintings of The Shire in Middle Earth. It was all quite pretty, seemingly deserted, & very quiet around 8:30 or so.
By the time we hit the coast at Tillamook, it was pitch-dark. & apparently on Oregon's North Coast the sidewalks all roll up by 9 p.m. We finally found a gas station to fill-up the car, & bought a couple mocha frappes for some caffeine to keep us going. And we kept heading north.
Put on some music to -- I hoped -- keep me focused and motivated: Journey, Pete Townshend, Todd Rundgren, Keane. When that started to get boring, I turned on the radio and found a few "modern country" stations to keep the GF happy. Heard some pretty good stuff, too -- done mostly by women. For me, country songs seem to have more depth of feeling when women sing them.
Drove through some beautiful coastal fishing villages, gorgeous lights sparkling on the water -- almost all of them closed down tight. Could see & hear the ocean but couldn't get close to it. At one point when the caffeine got to me, we pulled over & I downed some aspirin ... and I could hear the ocean waves roaring off below us. But I couldn't see a thing.
Drove through my old stomping grounds of Raymond and South Bend, Wash., both looking very quiet in the 1 a.m. darkness. Amazing how much stupid, petty crime happened in two such small, quiet towns while I was a reporter there.
Stopped for more strong coffee at Montesano, topped-off the car and dashed for home. Finally got back to the house around 3. Was a little shaky in places -- between Tillamook and Astoria it seemed at times as if the shadows on the road in front of me were sinking into the pavement in slow motion as the bright lights from the car made them vanish. More than once or twice I thought I was seeing things. I didn't mention any of this to the GF. I KNEW I'd been driving for WAY too long.
It made for an 18-hour day, most of it on the road. I will certainly try to NEVER do THAT again. My vacation's coming up in another two weeks, and I still hope to make it over to the ocean.
During the DAYTIME, next time....
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
#699: 8-by-40-foot trailer
After moving back home with my parents for over a year, early in 1980 Tina The Girlfriend & I pulled together our measly cash & moved into an antique 8-foot-wide, 40-foot-long mobile home on West Boise's main drag, Fairview Ave.
Located next door to a Wendy's, a used bookstore and pizza parlor were right across the street, & a record store was just around the corner. The location was perfect. & the price was right, because it was CHEAP. I was getting tired of sleeping on my parents' hide-a-bed in their living room. & I'm sure they were getting tired of me.
The trailer had Charm to spare. Built sometime in the '50s, it had cute little solid-wood cabinets & cute little closets & a cute little kitchen with a cute tiny refrigerator (and the world's smallest icebox) -- & an adorable little bathroom in which you could practically sit on the toilet, brush your teeth & take a shower all at the same time.
But you had to be FAST. The hot water for the shower ran out in about five minutes.
There were other bonus surprises: The trailer had a gas stove that had to be re-lit anytime you wanted to use it. So I'd stick my whole head into the oven, lit match in hand, search for the pilot light, and then BOOM! And I was ready to warm up some instant coffee. Needless to say, I didn't do that too often....
But the biggest surprise was when it rained. Then rain water would POUR out of the trailer's fuse box.
I'm still amazed we weren't electrocuted, or blown up in a gas explosion, or frozen when the hot water ran out. Oh, & in the winter, if you turned on the heater, it took about 20 minutes to START getting warm....
But we didn't care, it was OURS. We had privacy & a place to call our own, & the trailer was really comfy & charming -- if you ignore that I had to turn sideways to move up and down the hallway.
The place was crammed full of my music, my books, my rock&roll posters (some of which were stapled to the CEILING because there was no room on the walls), all of Tina's clothes and other belongings.... The living room was so small there was room for a loveseat on one wall (where I worked), and a small old wooden dining table with a chair on the other wall -- & just barely enough room to walk between the two.
There were other problems. The place was perfect for one person. For two, it was a little SMALL. And if someone got upset, there was nowhere to go.
I'd just become Singles Buyer for the local four-store Musicworks record-store "chain," & I took it with all the Seriousness of any job I've ever had -- Completely Seriously, And Don't Bother Me When I'm Working. When I first took over the work, I even took the job home with me, trying to get stuff organized. And bit Tina's head off when she tried to talk to me.
I don't blame her. I was a jerk. And we were probably too young to be trying to keep house together.
But we were so thrilled to have a place of our own, we didn't even realize what a run-down neighborhood it was.
Most of the other trailers in the trailer court were more beat-up than ours, though I don't remember any of them being much OLDER. The place really was pretty trashy, though I remember it as being pretty quiet. My cousin Jim lived right next door, & I wonder now how many of our arguments he must have overheard....
But we learned some strong People Skills while living there: We had one fairly obnoxious neighbor who lived across the court, & whenever she visited & started talking a mile a minute, I'd put on David Sancious and Tone's offbeat jazz-rock "Transformation (The Speed of Love)" as "mood music" -- and within 10 minutes the talky neighbor would be gone. Something about Sancious's odd melodic twists & turns would drive her out of the house. Worked every time.
Whenever the stress got to be too much (whether it was job-related or personal), I'd put on the Pretenders' first album -- and by the time I got to the glorious guitar meltdown at the end of "Lovers of Today" & the brutal kiss-off of "Mystery Achievement," I'd feel better. Because I knew that no matter how bad a day I might've had, Chrissie Hynde had lived through a bunch of them that were WORSE. That album got me through 1980 alive.
But after 9 months in the tiny trailer, things started going bad. I saw someone peek in our bedroom window one morning about 1 a.m., & when I moved to chase them all I saw was a flash of light running away. This triggered the first of several phone calls I made to the local police. I started sleeping with a club right next to the bed, just in case.
I had started reading the works of Hunter S. Thompson (THE GREAT SHARK HUNT, FEAR AND LOATHING ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL '72), & perhaps was seeing the world as more complicated & sinister than I had before.
A friend needed somewhere to live cheap, & the three of us moved into a twice-as-big trailer elsewhere in the court. It was much nicer & much roomier, though darker.
And people still kept trying to break in....
I don't think we stayed longer than three months before moving to an upscale two-bedroom apartment across town, which is another part of the ongoing story....
The last time I was in Boise I noticed the old trailer court had been bulldozed (probably YEARS ago) and replaced by more stores....
Located next door to a Wendy's, a used bookstore and pizza parlor were right across the street, & a record store was just around the corner. The location was perfect. & the price was right, because it was CHEAP. I was getting tired of sleeping on my parents' hide-a-bed in their living room. & I'm sure they were getting tired of me.
The trailer had Charm to spare. Built sometime in the '50s, it had cute little solid-wood cabinets & cute little closets & a cute little kitchen with a cute tiny refrigerator (and the world's smallest icebox) -- & an adorable little bathroom in which you could practically sit on the toilet, brush your teeth & take a shower all at the same time.
But you had to be FAST. The hot water for the shower ran out in about five minutes.
There were other bonus surprises: The trailer had a gas stove that had to be re-lit anytime you wanted to use it. So I'd stick my whole head into the oven, lit match in hand, search for the pilot light, and then BOOM! And I was ready to warm up some instant coffee. Needless to say, I didn't do that too often....
But the biggest surprise was when it rained. Then rain water would POUR out of the trailer's fuse box.
I'm still amazed we weren't electrocuted, or blown up in a gas explosion, or frozen when the hot water ran out. Oh, & in the winter, if you turned on the heater, it took about 20 minutes to START getting warm....
But we didn't care, it was OURS. We had privacy & a place to call our own, & the trailer was really comfy & charming -- if you ignore that I had to turn sideways to move up and down the hallway.
The place was crammed full of my music, my books, my rock&roll posters (some of which were stapled to the CEILING because there was no room on the walls), all of Tina's clothes and other belongings.... The living room was so small there was room for a loveseat on one wall (where I worked), and a small old wooden dining table with a chair on the other wall -- & just barely enough room to walk between the two.
There were other problems. The place was perfect for one person. For two, it was a little SMALL. And if someone got upset, there was nowhere to go.
I'd just become Singles Buyer for the local four-store Musicworks record-store "chain," & I took it with all the Seriousness of any job I've ever had -- Completely Seriously, And Don't Bother Me When I'm Working. When I first took over the work, I even took the job home with me, trying to get stuff organized. And bit Tina's head off when she tried to talk to me.
I don't blame her. I was a jerk. And we were probably too young to be trying to keep house together.
But we were so thrilled to have a place of our own, we didn't even realize what a run-down neighborhood it was.
Most of the other trailers in the trailer court were more beat-up than ours, though I don't remember any of them being much OLDER. The place really was pretty trashy, though I remember it as being pretty quiet. My cousin Jim lived right next door, & I wonder now how many of our arguments he must have overheard....
But we learned some strong People Skills while living there: We had one fairly obnoxious neighbor who lived across the court, & whenever she visited & started talking a mile a minute, I'd put on David Sancious and Tone's offbeat jazz-rock "Transformation (The Speed of Love)" as "mood music" -- and within 10 minutes the talky neighbor would be gone. Something about Sancious's odd melodic twists & turns would drive her out of the house. Worked every time.
Whenever the stress got to be too much (whether it was job-related or personal), I'd put on the Pretenders' first album -- and by the time I got to the glorious guitar meltdown at the end of "Lovers of Today" & the brutal kiss-off of "Mystery Achievement," I'd feel better. Because I knew that no matter how bad a day I might've had, Chrissie Hynde had lived through a bunch of them that were WORSE. That album got me through 1980 alive.
But after 9 months in the tiny trailer, things started going bad. I saw someone peek in our bedroom window one morning about 1 a.m., & when I moved to chase them all I saw was a flash of light running away. This triggered the first of several phone calls I made to the local police. I started sleeping with a club right next to the bed, just in case.
I had started reading the works of Hunter S. Thompson (THE GREAT SHARK HUNT, FEAR AND LOATHING ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL '72), & perhaps was seeing the world as more complicated & sinister than I had before.
A friend needed somewhere to live cheap, & the three of us moved into a twice-as-big trailer elsewhere in the court. It was much nicer & much roomier, though darker.
And people still kept trying to break in....
I don't think we stayed longer than three months before moving to an upscale two-bedroom apartment across town, which is another part of the ongoing story....
The last time I was in Boise I noticed the old trailer court had been bulldozed (probably YEARS ago) and replaced by more stores....
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
#680: Tracking down MORE Olde Favorites
Bob Lefsetz's First Rule Of Entertainment Success: Satiate Your Audience.
So, without further ado....
I've been geographically separated from my turntable, my library, my at-home CD-player & My Stuff since about February, as I continue to spend practically every waking non-work moment with The Girlfriend. But she had a long workday on Tuesday, so I took my empty schedule & the gorgeous weather (near 80 here, pretty warm for us) & made the 10-mile trip Home, played some Strange Music (including stuff I've been sitting-on unheard since April), had some lunch, cleaned-up around the house, enjoyed the afternoon, & vanished again before The Roommate got home. & a Report follows:
The playlist:
Billy Lee Riley -- I Got a Thing About You Baby.
Johnathan King -- It's a Tall Order for a Short Guy.
Randy Edelman -- Pistol Packin' Melody.
Space Art -- A TRIP IN THE CENTER HEAD: Speedway, Odyssey, Eyes Shade, Watch It, L'Obsession d'Archibald, Hollywood Flanger....
Nino Tempo & April Stevens -- I've Been Carrying a Torch for You So Long That I've Burned a Great Big Hole in My Heart, Deep Purple.
Turtles -- Who Would Ever Think That I Would Marry Margret?, Lady-O, Cat in the Window, Like the Seasons, Rugs of Woods and Flowers.
Mott the Hoople -- All the Way from Memphis, Honaloochie Boogie.
J. Geils Band -- First I Look at the Purse (live).
Paul Simon -- American Tune.
Rip Chords -- Here I Stand, The Queen, Gone, Ding Dong.
Billy Lee Riley's 1972 "I Got a Thing" is lighter & breezier than I remembered -- but then I hadn't heard it since '72. Might also be the fault of my turntable, which has LOADS of treble & very little bass response. Anywho, "I Got a Thing" sounds just like 1972, very bright & sweet & innocent. Tony Joe White wrote it, Chips Moman produced it, it was released by Entrance/CBS, & Billy Lee STILL couldn't get a hit out of it?! One of the longest unlucky streaks in rock&roll history....
Ditto for J. King's "Tall Order," another bright&silly non-hit from '72, WAY bouncier & happier than I remembered -- pure pop. & where did those horns come from?
Randy Edelman's "Pistol Packin' Melody" is sung in a higher register than I remembered -- could also be my turntable's fault. Hadn't heard this one since '74. It's lighter than air, but it does the job.
None of these were exactly the revelatory smashes I expected upon re-hearing them -- but neither was Chris Hodge's "We're On Our Way," which I hadn't heard for 40 years but have now re-adjusted to. So....
No re-adjusting required for Space Art's TRIP IN THE CENTER HEAD, the best, most melodic synthesizer album I've ever heard -- & which I hadn't heard a note of since 1982. I'd forgotten the opener, "Speedway," but the first few bass pulses in the opening brought it all back.
The one I remembered best was "Odyssey," with its spiraling opening theme, followed by a bubbling undercurrent. This & the rest of the album beats anything I've ever heard from Rick Wakeman solo, or from Synergy, Tangerine Dream, or any of those other synth giants. Synthesizer music with some LIFE to it, very upbeat & flowing.... Weak ending here, though....
The shorter 5 of the album's 7 tracks are the best -- "Eyes Shade" was a mellower ballad, slower to develop, & I couldn't wait. "Watch It" is another upbeat, chirpy electronic piece, closer to Synergy's sound, but catchier ... though it cuts off too soon.... "L'Obsession d'Archibald" has a silly title, but it's spacey, dramatic & driving in turns, with great refrains & a multi-keyboard midsection very reminiscent of Synergy. "Hollywood Flanger" has another memorable, punchy main theme. I couldn't sit through the 10-plus-minute closer....
I read in an old Jem Records Imports catalog that Space Art was actually Jean-Michel Jarre performing under a pseudonym (D. Perrier) -- but there are several names credited on the jacket; the one credited with "realisation" is Sybil Demarsan....
"I've Been Carrying a Torch" is FAR OUT ... though not as extreme as I remembered -- it no longer sounds to me like some kind of field-work song from another planet. But there are several great moments as Nino slips up into a screaming high falsetto, & the lyrics are a hoot.
Maybe it's not a lost classic, maybe it was just the way the woodblock punctuates the title line. But get the Atco single if you can find it -- it was the B-side of the foghorn classic "Deep Purple," which still sounds great, BTW. The single has a thicker bass & seems punchier to me, though on "Deep Purple" it all sounds like an impenetrable fog.... (From the DEEP PURPLE album.)
The Turtles were another '60s group with talent to burn. "Marry Margret" is pleasant, old-timey & short. "Lady-O" is a gorgeous shoulda-been-hit written by '60s/'70s folksinger Judee Sill. As on so many Turtles songs, the vocals here are AMAZING -- it should've been on their CD best-of. "Cat in the Window" is a short, spacey piece about Getting Away, again with great group vocals. "Like the Seasons" was written by Warren Zevon & is much gentler than I'd expected -- it also ends too quickly. "Rugs of Woods and Flowers" is a sorta fake-opera, very spacey, 3 minutes I'll never get back. (From MORE GOLDEN HITS and HAPPY TOGETHER.)
Mott's "All the Way from Memphis" is a hoot, rollicking good fun with excellent lyrics & great squealing sax from Roxy Music's Andy Mackay -- not far from early Rod Stewart, really. "Honaloochee Boogie" makes just as big an impact in half the time. (Both from MOTT.)
I've heard better versions of "First I Look at the Purse," but Geils does fine -- it's funny & it MOVES, there's lotsa energy, though they do seem to almost rush through it. "If the wallet's fat, that's where it's at." No romance without finance. (From BEST OF 2.)
Paul Simon's "American Tune" is frustrating -- it's produced for High Drama by Paul Samwell-Smith, the lyrics are grand, the orchestra's all lined-up behind Paul ... but the songwriter throws away the vocal by trying to stay modest. It's a letdown. Could Art Garfunkel have done better? (From RHYMIN' SIMON.)
"Here I Stand" has a great acapella vocal opening that'll stop you in your tracks, followed by some great doo-wop-style vocals & some nice twangy, shimmery guitar. I read somewhere that the Rip Chords were Beach Boy Bruce Johnston & Byrds-and-Raiders-producer Terry Melcher in disguise -- the pair co-wrote 4 songs on this 1963 HEY LITTLE COBRA album & Melcher produced, but there are four other singers' names mentioned & one of THEM also gets a songwriting credit, so....
If you're a fan of doo-wop, surf bands or twangy guitar, you might like this -- with the warning that some of the vocals get pretty high-pitched. "The Queen" has some nice vocals on the choruses, though the song is your standard cars&girls breakup-piece. "Gone" is a wild vocal rave-up that degenerates into some great falsetto screeching.... "Ding Dong" may be best of all -- great falsetto vocals & a silly lyric. These guys had real trouble concentrating on a song for more than 2 minutes.
Whoever they were, the Chords also covered 5 Beach Boys/Jan&Dean songs, & do a pretty great "409," "Little Deuce Coupe," "Shut Down," "Drag City," & a surfed-up "She Thinks I Still Care." Great singing on each.
So: 12 songs, 24-1/2 minutes, $8.50 used, no paper inner sleeve -- priceless.
Coming Soon -- A review of Jim DeRogatis's LET IT BLURT, a biography of legendary rock critic Lester Bangs....
So, without further ado....
I've been geographically separated from my turntable, my library, my at-home CD-player & My Stuff since about February, as I continue to spend practically every waking non-work moment with The Girlfriend. But she had a long workday on Tuesday, so I took my empty schedule & the gorgeous weather (near 80 here, pretty warm for us) & made the 10-mile trip Home, played some Strange Music (including stuff I've been sitting-on unheard since April), had some lunch, cleaned-up around the house, enjoyed the afternoon, & vanished again before The Roommate got home. & a Report follows:
The playlist:
Billy Lee Riley -- I Got a Thing About You Baby.
Johnathan King -- It's a Tall Order for a Short Guy.
Randy Edelman -- Pistol Packin' Melody.
Space Art -- A TRIP IN THE CENTER HEAD: Speedway, Odyssey, Eyes Shade, Watch It, L'Obsession d'Archibald, Hollywood Flanger....
Nino Tempo & April Stevens -- I've Been Carrying a Torch for You So Long That I've Burned a Great Big Hole in My Heart, Deep Purple.
Turtles -- Who Would Ever Think That I Would Marry Margret?, Lady-O, Cat in the Window, Like the Seasons, Rugs of Woods and Flowers.
Mott the Hoople -- All the Way from Memphis, Honaloochie Boogie.
J. Geils Band -- First I Look at the Purse (live).
Paul Simon -- American Tune.
Rip Chords -- Here I Stand, The Queen, Gone, Ding Dong.
Billy Lee Riley's 1972 "I Got a Thing" is lighter & breezier than I remembered -- but then I hadn't heard it since '72. Might also be the fault of my turntable, which has LOADS of treble & very little bass response. Anywho, "I Got a Thing" sounds just like 1972, very bright & sweet & innocent. Tony Joe White wrote it, Chips Moman produced it, it was released by Entrance/CBS, & Billy Lee STILL couldn't get a hit out of it?! One of the longest unlucky streaks in rock&roll history....
Ditto for J. King's "Tall Order," another bright&silly non-hit from '72, WAY bouncier & happier than I remembered -- pure pop. & where did those horns come from?
Randy Edelman's "Pistol Packin' Melody" is sung in a higher register than I remembered -- could also be my turntable's fault. Hadn't heard this one since '74. It's lighter than air, but it does the job.
None of these were exactly the revelatory smashes I expected upon re-hearing them -- but neither was Chris Hodge's "We're On Our Way," which I hadn't heard for 40 years but have now re-adjusted to. So....
No re-adjusting required for Space Art's TRIP IN THE CENTER HEAD, the best, most melodic synthesizer album I've ever heard -- & which I hadn't heard a note of since 1982. I'd forgotten the opener, "Speedway," but the first few bass pulses in the opening brought it all back.
The one I remembered best was "Odyssey," with its spiraling opening theme, followed by a bubbling undercurrent. This & the rest of the album beats anything I've ever heard from Rick Wakeman solo, or from Synergy, Tangerine Dream, or any of those other synth giants. Synthesizer music with some LIFE to it, very upbeat & flowing.... Weak ending here, though....
The shorter 5 of the album's 7 tracks are the best -- "Eyes Shade" was a mellower ballad, slower to develop, & I couldn't wait. "Watch It" is another upbeat, chirpy electronic piece, closer to Synergy's sound, but catchier ... though it cuts off too soon.... "L'Obsession d'Archibald" has a silly title, but it's spacey, dramatic & driving in turns, with great refrains & a multi-keyboard midsection very reminiscent of Synergy. "Hollywood Flanger" has another memorable, punchy main theme. I couldn't sit through the 10-plus-minute closer....
I read in an old Jem Records Imports catalog that Space Art was actually Jean-Michel Jarre performing under a pseudonym (D. Perrier) -- but there are several names credited on the jacket; the one credited with "realisation" is Sybil Demarsan....
"I've Been Carrying a Torch" is FAR OUT ... though not as extreme as I remembered -- it no longer sounds to me like some kind of field-work song from another planet. But there are several great moments as Nino slips up into a screaming high falsetto, & the lyrics are a hoot.
Maybe it's not a lost classic, maybe it was just the way the woodblock punctuates the title line. But get the Atco single if you can find it -- it was the B-side of the foghorn classic "Deep Purple," which still sounds great, BTW. The single has a thicker bass & seems punchier to me, though on "Deep Purple" it all sounds like an impenetrable fog.... (From the DEEP PURPLE album.)
The Turtles were another '60s group with talent to burn. "Marry Margret" is pleasant, old-timey & short. "Lady-O" is a gorgeous shoulda-been-hit written by '60s/'70s folksinger Judee Sill. As on so many Turtles songs, the vocals here are AMAZING -- it should've been on their CD best-of. "Cat in the Window" is a short, spacey piece about Getting Away, again with great group vocals. "Like the Seasons" was written by Warren Zevon & is much gentler than I'd expected -- it also ends too quickly. "Rugs of Woods and Flowers" is a sorta fake-opera, very spacey, 3 minutes I'll never get back. (From MORE GOLDEN HITS and HAPPY TOGETHER.)
Mott's "All the Way from Memphis" is a hoot, rollicking good fun with excellent lyrics & great squealing sax from Roxy Music's Andy Mackay -- not far from early Rod Stewart, really. "Honaloochee Boogie" makes just as big an impact in half the time. (Both from MOTT.)
I've heard better versions of "First I Look at the Purse," but Geils does fine -- it's funny & it MOVES, there's lotsa energy, though they do seem to almost rush through it. "If the wallet's fat, that's where it's at." No romance without finance. (From BEST OF 2.)
Paul Simon's "American Tune" is frustrating -- it's produced for High Drama by Paul Samwell-Smith, the lyrics are grand, the orchestra's all lined-up behind Paul ... but the songwriter throws away the vocal by trying to stay modest. It's a letdown. Could Art Garfunkel have done better? (From RHYMIN' SIMON.)
"Here I Stand" has a great acapella vocal opening that'll stop you in your tracks, followed by some great doo-wop-style vocals & some nice twangy, shimmery guitar. I read somewhere that the Rip Chords were Beach Boy Bruce Johnston & Byrds-and-Raiders-producer Terry Melcher in disguise -- the pair co-wrote 4 songs on this 1963 HEY LITTLE COBRA album & Melcher produced, but there are four other singers' names mentioned & one of THEM also gets a songwriting credit, so....
If you're a fan of doo-wop, surf bands or twangy guitar, you might like this -- with the warning that some of the vocals get pretty high-pitched. "The Queen" has some nice vocals on the choruses, though the song is your standard cars&girls breakup-piece. "Gone" is a wild vocal rave-up that degenerates into some great falsetto screeching.... "Ding Dong" may be best of all -- great falsetto vocals & a silly lyric. These guys had real trouble concentrating on a song for more than 2 minutes.
Whoever they were, the Chords also covered 5 Beach Boys/Jan&Dean songs, & do a pretty great "409," "Little Deuce Coupe," "Shut Down," "Drag City," & a surfed-up "She Thinks I Still Care." Great singing on each.
So: 12 songs, 24-1/2 minutes, $8.50 used, no paper inner sleeve -- priceless.
Coming Soon -- A review of Jim DeRogatis's LET IT BLURT, a biography of legendary rock critic Lester Bangs....
Friday, May 31, 2013
#678: First Girl I Loved
Her name was Connie Elliott. It was the Fall of 1974. I was 15, hanging out in Boise with my lawbreaking half-brother Jay, stealing small change, grabbing gas cans out of people's garages & generally being stupid. Connie was a friend of our friends -- cute, short & quiet, with long curly brown hair. She hardly ever said a word unless you asked her a direct question.
On Friday nights we used to fill Jay's huge red van with the entire gang & hang out at the Meridian Drive-In. We hardly ever saw the movie -- there was too much other drama going on. The first time Connie was left alone in the van with me, she started grilling me with questions: Who was with who? What does Jay think of Debbie (Connie's older sister)? Is he in love with her? Oh, & why wasn't I With anyone?
This of course grabbed my attention.
Next time I saw her was at her home, where she & I & Jay & Debbie & the half-dozen others in our gang sprawled across the family-room floor, gabbing & eating & relaxing.
At some point I heard a voice come from over my shoulder: "Could I maybe sneak through here...?" & I said "Sure, come through if you can GET through...." & moving past me was Connie's uncle, who tipped the scales at maybe 300 pounds.
& I looked at Connie & she was already laughing, & I said "Oh, I didn't mean it like THAT," & then she REALLY started laughing, until she was crying & she leaned over onto the floor, gasping 4 breath. Everybody else got quiet wondering what they'd missed.
& a friendship was born.
I thought she was great -- mainly because she actually TALKED to me, she didn't think I was too dorky to bother with. & this was a shock, because I was scared to death of girls, didn't know how to approach, didn't know what to say, was still way too nervous.
Connie tried. We liked talking with each other, spent HOURS on the phone, always had some laughs no matter how weird things got or how much drama was going on in The Gang. She always wanted to know what I THOUGHT about things. She tried to teach me how to dance -- but she gave up when she learned how unbelievably clutzy I was.
That's all that happened, because I wasn't sure what else to do. She was two years younger than me, but had already been through a LOT more.
We continued to hang-out at the drive-in. One cold night I screwed-up all my courage & wrapped an arm around Connie's shoulders -- she was out in December without a coat. She seemed to snuggle in closer & said: "You know, you can move your arm down LOWER, if you want to...." & I wanted to. But I was scared to death. & I stayed where I was. Because I was an idiot.
We never kissed, we never even held hands.
A couple months later, after LOTS more drama in our bunch, I finally told Connie how I felt -- I thought maybe she'd be open to putting up with a geek like me. I said the words "I love you." I said I'd never met anyone like her, that it still shocked me how easily we could talk with each other.
& she waved me off. "I'll just hurt you," she said. I said I didn't see how she could. But Connie did. Soon after she took up with my brother....
After that she tried to set me up with her sister, & though Debbie was nice, we both knew we weren't with who we wanted to be with.... Connie & Jay didn't last. After much more drama, we all drifted apart.
The J. Geils Band's "Must of Got Lost" became the theme song for the relationship Connie & I didn't quite have -- & we both knew it.
I visited her house once, a few months after. Connie & Debbie were both running around in shorts & summer tops, & I was struck again by what a knockout she was. But Connie sort of kept her distance....
A year or so later, as an April Fool's joke, Connie called me out of the blue & claimed to be pregnant. There was a LONG silence at my end of the phone. "But, I, uh, we never even...." Then Connie started laughing & we talked for an hour for the first time in ages. It was almost like old times. But there were no sequels.
At one point my folks moved into a house a mile down the road from Connie's. & though I always wondered what she was doing, I never checked in on her. I had long ago received the clear message that she was way ahead of me, maturity-wise....
Then, looking through the newspaper one day, I saw that Connie'd had a baby. Then she got a marriage license. She was married with a child, at age 16. ...& her husband was a guy I'd had a class with in highschool.
Years went by. I read quite awhile back that Connie's husband had died young, in his early 30s. That was over 20 years ago. But I've got no idea what ever happened to Connie, the first girl I ever said "I love you" to.
Connie, if you're Out There somewhere, drop me a line. The Geek still remembers you. I'm way better at Talking, these days. I can even dance, a little. Sort of. Slow dance, at least. I was dancing at work just last night....
On Friday nights we used to fill Jay's huge red van with the entire gang & hang out at the Meridian Drive-In. We hardly ever saw the movie -- there was too much other drama going on. The first time Connie was left alone in the van with me, she started grilling me with questions: Who was with who? What does Jay think of Debbie (Connie's older sister)? Is he in love with her? Oh, & why wasn't I With anyone?
This of course grabbed my attention.
Next time I saw her was at her home, where she & I & Jay & Debbie & the half-dozen others in our gang sprawled across the family-room floor, gabbing & eating & relaxing.
At some point I heard a voice come from over my shoulder: "Could I maybe sneak through here...?" & I said "Sure, come through if you can GET through...." & moving past me was Connie's uncle, who tipped the scales at maybe 300 pounds.
& I looked at Connie & she was already laughing, & I said "Oh, I didn't mean it like THAT," & then she REALLY started laughing, until she was crying & she leaned over onto the floor, gasping 4 breath. Everybody else got quiet wondering what they'd missed.
& a friendship was born.
I thought she was great -- mainly because she actually TALKED to me, she didn't think I was too dorky to bother with. & this was a shock, because I was scared to death of girls, didn't know how to approach, didn't know what to say, was still way too nervous.
Connie tried. We liked talking with each other, spent HOURS on the phone, always had some laughs no matter how weird things got or how much drama was going on in The Gang. She always wanted to know what I THOUGHT about things. She tried to teach me how to dance -- but she gave up when she learned how unbelievably clutzy I was.
That's all that happened, because I wasn't sure what else to do. She was two years younger than me, but had already been through a LOT more.
We continued to hang-out at the drive-in. One cold night I screwed-up all my courage & wrapped an arm around Connie's shoulders -- she was out in December without a coat. She seemed to snuggle in closer & said: "You know, you can move your arm down LOWER, if you want to...." & I wanted to. But I was scared to death. & I stayed where I was. Because I was an idiot.
We never kissed, we never even held hands.
A couple months later, after LOTS more drama in our bunch, I finally told Connie how I felt -- I thought maybe she'd be open to putting up with a geek like me. I said the words "I love you." I said I'd never met anyone like her, that it still shocked me how easily we could talk with each other.
& she waved me off. "I'll just hurt you," she said. I said I didn't see how she could. But Connie did. Soon after she took up with my brother....
After that she tried to set me up with her sister, & though Debbie was nice, we both knew we weren't with who we wanted to be with.... Connie & Jay didn't last. After much more drama, we all drifted apart.
The J. Geils Band's "Must of Got Lost" became the theme song for the relationship Connie & I didn't quite have -- & we both knew it.
I visited her house once, a few months after. Connie & Debbie were both running around in shorts & summer tops, & I was struck again by what a knockout she was. But Connie sort of kept her distance....
A year or so later, as an April Fool's joke, Connie called me out of the blue & claimed to be pregnant. There was a LONG silence at my end of the phone. "But, I, uh, we never even...." Then Connie started laughing & we talked for an hour for the first time in ages. It was almost like old times. But there were no sequels.
At one point my folks moved into a house a mile down the road from Connie's. & though I always wondered what she was doing, I never checked in on her. I had long ago received the clear message that she was way ahead of me, maturity-wise....
Then, looking through the newspaper one day, I saw that Connie'd had a baby. Then she got a marriage license. She was married with a child, at age 16. ...& her husband was a guy I'd had a class with in highschool.
Years went by. I read quite awhile back that Connie's husband had died young, in his early 30s. That was over 20 years ago. But I've got no idea what ever happened to Connie, the first girl I ever said "I love you" to.
Connie, if you're Out There somewhere, drop me a line. The Geek still remembers you. I'm way better at Talking, these days. I can even dance, a little. Sort of. Slow dance, at least. I was dancing at work just last night....
Thursday, May 30, 2013
#677: Summer 1978
It's the Summer of 1978 & I am moved-out of my parents' house for the first time ever, living in a 2-story townhouse-style apartment in Boise's "Sergeant City" with my best friend in the world, Don Vincent.
We pulled together the little money we had, found a place cheap, & within a couple days we are moved in. Immediately we start making the place over into something that's "ours." The rock&roll & fantasy posters immediately go up on the walls. We start "fumigating" with incense & scented candles in almost every room. & as soon as the stereo gets set-up in the cave-like living room downstairs, we start playing Strange Music at every opportunity.
For Don it could be anything from Aphrodite's Child to Keith Jarrett to Chick Corea to Chuck Mangione(?). He leans toward some pretty-out-there jazz. I'm just discovering that King Crimson might be Good. Mostly I fall back on some old favorites -- middle-period Genesis, Gryphon, Providence, Renaissance, Kansas, Queen, Boston.
Boston's DON'T LOOK BACK comes out & we argue about its qualities -- we agree the good stuff is really good, but the album's only half-finished.... Journey's INFINITY is a subject of some debate: At first I think it's bland Stadium Rock; then I'm caught by "Feelin' That Way/Anytime," & another sale gets made. Genesis's AND THEN THERE WERE THREE is released & I read reviews that compare it negatively to The Moody Blues ... & that's all I need to hear; the good stuff is good -- the try at a hit single sucks. Gentle Giant's GIANT FOR A DAY is issued, & Don & I wonder if it's The Worst Album Of All Time....
Other buys: Gryphon's RAINDANCE, TREASON and MIDNIGHT MUSHRUMPS, 1st U.K. album, Happy the Man's CRAFTY HANDS, Camel's BREATHLESS, Caravan's BLIND DOG AT ST. DUNSTAN'S, Renaissance's A SONG FOR ALL SEASONS, Gentle Giant's FREE HAND and GIANT STEPS, Todd Rundgren's SOMETHING/ANYTHING?, Incredible String Band's THE HANGMAN'S BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, THE GREATER ANTILLES SAMPLER (the first place I hear Nick Drake), & probably dozens more I've forgotten....
Out of all this music, the fantasy posters on the wall, & the optimistic atmosphere of the place, I start writing a long, winding heroic Middle Ages fantasy -- 40+ pages, something to fill-up my spare time -- which turns out to be Nothing Special, just a standard LORD OF THE RINGS-style Other World with some pretty lightshows along the way. It never really gets finished.
Just around the corner from the apartment is The Musicworks, Boise's friendliest record store, where I end up working a year or so down the road. Whenever I'm bored, & especially on Laundry Day, I haunt the store for HOURS, listening to the funny, hip, cool, with-it clerks trade rock&roll stories -- who they've seen in concert, who they helped haul gear into a gig for, which huge-hyped albums bombed the biggest.... These guys are hilarious -- I can listen to them talk for hours. & then go back home without buying a thing....
Don is Attached at this time, but he introduces me to his old girlfriend Tina, who I've heard of but never met. & at the end of our first meeting she kisses me briefly on the lips & I about fall over. It's been MONTHS since I've been close to anyone. We start spending a lot of time on the phone, & then a lot of time together. She will eventually, briefly, move into the apartment with us.
A few months later, our old buddy Jeff Mann will move in, & things will get even crazier. At one point every sleeping surface in the apartment is filled, & stereos begin duelling to try to cover-up the sounds of sensual delight leaking out of the bedrooms. At one point our friends Melissa & Thom briefly move into the closet-sized third bedroom, hang around for meals & camp-out on the living-room couch. Melissa is heading back to college, & we try to talk Thom into moving in -- but he wonders if the neighbors will mind him practicing violin eight hours a day ... & finally he drifts away.
Now & then my old girlfriend Allison & her new guy Richard arrive unexpectedly for a visit -- it gets to be a pretty crowded apartment at times. There's a lotta nostalgia in the air.
When Jeff arrives the music gets louder, though I don't remember him ever entertaining any dates overnight. I DO remember hearing him throwing up in the bathroom night after night, after coming home from his new party-hearty lifestyle. He introduces us to AC/DC, Ted Nugent, REO, LOTS of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, & much more. He calls the sometimes-twisted stuff I listen to "mindfuck music," & that starts a lot more marathon musical arguments....
Tina adopts some of my music & starts wearing headphones almost constantly while listening to a mix tape of some of the best of Renaissance, Genesis, Camel, Boston, Journey, Barclay James Harvest, Mike Oldfield....
I get fed-up with my job & stupidly give my 2 weeks' notice. I end up unemployed for the next 6 months.... I hang on for a couple more months in the apartment, & out of the stress of unpaid bills & strained friendships I write my first published short-story. & then move back into my parents' house before Christmas -- where I'll be trapped for the next 14 months.
Don & Jeff keep it going for another year -- then Jeff moves back to Texas, where his parents have moved after his highschool graduation. Don loses his girlfriend in a car wreck, goes through two VERY bad years, then finds a new love.
1979 turns out to be the worst year of our lives, up 'til then. But even in the middle of my worst year ever, The Musicworks hires me part-time & suddenly I have my Dream Job, & even offer to work for free.... I find my way back out of my folks' house early in 1980, & move with Tina into the world's smallest mobile home -- so tiny that there's no spare room on the walls & the rock&roll posters have to be stapled to the ceiling....
We pulled together the little money we had, found a place cheap, & within a couple days we are moved in. Immediately we start making the place over into something that's "ours." The rock&roll & fantasy posters immediately go up on the walls. We start "fumigating" with incense & scented candles in almost every room. & as soon as the stereo gets set-up in the cave-like living room downstairs, we start playing Strange Music at every opportunity.
For Don it could be anything from Aphrodite's Child to Keith Jarrett to Chick Corea to Chuck Mangione(?). He leans toward some pretty-out-there jazz. I'm just discovering that King Crimson might be Good. Mostly I fall back on some old favorites -- middle-period Genesis, Gryphon, Providence, Renaissance, Kansas, Queen, Boston.
Boston's DON'T LOOK BACK comes out & we argue about its qualities -- we agree the good stuff is really good, but the album's only half-finished.... Journey's INFINITY is a subject of some debate: At first I think it's bland Stadium Rock; then I'm caught by "Feelin' That Way/Anytime," & another sale gets made. Genesis's AND THEN THERE WERE THREE is released & I read reviews that compare it negatively to The Moody Blues ... & that's all I need to hear; the good stuff is good -- the try at a hit single sucks. Gentle Giant's GIANT FOR A DAY is issued, & Don & I wonder if it's The Worst Album Of All Time....
Other buys: Gryphon's RAINDANCE, TREASON and MIDNIGHT MUSHRUMPS, 1st U.K. album, Happy the Man's CRAFTY HANDS, Camel's BREATHLESS, Caravan's BLIND DOG AT ST. DUNSTAN'S, Renaissance's A SONG FOR ALL SEASONS, Gentle Giant's FREE HAND and GIANT STEPS, Todd Rundgren's SOMETHING/ANYTHING?, Incredible String Band's THE HANGMAN'S BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, THE GREATER ANTILLES SAMPLER (the first place I hear Nick Drake), & probably dozens more I've forgotten....
Out of all this music, the fantasy posters on the wall, & the optimistic atmosphere of the place, I start writing a long, winding heroic Middle Ages fantasy -- 40+ pages, something to fill-up my spare time -- which turns out to be Nothing Special, just a standard LORD OF THE RINGS-style Other World with some pretty lightshows along the way. It never really gets finished.
Just around the corner from the apartment is The Musicworks, Boise's friendliest record store, where I end up working a year or so down the road. Whenever I'm bored, & especially on Laundry Day, I haunt the store for HOURS, listening to the funny, hip, cool, with-it clerks trade rock&roll stories -- who they've seen in concert, who they helped haul gear into a gig for, which huge-hyped albums bombed the biggest.... These guys are hilarious -- I can listen to them talk for hours. & then go back home without buying a thing....
Don is Attached at this time, but he introduces me to his old girlfriend Tina, who I've heard of but never met. & at the end of our first meeting she kisses me briefly on the lips & I about fall over. It's been MONTHS since I've been close to anyone. We start spending a lot of time on the phone, & then a lot of time together. She will eventually, briefly, move into the apartment with us.
A few months later, our old buddy Jeff Mann will move in, & things will get even crazier. At one point every sleeping surface in the apartment is filled, & stereos begin duelling to try to cover-up the sounds of sensual delight leaking out of the bedrooms. At one point our friends Melissa & Thom briefly move into the closet-sized third bedroom, hang around for meals & camp-out on the living-room couch. Melissa is heading back to college, & we try to talk Thom into moving in -- but he wonders if the neighbors will mind him practicing violin eight hours a day ... & finally he drifts away.
Now & then my old girlfriend Allison & her new guy Richard arrive unexpectedly for a visit -- it gets to be a pretty crowded apartment at times. There's a lotta nostalgia in the air.
When Jeff arrives the music gets louder, though I don't remember him ever entertaining any dates overnight. I DO remember hearing him throwing up in the bathroom night after night, after coming home from his new party-hearty lifestyle. He introduces us to AC/DC, Ted Nugent, REO, LOTS of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, & much more. He calls the sometimes-twisted stuff I listen to "mindfuck music," & that starts a lot more marathon musical arguments....
Tina adopts some of my music & starts wearing headphones almost constantly while listening to a mix tape of some of the best of Renaissance, Genesis, Camel, Boston, Journey, Barclay James Harvest, Mike Oldfield....
I get fed-up with my job & stupidly give my 2 weeks' notice. I end up unemployed for the next 6 months.... I hang on for a couple more months in the apartment, & out of the stress of unpaid bills & strained friendships I write my first published short-story. & then move back into my parents' house before Christmas -- where I'll be trapped for the next 14 months.
Don & Jeff keep it going for another year -- then Jeff moves back to Texas, where his parents have moved after his highschool graduation. Don loses his girlfriend in a car wreck, goes through two VERY bad years, then finds a new love.
1979 turns out to be the worst year of our lives, up 'til then. But even in the middle of my worst year ever, The Musicworks hires me part-time & suddenly I have my Dream Job, & even offer to work for free.... I find my way back out of my folks' house early in 1980, & move with Tina into the world's smallest mobile home -- so tiny that there's no spare room on the walls & the rock&roll posters have to be stapled to the ceiling....
Saturday, May 4, 2013
#661: Dating After 50 (Part 2)
OK, to recap....
The Fast One was a REALLY great kisser. But she was Crazy -- & Not in a Good Way. & the main reasons she seemed to want a guy around were for money & emotional support.
The Slow One was a nice person, but there was a lot of Mystery workin' there. One Winter night she actually called ME at work, which she NEVER did, & said -- out of the blue -- that she'd "really love to have a warm body to cuddle up with on these cold nights."
Bing-bing-BING! I gently offered to come right over after I closed the store ... but she said she didn't want that. I never really figured out what she DID want....
The 28-year-old disappeared after she came into the store one busy night & I wasn't absolutely overjoyed to see her. Besides, she had guys Her Own Age to chase after. Before that, she'd started showing me pictures of them that they'd sent to her cellphone....
Somewhere in the middle of this, an old friend kept popping up unexpectedly. She was also Just My Type, & a little closer to My Age, just passing 40. I thought she was gorgeous, & a lot of fun to talk with.
& even though her daughter's birthday inspired from me the first piece of comedy-fiction I'd written in YEARS as a birthday present -- they read it & laughed 'til they cried -- even that wasn't enough to win her over.
She finally told me very gently that -- even though she liked me -- I was WAY down her list of eligible men.
After these failures, I backed off for a bit. Like, 2 years. I started wondering if there was something wrong with me, if I expected too much, if I was misreading women. I'm famous for over-reacting, getting things wrong, making Something out of Nothing.
So I cooled off for awhile, gave up, kept to myself -- read & listened to music & wrote on this blog, & felt fairly happy. I thought I was doing OK. Maybe I was a little lonely sometimes, but I got to the point where I didn't obsess about it. In fact, I tried not to think about it at all. I thought My Life Was Good.
Maybe I was wrong. My roommate -- who had to put up with me through this -- told me at one point that I was being "insufferable." & that's a big word for him.
So I got brave, looked at my bank account, & took the plunge. I joined Match.com.
It was a fun experience, & a real eye-opener. I was only on Match for 2 months -- long enough to get WAY cynical about it. Even got a blog post out of it -- look up "2 months on Match.com!", it's worth the trouble, lotsa laughs.
I was on long enough that my Match profile/bio turned into a satire of all the women's bios I'd been reading -- poking fun at the laundry-list of requirements they had for a guy. Sure, I wanted a financially-secure, romantic, emotionally-stable, passionate mate who enjoyed long romantic walks on a moonlit beach -- who wouldn't want THAT? But the Reality was....
I was in my last couple weeks on Match when a woman walked into my work & introduced herself -- as I'd urged brave women to do in my bio, because I thought I came across better in person than in a photo.
Problem was, I didn't know who she was. Match had sent my bio to her, but I hadn't seen her profile.
She got all embarrassed -- but I told her not to be, that it was All Good & maybe we'd talk more....
I went home that night & checked Match & there she was. We e-mailed each other, & agreed to meet for coffee & talk. We met again for coffee a couple nights later, then agreed to have a picnic on my next day off -- pretty brave planning for Western Washington in the Spring.
& we've been together pretty-much ever since. That's been over a year, now.
At first it was nice just having someone new to talk with. Then it became obvious that we were very much alike in our interests & temperaments & OCD-ness. ...& then we started finishing each other's sentences. & calling each other at the same time. & making each other laugh 'til we cry. & all that other gooshy stuff that happens when you start Falling for someone.
We're very comfortable with each other, & at my age that means a lot. It hasn't been perfect, exactly. We've both got weird work schedules, & we're both a bit of a challenge to live with. There have been a couple bumpy spots along the way, but not as many as I'd expected, & nothing really Major. Mainly, I think, because the new girlfriend is a grown-up. She's very steady. That makes a big difference.
This could happen to you, too. Don't give up.
But watch out for the Crazies....
The Fast One was a REALLY great kisser. But she was Crazy -- & Not in a Good Way. & the main reasons she seemed to want a guy around were for money & emotional support.
The Slow One was a nice person, but there was a lot of Mystery workin' there. One Winter night she actually called ME at work, which she NEVER did, & said -- out of the blue -- that she'd "really love to have a warm body to cuddle up with on these cold nights."
Bing-bing-BING! I gently offered to come right over after I closed the store ... but she said she didn't want that. I never really figured out what she DID want....
The 28-year-old disappeared after she came into the store one busy night & I wasn't absolutely overjoyed to see her. Besides, she had guys Her Own Age to chase after. Before that, she'd started showing me pictures of them that they'd sent to her cellphone....
Somewhere in the middle of this, an old friend kept popping up unexpectedly. She was also Just My Type, & a little closer to My Age, just passing 40. I thought she was gorgeous, & a lot of fun to talk with.
& even though her daughter's birthday inspired from me the first piece of comedy-fiction I'd written in YEARS as a birthday present -- they read it & laughed 'til they cried -- even that wasn't enough to win her over.
She finally told me very gently that -- even though she liked me -- I was WAY down her list of eligible men.
After these failures, I backed off for a bit. Like, 2 years. I started wondering if there was something wrong with me, if I expected too much, if I was misreading women. I'm famous for over-reacting, getting things wrong, making Something out of Nothing.
So I cooled off for awhile, gave up, kept to myself -- read & listened to music & wrote on this blog, & felt fairly happy. I thought I was doing OK. Maybe I was a little lonely sometimes, but I got to the point where I didn't obsess about it. In fact, I tried not to think about it at all. I thought My Life Was Good.
Maybe I was wrong. My roommate -- who had to put up with me through this -- told me at one point that I was being "insufferable." & that's a big word for him.
So I got brave, looked at my bank account, & took the plunge. I joined Match.com.
It was a fun experience, & a real eye-opener. I was only on Match for 2 months -- long enough to get WAY cynical about it. Even got a blog post out of it -- look up "2 months on Match.com!", it's worth the trouble, lotsa laughs.
I was on long enough that my Match profile/bio turned into a satire of all the women's bios I'd been reading -- poking fun at the laundry-list of requirements they had for a guy. Sure, I wanted a financially-secure, romantic, emotionally-stable, passionate mate who enjoyed long romantic walks on a moonlit beach -- who wouldn't want THAT? But the Reality was....
I was in my last couple weeks on Match when a woman walked into my work & introduced herself -- as I'd urged brave women to do in my bio, because I thought I came across better in person than in a photo.
Problem was, I didn't know who she was. Match had sent my bio to her, but I hadn't seen her profile.
She got all embarrassed -- but I told her not to be, that it was All Good & maybe we'd talk more....
I went home that night & checked Match & there she was. We e-mailed each other, & agreed to meet for coffee & talk. We met again for coffee a couple nights later, then agreed to have a picnic on my next day off -- pretty brave planning for Western Washington in the Spring.
& we've been together pretty-much ever since. That's been over a year, now.
At first it was nice just having someone new to talk with. Then it became obvious that we were very much alike in our interests & temperaments & OCD-ness. ...& then we started finishing each other's sentences. & calling each other at the same time. & making each other laugh 'til we cry. & all that other gooshy stuff that happens when you start Falling for someone.
We're very comfortable with each other, & at my age that means a lot. It hasn't been perfect, exactly. We've both got weird work schedules, & we're both a bit of a challenge to live with. There have been a couple bumpy spots along the way, but not as many as I'd expected, & nothing really Major. Mainly, I think, because the new girlfriend is a grown-up. She's very steady. That makes a big difference.
This could happen to you, too. Don't give up.
But watch out for the Crazies....
Friday, May 3, 2013
#660: Dating After 50 (Part 1)
It's a jungle out there.
After the end of my last long-term Relationship (10 years), I was actually kind of excited about meeting somebody new. But I didn't realize how weird things had gotten since the last time I went out on a date.
I went through 5 years of scaring women off, meeting & going out with women who were Obviously Wrong for me, even joining a dating website before I finally met someone who was Right for me -- by accident. & so far we've been together for over a year.
Once I became Available again, I made two obvious mistakes: I was a little too obvious & desperate. & I asked out just about any woman who seemed even mildly interested.
This led to 3 women in a row saying yes, they'd go out with me -- & then they vanished, never to be seen or heard from again. I got the message. I didn't like scaring women off, so I then became perhaps overly cautious.
Which led to me going on dates with one woman who was way too SLOW for me ... & another who was way too FAST. WAY too fast.
The Fast One was an impulse, A Date Of Opportunity, because I realized it had been too long since I'd actually said the words "Do you want to go out?" & she'd just broken up with her boyfriend, so she was easy pickins. But I paid for it....
"So, what's up?" I asked. "Oh," she said, "I just got done kickin' my old boyfriend to the curb." "Well, you need to go out with ME, then!" DONE!
We went out a couple times for a midnight snack, & she always left abruptly, as if she was scared of being followed. Nothing happened. Wasn't sure I WANTED anything to. She seemed a little crazy. Maybe more than a little. So I wrote her off.
Months later, she showed up at my job just as I was closing up. As I locked the front door, she ran up and kissed me on the cheek. "I want to go out with you RIGHT NOW," she said in a breathless rush. "I want you to drive MY car -- & you're gonna Get Lucky tonight 'cos I'm not wearing ANY PANTIES!"
Uh ... Oh ... Kay....
Survived that. But I learned what the game was pretty quick, because she'd only show up out of the blue, without any warning, whenever she needed emotional support or gas money to go see her son in Seattle. Eventually she just drifted away. Thank Ghod.
The Slow One was a couple years older than me, had been alone for 5 years, & said she'd gotten used to men not noticing her. She told me up-front she wanted me "to do all the work" -- call her, figure out things for us to do together, do all the driving, etc. We agreed to get together to check-out second-hand stores, have coffee, maybe go to a movie now & then. We agreed we'd be friends, not rush.
We went out a few times, had some laughs, were pretty relaxed with each other -- but after 3 months of seeing each other every couple weeks we had maybe gently pressed our lips together twice. Things were moving very slowly. We weren't learning much about each other. The conversation dragged. There was a LOT that wasn't being said.
& she wouldn't return phonecalls. After 9 p.m. she wouldn't even ANSWER her phone.
The End came when she got us movie matinee passes & I asked if she wanted me to put my arm around her in case the movie got scary.
"You just keep your arm to yourself," she said. Boom.
Then she COMPLETELY stopped answering her phone.
Too bad. She was a nice person, even if she was a little ... slow ....
There was a 28-year-old I met at work & went out with a couple times. She was My Type -- long dark hair, a few extra pounds in the right places, & she went on&ON about how she LOVED to come into the store when I was working. So I asked her out. I figured she was being pretty obvious.
I didn't realize how young she was until we were out drinking coffee & trying to cover the basics. Then I learned she was almost young enough to be my daughter.
I was uneasy, but kind of flattered because I thought she was HOT -- & very open in her conversation, which was also attractive.
But I noticed that as we sat there talking in the cafe, she looked at EVERY GUY who walked by, & that's when it hit me:
She was just Passing Time with The Old Guy until The Right Guy came along. Once that was clear to me, she wasn't so hot anymore.
(To Be Continued....)
After the end of my last long-term Relationship (10 years), I was actually kind of excited about meeting somebody new. But I didn't realize how weird things had gotten since the last time I went out on a date.
I went through 5 years of scaring women off, meeting & going out with women who were Obviously Wrong for me, even joining a dating website before I finally met someone who was Right for me -- by accident. & so far we've been together for over a year.
Once I became Available again, I made two obvious mistakes: I was a little too obvious & desperate. & I asked out just about any woman who seemed even mildly interested.
This led to 3 women in a row saying yes, they'd go out with me -- & then they vanished, never to be seen or heard from again. I got the message. I didn't like scaring women off, so I then became perhaps overly cautious.
Which led to me going on dates with one woman who was way too SLOW for me ... & another who was way too FAST. WAY too fast.
The Fast One was an impulse, A Date Of Opportunity, because I realized it had been too long since I'd actually said the words "Do you want to go out?" & she'd just broken up with her boyfriend, so she was easy pickins. But I paid for it....
"So, what's up?" I asked. "Oh," she said, "I just got done kickin' my old boyfriend to the curb." "Well, you need to go out with ME, then!" DONE!
We went out a couple times for a midnight snack, & she always left abruptly, as if she was scared of being followed. Nothing happened. Wasn't sure I WANTED anything to. She seemed a little crazy. Maybe more than a little. So I wrote her off.
Months later, she showed up at my job just as I was closing up. As I locked the front door, she ran up and kissed me on the cheek. "I want to go out with you RIGHT NOW," she said in a breathless rush. "I want you to drive MY car -- & you're gonna Get Lucky tonight 'cos I'm not wearing ANY PANTIES!"
Uh ... Oh ... Kay....
Survived that. But I learned what the game was pretty quick, because she'd only show up out of the blue, without any warning, whenever she needed emotional support or gas money to go see her son in Seattle. Eventually she just drifted away. Thank Ghod.
The Slow One was a couple years older than me, had been alone for 5 years, & said she'd gotten used to men not noticing her. She told me up-front she wanted me "to do all the work" -- call her, figure out things for us to do together, do all the driving, etc. We agreed to get together to check-out second-hand stores, have coffee, maybe go to a movie now & then. We agreed we'd be friends, not rush.
We went out a few times, had some laughs, were pretty relaxed with each other -- but after 3 months of seeing each other every couple weeks we had maybe gently pressed our lips together twice. Things were moving very slowly. We weren't learning much about each other. The conversation dragged. There was a LOT that wasn't being said.
& she wouldn't return phonecalls. After 9 p.m. she wouldn't even ANSWER her phone.
The End came when she got us movie matinee passes & I asked if she wanted me to put my arm around her in case the movie got scary.
"You just keep your arm to yourself," she said. Boom.
Then she COMPLETELY stopped answering her phone.
Too bad. She was a nice person, even if she was a little ... slow ....
There was a 28-year-old I met at work & went out with a couple times. She was My Type -- long dark hair, a few extra pounds in the right places, & she went on&ON about how she LOVED to come into the store when I was working. So I asked her out. I figured she was being pretty obvious.
I didn't realize how young she was until we were out drinking coffee & trying to cover the basics. Then I learned she was almost young enough to be my daughter.
I was uneasy, but kind of flattered because I thought she was HOT -- & very open in her conversation, which was also attractive.
But I noticed that as we sat there talking in the cafe, she looked at EVERY GUY who walked by, & that's when it hit me:
She was just Passing Time with The Old Guy until The Right Guy came along. Once that was clear to me, she wasn't so hot anymore.
(To Be Continued....)
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
#643: The Bug 2
The new-music hunt&seek mission continues. On Monday the Girlfriend & I spent mosta the day hitting local 2nd-hand stores looking 4 new sounds & other stuff -- & as a result I probly have enuf new music in the house now 2 last me 4 MONTHS. Also scored some cheap new Motown best-of CD's 2 fill some holes in the at-work motivational-music bag of tricks.
The Girlfriend & I made a good team -- she scouted-out stashes of music I sometimes missed with my bad eyes, & then I dug thru it. I can recommend Jen's Attic in Bremerton, Wash., & the New 2 You Antique Mall in Port Orchard, Wash., as great places 2 track-down 2nd-hand vinyl & CD's at mostly-very-reasonable prices. (& the Port Orchard WalMart had a big bin of cheap new CD's, but this is NOT a commercial.) Here's what we came up with:
The Rip Chords (Bruce Johnston & Terry Melcher) -- HEY LITTLE COBRA.
The Roches -- NURDS.
Al Green -- GREATEST HITS.
Adam Ant -- FRIEND OR FOE.
Cars -- HEARTBEAT CITY.
Focus -- DUTCH MASTERS best-of.
Carole King -- HER GREATEST HITS.
Turtles -- MORE GOLDEN HITS.
Linda Ronstadt -- GREATEST HITS VOLUME 2.
Rascals -- SEE.
J. Geils Band -- BEST OF VOLUME 2.
Gary Lewis & the Playboys -- A SESSION WITH, THIS DIAMOND RING.
The Association -- AND THEN ALONG COMES....
Van Morrison -- BEST OF.
Journey -- INFINITY.
Byrds -- 20 ESSENTIAL TRACKS.
+ cheap new best-of CD's by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles, Diana Ross & the Supremes, the Four Tops, the Temptations, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, & Bob Dylan.
OK, so why? Well, I've been looking 4 a copy of HEY LITTLE COBRA 4 YEARS. Sounds like Beach Boys-lite, sorta. Can't wait 2 put on the gorgeous acapella "Here I Stand," & "Gone" & "The Queen" & "Ding Dong" & all the rest.... Almost put The Roches back when I saw it WASN'T produced by Bob Fripp -- but then noticed 1 of the songs is entitled "The Death of Suzzy Roche," & that's all I needed 2 see ... The Al Green best-of is 2 fill a hole in my '70s Soul collection, & cos "Let's Stay Together" still sounds great.... Adam Ant cos I'm a sucker 4 "Goody Two Shoes" (possibly my themesong?) & "Desperate But Not Serious".... HEARTBEAT CITY because it's the Cars' most consistent album, fulla great songs.... The Focus best-of just so I can hear more, & cos it fits in with my prog/Strange Music weakness.... Carole King's best mostly 4 the beautiful "Been to Canaan".... The Turtles' best-of mainly 4 the gorgeous "Lady-O" -- & also 4 1/2adozen more song titles I don't recognize.... La Ronstadt's best-of mainly 4 "Someone to Lay Down Beside Me" & "Poor Poor Pitiful Me".... The Rascals' mainly 4 the great title song & so I can hear more -- I also put BACK their TIME/PEACE best-of cos I have most of their hits on the original albums already.... The Geils mainly 4 "First I Look at the Purse".... Gary Lewis 4 "Count Me In" & "This Diamond Ring," & Bcos they were cheap ... The Association ditto, & 4 "Along Comes Mary".... Van's best-of Bcos I had his 3-CD STILL ON TOP best-of, loaned it 2 a friend 6 months ago, & haven't seen it since -- which PROVES you should never ever EVER loan books or music 2 friends. I 1nce loaned John McPhee's CURVE OF BINDING ENERGY to a roommate at tech school & he took it back 2 Georgia with him! ... INFINITY cos it's chock-full of good stuff that'll motivate me at work -- I shoulda picked-up Journey's EVOLUTION 4 $5 while I was at it.... The Byrds' best-of doesn't include "Wasn't Born to Follow" (the earliest co-opting of a song 4 an ad that I can think of -- it was turned in2 a Lucky Lager beer commercial around 1969), but almost all of the other essentials R there, with the Xception of the gorgeous "John Riley".... The Motown & BTO CD's R 4 motivational help at work (2 bad "Tramp" isn't included on the BTO), & the Dylan is mainly 4 the great "Tangled Up in Blue" (if "One of Us Must Know" was on it, it'd B essential).
This on top of the last cheaply-purchased batch, & I should have enuf new music 2 listen-2 2 keep me busy until Summer. Hopefully....
Reviews of all these will B coming in the days & weeks ahead....
...Oh, & 1 last thing: Why does everyone jack-up the prices on Beatles albums that have ALWAYS been available, that have NEVER been out of print? In R searches on Mon, I tripped over copies of the WHITE ALBUM, SGT. PEPPER, REVOLVER, RUBBER SOUL, HELP! -- & in each case the owners wanted $25 each! Why?! They're not RARE. R they asking that much just cos they survived the '60s?
The Girlfriend & I made a good team -- she scouted-out stashes of music I sometimes missed with my bad eyes, & then I dug thru it. I can recommend Jen's Attic in Bremerton, Wash., & the New 2 You Antique Mall in Port Orchard, Wash., as great places 2 track-down 2nd-hand vinyl & CD's at mostly-very-reasonable prices. (& the Port Orchard WalMart had a big bin of cheap new CD's, but this is NOT a commercial.) Here's what we came up with:
The Rip Chords (Bruce Johnston & Terry Melcher) -- HEY LITTLE COBRA.
The Roches -- NURDS.
Al Green -- GREATEST HITS.
Adam Ant -- FRIEND OR FOE.
Cars -- HEARTBEAT CITY.
Focus -- DUTCH MASTERS best-of.
Carole King -- HER GREATEST HITS.
Turtles -- MORE GOLDEN HITS.
Linda Ronstadt -- GREATEST HITS VOLUME 2.
Rascals -- SEE.
J. Geils Band -- BEST OF VOLUME 2.
Gary Lewis & the Playboys -- A SESSION WITH, THIS DIAMOND RING.
The Association -- AND THEN ALONG COMES....
Van Morrison -- BEST OF.
Journey -- INFINITY.
Byrds -- 20 ESSENTIAL TRACKS.
+ cheap new best-of CD's by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles, Diana Ross & the Supremes, the Four Tops, the Temptations, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, & Bob Dylan.
OK, so why? Well, I've been looking 4 a copy of HEY LITTLE COBRA 4 YEARS. Sounds like Beach Boys-lite, sorta. Can't wait 2 put on the gorgeous acapella "Here I Stand," & "Gone" & "The Queen" & "Ding Dong" & all the rest.... Almost put The Roches back when I saw it WASN'T produced by Bob Fripp -- but then noticed 1 of the songs is entitled "The Death of Suzzy Roche," & that's all I needed 2 see ... The Al Green best-of is 2 fill a hole in my '70s Soul collection, & cos "Let's Stay Together" still sounds great.... Adam Ant cos I'm a sucker 4 "Goody Two Shoes" (possibly my themesong?) & "Desperate But Not Serious".... HEARTBEAT CITY because it's the Cars' most consistent album, fulla great songs.... The Focus best-of just so I can hear more, & cos it fits in with my prog/Strange Music weakness.... Carole King's best mostly 4 the beautiful "Been to Canaan".... The Turtles' best-of mainly 4 the gorgeous "Lady-O" -- & also 4 1/2adozen more song titles I don't recognize.... La Ronstadt's best-of mainly 4 "Someone to Lay Down Beside Me" & "Poor Poor Pitiful Me".... The Rascals' mainly 4 the great title song & so I can hear more -- I also put BACK their TIME/PEACE best-of cos I have most of their hits on the original albums already.... The Geils mainly 4 "First I Look at the Purse".... Gary Lewis 4 "Count Me In" & "This Diamond Ring," & Bcos they were cheap ... The Association ditto, & 4 "Along Comes Mary".... Van's best-of Bcos I had his 3-CD STILL ON TOP best-of, loaned it 2 a friend 6 months ago, & haven't seen it since -- which PROVES you should never ever EVER loan books or music 2 friends. I 1nce loaned John McPhee's CURVE OF BINDING ENERGY to a roommate at tech school & he took it back 2 Georgia with him! ... INFINITY cos it's chock-full of good stuff that'll motivate me at work -- I shoulda picked-up Journey's EVOLUTION 4 $5 while I was at it.... The Byrds' best-of doesn't include "Wasn't Born to Follow" (the earliest co-opting of a song 4 an ad that I can think of -- it was turned in2 a Lucky Lager beer commercial around 1969), but almost all of the other essentials R there, with the Xception of the gorgeous "John Riley".... The Motown & BTO CD's R 4 motivational help at work (2 bad "Tramp" isn't included on the BTO), & the Dylan is mainly 4 the great "Tangled Up in Blue" (if "One of Us Must Know" was on it, it'd B essential).
This on top of the last cheaply-purchased batch, & I should have enuf new music 2 listen-2 2 keep me busy until Summer. Hopefully....
Reviews of all these will B coming in the days & weeks ahead....
...Oh, & 1 last thing: Why does everyone jack-up the prices on Beatles albums that have ALWAYS been available, that have NEVER been out of print? In R searches on Mon, I tripped over copies of the WHITE ALBUM, SGT. PEPPER, REVOLVER, RUBBER SOUL, HELP! -- & in each case the owners wanted $25 each! Why?! They're not RARE. R they asking that much just cos they survived the '60s?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
#551: 2 months on Match.com!
Maybe it woulda gone better if I'd posted a photo quicker.
On the other hand, that mighta made it worse....
Awhile back I decided maybe I wasn't dead after all (romantically speaking), that I'd probly never get all my Issues with my old girlfriend cleared-up 2 my complete satisfaction, & that I was probly lonelier than I'd ever admit.
So after shopping around 4 a bit, I decided 2 put myself out there & joined Match.com, an on-line dating website.
I was XTREMELY nervous about this, so I joined 4 a month at a time, which cost me more. I ended up spending $70 I couldn't really afford, but I learned some things.
I learned that on-line dating has as many rules & points of etiquette as Real Life. That it's just as complicated. That there's just as much mystery & missed connections & questions. There's probly just as much lying 2, but I didn't Xperience that part -- I don't think....
I didn't get 2 meet anybody in Real Life, I didn't go out on a date, it was never even close. At the end of 2 months I gave up, Bcos it never got any better. I was warned not 2 get my hopes up 2 high -- that women dating on-line were liable 2 B REALLY cautious. They WERE, & I don't blame them.
I Xchanged e-mails with 4 or 5 very nice women. But it never went anywhere. They mostly decided I was not the guy for them, & that's fine. I decided 1 woman definitely was not the right gal 4 me.
Any mess-ups were entirely my fault.
I made 1 BIG mess-up early:
It took me A MONTH 2 post a photo.
This is probly the single most important thing I learned: I am a COMPUTER IDIOT. Obviously I know enuf about computers 2 get in trouble with them -- but it took me A MONTH 2 figure out how the webcam on my laptop could be used 2 take photos. It was staring me right in the face the whole time, but I couldn't find my way in2 it, couldn't figure out how 2 access it. When a friend finally showed me how -- & it took less than 10 seconds -- I felt like a complete high-tech moron.
By then the damage was probly already done. I'd had a good time writing a personal profile 4 the site, listing my likes & hopes & dreams & preferences.
But then I learned lotsa women won't respond or even notice a guy who doesn't post a photo. Not fair, but there it is. So I was kinda in a panic about that. I can see how posting a photo lets the ladies out there know that you're not really The Elephant Man ... & on-line dating is all about looks & mutual interests & chemistry, etc. So....
So I finally got a photo posted a month in2 the Xperience -- & then women in my area learned that ... I REALLY DO LOOK LIKE THE ELEPHANT MAN! With a photo posted, I had more women looking at my profile -- at least 2wice as many! ... but fewer women seemed intrested in e-mailing/talking.
By then I had noticed other things about the dating site that struck me as funny, & I updated my profile 2 make note of them. This was probly a bad mistake. But I was trying 2 impress the ladies with my wacky sense of humor, don't ya know. Probly shoulda backed off on that 1, but it's 2 late now....
Like, 4 instance: 90 percent of the women on the site woulda LOVED romantic walks on the beach with an attractive, financially-secure, emotionally-available, passionate mate who Doesn't Play Games.
Well, WHO DOESN'T? But how many of them R available?
So I sorta made fun of that, & then talked about the Reality -- which is 2 say, me.
Tried 2 keep the laffs going: "I've got a job, so I won't be begging you for money!"
"Never been arrested! Haven't had a traffic ticket since 1980!"
"Don't smoke! Don't drink! Nothing stronger than coffee!"
"Boring! Quiet! Loyal as a puppy dog!"
I really tried 2 sell it, such as it is. I was probly a little TOO honest.
1 very nice woman said she absolutely loved my profile -- it made her laff a lot. But she was looking 4 some1 whose income she could retire on....
Hey, I'm looking 4 some1 whose income I CAN RETIRE ON, 2.... Can't really blame her, I guess.
1 of the neat things about dating sites is that every day they point you toward profiles -- little autobiographies -- of folks they think you might B compatible with, based on yer intrests, likes & dislikes, etc. At 1st I was fascinated by those profiles. Some of them were VERY intimate, like reading poetry. Some of these women had obviously thot about what they wanted quite a lot....
Then the profiles started getting kinda same-y. EVERYBODY wants romantic walks on the beach with an attractive, financially-secure etc. etc. etc....
I started skimming the profiles. I stopped bothering 2 read profiles written by women whose photos made them look older than my mother. I stopped reading profiles that had misspelled words in them -- yes, ME, having issues with bad spelling! I KNOW! Unfair, impatient, uncaring -- but true.
Some of the profiles were actually 2 sad 2 read. More than 1 Asian lady wrote that they wanted -- I PROMISE I'm NOT making this up -- "A nice man. Man who don't drink too much. Man who don't smoke too much. Man who not yell. Man who not angry all time. Man who don't want sex first thing. That not first thing I want."
I felt sorry for those women. I thot they painted a real clear picture of what their previous relationships were like -- of what A LOT of relationships seem 2 B like these days....
Don't get me wrong -- it was a fun Xperiment. I might even go back 4 more. But I coulda bought a lot of books & music 4 $70, so I think I might just rely on Reality 2 meet new women from now on.
Dating sites R full of people (women, at least) who still believe in The Myth Of Love -- in Chemistry, in Meeting The Right One, The Love Who Will Last Forever.
Hell, I still believe in all that. At least I WANT to. I probly shouldn't have made fun of it. Even in the intrest of Keeping Things Light.
Because Life doesn't get much more Personal than that.
On the other hand, that mighta made it worse....
Awhile back I decided maybe I wasn't dead after all (romantically speaking), that I'd probly never get all my Issues with my old girlfriend cleared-up 2 my complete satisfaction, & that I was probly lonelier than I'd ever admit.
So after shopping around 4 a bit, I decided 2 put myself out there & joined Match.com, an on-line dating website.
I was XTREMELY nervous about this, so I joined 4 a month at a time, which cost me more. I ended up spending $70 I couldn't really afford, but I learned some things.
I learned that on-line dating has as many rules & points of etiquette as Real Life. That it's just as complicated. That there's just as much mystery & missed connections & questions. There's probly just as much lying 2, but I didn't Xperience that part -- I don't think....
I didn't get 2 meet anybody in Real Life, I didn't go out on a date, it was never even close. At the end of 2 months I gave up, Bcos it never got any better. I was warned not 2 get my hopes up 2 high -- that women dating on-line were liable 2 B REALLY cautious. They WERE, & I don't blame them.
I Xchanged e-mails with 4 or 5 very nice women. But it never went anywhere. They mostly decided I was not the guy for them, & that's fine. I decided 1 woman definitely was not the right gal 4 me.
Any mess-ups were entirely my fault.
I made 1 BIG mess-up early:
It took me A MONTH 2 post a photo.
This is probly the single most important thing I learned: I am a COMPUTER IDIOT. Obviously I know enuf about computers 2 get in trouble with them -- but it took me A MONTH 2 figure out how the webcam on my laptop could be used 2 take photos. It was staring me right in the face the whole time, but I couldn't find my way in2 it, couldn't figure out how 2 access it. When a friend finally showed me how -- & it took less than 10 seconds -- I felt like a complete high-tech moron.
By then the damage was probly already done. I'd had a good time writing a personal profile 4 the site, listing my likes & hopes & dreams & preferences.
But then I learned lotsa women won't respond or even notice a guy who doesn't post a photo. Not fair, but there it is. So I was kinda in a panic about that. I can see how posting a photo lets the ladies out there know that you're not really The Elephant Man ... & on-line dating is all about looks & mutual interests & chemistry, etc. So....
So I finally got a photo posted a month in2 the Xperience -- & then women in my area learned that ... I REALLY DO LOOK LIKE THE ELEPHANT MAN! With a photo posted, I had more women looking at my profile -- at least 2wice as many! ... but fewer women seemed intrested in e-mailing/talking.
By then I had noticed other things about the dating site that struck me as funny, & I updated my profile 2 make note of them. This was probly a bad mistake. But I was trying 2 impress the ladies with my wacky sense of humor, don't ya know. Probly shoulda backed off on that 1, but it's 2 late now....
Like, 4 instance: 90 percent of the women on the site woulda LOVED romantic walks on the beach with an attractive, financially-secure, emotionally-available, passionate mate who Doesn't Play Games.
Well, WHO DOESN'T? But how many of them R available?
So I sorta made fun of that, & then talked about the Reality -- which is 2 say, me.
Tried 2 keep the laffs going: "I've got a job, so I won't be begging you for money!"
"Never been arrested! Haven't had a traffic ticket since 1980!"
"Don't smoke! Don't drink! Nothing stronger than coffee!"
"Boring! Quiet! Loyal as a puppy dog!"
I really tried 2 sell it, such as it is. I was probly a little TOO honest.
1 very nice woman said she absolutely loved my profile -- it made her laff a lot. But she was looking 4 some1 whose income she could retire on....
Hey, I'm looking 4 some1 whose income I CAN RETIRE ON, 2.... Can't really blame her, I guess.
1 of the neat things about dating sites is that every day they point you toward profiles -- little autobiographies -- of folks they think you might B compatible with, based on yer intrests, likes & dislikes, etc. At 1st I was fascinated by those profiles. Some of them were VERY intimate, like reading poetry. Some of these women had obviously thot about what they wanted quite a lot....
Then the profiles started getting kinda same-y. EVERYBODY wants romantic walks on the beach with an attractive, financially-secure etc. etc. etc....
I started skimming the profiles. I stopped bothering 2 read profiles written by women whose photos made them look older than my mother. I stopped reading profiles that had misspelled words in them -- yes, ME, having issues with bad spelling! I KNOW! Unfair, impatient, uncaring -- but true.
Some of the profiles were actually 2 sad 2 read. More than 1 Asian lady wrote that they wanted -- I PROMISE I'm NOT making this up -- "A nice man. Man who don't drink too much. Man who don't smoke too much. Man who not yell. Man who not angry all time. Man who don't want sex first thing. That not first thing I want."
I felt sorry for those women. I thot they painted a real clear picture of what their previous relationships were like -- of what A LOT of relationships seem 2 B like these days....
Don't get me wrong -- it was a fun Xperiment. I might even go back 4 more. But I coulda bought a lot of books & music 4 $70, so I think I might just rely on Reality 2 meet new women from now on.
Dating sites R full of people (women, at least) who still believe in The Myth Of Love -- in Chemistry, in Meeting The Right One, The Love Who Will Last Forever.
Hell, I still believe in all that. At least I WANT to. I probly shouldn't have made fun of it. Even in the intrest of Keeping Things Light.
Because Life doesn't get much more Personal than that.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
#540: The worst Prom date EVER
So, you think maybe you've had some bad dates? Yeah, uh huh, sure. Ever had your date interrupted by YOUR JOB?
Spring 2000: The X-wife had moved out months earlier, taking the only working vehicle, emptying the checking account, & leaving me to feed our 2 kids with absolutely NO kitchen skills. Lucky the 3 of us didn't starve 2 death. But I'm not bitter.
Confused, heartbroken & lonely, a co-worker at my then-newspaper job tells me she knows some1 who'd love 2 meet me. She sez this unknown woman is Pretty Hot, too. Bring her on, I say, trying to put on a brave face. My co-worker sets us up.
This unknown woman calls me later the same nite. We talk. She has a nice voice, seems friendly. I make her laff. A lot. She's a great audience. We spend a couple hrs gabbing. We agree 2 go out the following Sat nite.
Meanwhile, the Evil Management at my then-Newspaper job (the Willapa Harbor Herald, Raymond, Wash.; look them up & complain 12 years late, they'll just ignore you -- that's what they always did with ME when I worked there) hatches a plot 2 destroy my life:
Late Fri aft, the Evil Editor tells the rest of us Lowlife Minions that he was told by the Clueless Publisher 2 go photograph the local highschool Prom, 25 miles up the road in Aberdeen, on Sat nite. But Ed sez even tho he's gonna B right down the street at WalMart while the Prom's goin on, he's not gonna bother stoppin in 4 pictures of the Prom Royalty, & he's gonna tell Clueless Pub 2 Pound It.
We cheer. Ed's not such a bad guy sometimes.
Fast-forward 2 Sat aft, I'm getting ready 4 my Big Date. Phone rings. Ed sez there's bn a change of plans. I've now bn assigned 2 photoize the Prom.
Ed knows I have no car, no $$$, no way 2 get there. What he doesn't know is I have a date the same nite. So I tell him this. Can't he find NE1 else? Some1 with a CAR? He's gonna B 5 mins down the road at WalMart with his family -- can't he just pop in 4 a few quick photos?
"No," he sez. "YOU do it, or else you're fired."
I take a deep breath. This has bn building 4 months. It's all a conspiracy 2 get me 2 quit. The writing's on the wall. No matter how good a reporter I am, I'm 2 big a pain in the ass 2 deal with, & they don't know how 2 get rid of me. I won't quit -- they'll havta fire me.
I dive in. The phone conversation quickly descends in2 screaming & threats, all by me. Ed hangs up. I scream some more, then call Clueless Pub.
Can I at least use the Company Van so I can GET 2 the Prom? "No," he sez, "find out some other way to get there."
What the Hell am I sposta do? WALK?
"Cover it, or you're fired."
More screaming & threats, also all by me. Pub hangs up.
My daughter -- a very mature 9 years old at the time, who has chosen 2 spend the weekend with me rather than go see her Mother 4 the weekend on Fri -- has heard me screaming in2 the phone 4 the past 15 mins. She wonders if maybe I've lost it. I reassure her: I HAVE.
There's only 1 thing 2 do. We sit on the couch & wait 4 my date, who's already en route 2 my house. This is going 2 B an intresting evening....
My date -- I can't remember her name, but let's call her Trudy -- arrives within the hour. She's a fairly attractive blonde, pleasant & friendly -- & with a pair of breasts approximately the size of New Jersey. (Thank you, David Steinberg....)
She takes a seat on the couch & I make my pitch: If she doesn't mind hauling me 25 miles up the road to Aberdeen so I can take a few quick photos at the Prom, then we can go out 2 dinner afterward. We can talk on the way there. She can get 2 know my charming daughter -- who I wasn't Xpecting 2 have home for the weekend. I know it looks like a total disaster, but we might B able 2 salvage a nice nite from it if she can forgive me & bear with me.
I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd told me 2 Stick It. But Ghod bless her, she said Sure, Why Not?, I Didn't Have Anything Else Planned Anyway.... & other nice things people say when they're stuck in an Mbarrassing no-win situation.
So we hit the road & talk along the way. She's really nice. She laughs at all my bad jokes. She banters with my daughter. I start thinking I may B on2 Something Good here.
But I'm wrong. The disaster is still ahead.
We arrive. The ballroom is PACKED. It's DARK. There's a TON of highschool kids here. I leave Trudy & my daughter on a bench near the door & promise I won't take long.
I'm lying.
It's REALLY DARK. When I look in2 the camera, I can't C what I'm pointing it at. & this lame, primitive early-model digital camera won't focus or shoot without enuf lite. I hang from the ceiling, I pose in lighted doorways, I perch behind spotlites -- there isn't enuf lite in the ballroom 4 me 2 shoot. The flash on the camera won't even kick-in 2 help me lite things up, the room is so friggin dark.
I blow what seems like 2 hrs trying 2 get 1 decent shot. Finally, they announce the Prom Royalty & I drag them outside under some of the ballroom's outside-walkway lites 2 have enuf lite overhead 2 get some faces in focus. I take 1/2adozen awful, poorly-lit, posed photos & realize that's the best I'm gonna get. By then it's nearly 11 pm.
Me, my daughter & Trudy stumble out of the ballroom & set off 2 try 2 find a late dinner. I've learned that in the 2 hrs I've bn hanging from fixtures & begging highschool kids 2 B patient & give me some room, Trudy & my daughter have gotten 2 know each other pretty well. Wish I could say the same....
I am stunned 2 find there's NOTHING still open in Aberdeen. McDonald's is closing down, they won't even serve us up 3 measly cheeseburgers. A really good Oriental-food buffet closed at 10 -- there is NOTHING left.
We all heave a sigh -- my daughter is starting 2 get tired & cranky -- & Trudy drives us back home. It's really quiet in the car on the way back. I don't see how the evening could get any worse.
In the driveway, I let my daughter in2 the house, then turn back 2 the car. "I'm really sorry about this," I begin....
"It's OK," Trudy sez. "It wasn't that bad. I had a good time. You're funny, and your daughter's an angel."
"You're lying," I say. "At least about SOME of it. But will you forgive me? Can we try this again when I don't have to work?"
"Sure," she sez, & smiles. & I think: Maybe this isn't such a disaster after all.
"I'll call you," she sez. & she drives away.
Monday: Trudy hasn't called, of course. I'm angry, the photos I wasted a date 4 look like crap, & nobody at work will talk 2 me -- until my & Trudy's Mutual Friend comes in & stares at me.
"Man, what happened?!" she sez. "You really F'd that one up! Trudy says don't bother to call her -- she's not interested in seeing you again. She says there was no 'spark' there at all."
Yeah, This Just In. No Suprises Here. She was a really nice taxi service, tho....
(This post is 4 Allison, who nudged me....)
Spring 2000: The X-wife had moved out months earlier, taking the only working vehicle, emptying the checking account, & leaving me to feed our 2 kids with absolutely NO kitchen skills. Lucky the 3 of us didn't starve 2 death. But I'm not bitter.
Confused, heartbroken & lonely, a co-worker at my then-newspaper job tells me she knows some1 who'd love 2 meet me. She sez this unknown woman is Pretty Hot, too. Bring her on, I say, trying to put on a brave face. My co-worker sets us up.
This unknown woman calls me later the same nite. We talk. She has a nice voice, seems friendly. I make her laff. A lot. She's a great audience. We spend a couple hrs gabbing. We agree 2 go out the following Sat nite.
Meanwhile, the Evil Management at my then-Newspaper job (the Willapa Harbor Herald, Raymond, Wash.; look them up & complain 12 years late, they'll just ignore you -- that's what they always did with ME when I worked there) hatches a plot 2 destroy my life:
Late Fri aft, the Evil Editor tells the rest of us Lowlife Minions that he was told by the Clueless Publisher 2 go photograph the local highschool Prom, 25 miles up the road in Aberdeen, on Sat nite. But Ed sez even tho he's gonna B right down the street at WalMart while the Prom's goin on, he's not gonna bother stoppin in 4 pictures of the Prom Royalty, & he's gonna tell Clueless Pub 2 Pound It.
We cheer. Ed's not such a bad guy sometimes.
Fast-forward 2 Sat aft, I'm getting ready 4 my Big Date. Phone rings. Ed sez there's bn a change of plans. I've now bn assigned 2 photoize the Prom.
Ed knows I have no car, no $$$, no way 2 get there. What he doesn't know is I have a date the same nite. So I tell him this. Can't he find NE1 else? Some1 with a CAR? He's gonna B 5 mins down the road at WalMart with his family -- can't he just pop in 4 a few quick photos?
"No," he sez. "YOU do it, or else you're fired."
I take a deep breath. This has bn building 4 months. It's all a conspiracy 2 get me 2 quit. The writing's on the wall. No matter how good a reporter I am, I'm 2 big a pain in the ass 2 deal with, & they don't know how 2 get rid of me. I won't quit -- they'll havta fire me.
I dive in. The phone conversation quickly descends in2 screaming & threats, all by me. Ed hangs up. I scream some more, then call Clueless Pub.
Can I at least use the Company Van so I can GET 2 the Prom? "No," he sez, "find out some other way to get there."
What the Hell am I sposta do? WALK?
"Cover it, or you're fired."
More screaming & threats, also all by me. Pub hangs up.
My daughter -- a very mature 9 years old at the time, who has chosen 2 spend the weekend with me rather than go see her Mother 4 the weekend on Fri -- has heard me screaming in2 the phone 4 the past 15 mins. She wonders if maybe I've lost it. I reassure her: I HAVE.
There's only 1 thing 2 do. We sit on the couch & wait 4 my date, who's already en route 2 my house. This is going 2 B an intresting evening....
My date -- I can't remember her name, but let's call her Trudy -- arrives within the hour. She's a fairly attractive blonde, pleasant & friendly -- & with a pair of breasts approximately the size of New Jersey. (Thank you, David Steinberg....)
She takes a seat on the couch & I make my pitch: If she doesn't mind hauling me 25 miles up the road to Aberdeen so I can take a few quick photos at the Prom, then we can go out 2 dinner afterward. We can talk on the way there. She can get 2 know my charming daughter -- who I wasn't Xpecting 2 have home for the weekend. I know it looks like a total disaster, but we might B able 2 salvage a nice nite from it if she can forgive me & bear with me.
I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd told me 2 Stick It. But Ghod bless her, she said Sure, Why Not?, I Didn't Have Anything Else Planned Anyway.... & other nice things people say when they're stuck in an Mbarrassing no-win situation.
So we hit the road & talk along the way. She's really nice. She laughs at all my bad jokes. She banters with my daughter. I start thinking I may B on2 Something Good here.
But I'm wrong. The disaster is still ahead.
We arrive. The ballroom is PACKED. It's DARK. There's a TON of highschool kids here. I leave Trudy & my daughter on a bench near the door & promise I won't take long.
I'm lying.
It's REALLY DARK. When I look in2 the camera, I can't C what I'm pointing it at. & this lame, primitive early-model digital camera won't focus or shoot without enuf lite. I hang from the ceiling, I pose in lighted doorways, I perch behind spotlites -- there isn't enuf lite in the ballroom 4 me 2 shoot. The flash on the camera won't even kick-in 2 help me lite things up, the room is so friggin dark.
I blow what seems like 2 hrs trying 2 get 1 decent shot. Finally, they announce the Prom Royalty & I drag them outside under some of the ballroom's outside-walkway lites 2 have enuf lite overhead 2 get some faces in focus. I take 1/2adozen awful, poorly-lit, posed photos & realize that's the best I'm gonna get. By then it's nearly 11 pm.
Me, my daughter & Trudy stumble out of the ballroom & set off 2 try 2 find a late dinner. I've learned that in the 2 hrs I've bn hanging from fixtures & begging highschool kids 2 B patient & give me some room, Trudy & my daughter have gotten 2 know each other pretty well. Wish I could say the same....
I am stunned 2 find there's NOTHING still open in Aberdeen. McDonald's is closing down, they won't even serve us up 3 measly cheeseburgers. A really good Oriental-food buffet closed at 10 -- there is NOTHING left.
We all heave a sigh -- my daughter is starting 2 get tired & cranky -- & Trudy drives us back home. It's really quiet in the car on the way back. I don't see how the evening could get any worse.
In the driveway, I let my daughter in2 the house, then turn back 2 the car. "I'm really sorry about this," I begin....
"It's OK," Trudy sez. "It wasn't that bad. I had a good time. You're funny, and your daughter's an angel."
"You're lying," I say. "At least about SOME of it. But will you forgive me? Can we try this again when I don't have to work?"
"Sure," she sez, & smiles. & I think: Maybe this isn't such a disaster after all.
"I'll call you," she sez. & she drives away.
Monday: Trudy hasn't called, of course. I'm angry, the photos I wasted a date 4 look like crap, & nobody at work will talk 2 me -- until my & Trudy's Mutual Friend comes in & stares at me.
"Man, what happened?!" she sez. "You really F'd that one up! Trudy says don't bother to call her -- she's not interested in seeing you again. She says there was no 'spark' there at all."
Yeah, This Just In. No Suprises Here. She was a really nice taxi service, tho....
(This post is 4 Allison, who nudged me....)
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Last Exit
It's April 1979 & I'm sitting in a cold & drafty coffeehouse called The Last Exit in Seattle's University District, not far from the University of Washington's huge red-cobblestoned courtyard.
It's cold, rainy & foggy outside, & drafty inside, where moisture is condensing on the inside of the windows, barely reflected in the pale interior light. I realize I haven't been this cold & wet in a LONG time.
I'm no dummy -- I know it rains a lot in Washington, I went 2 junior-highschool here, & I remembered the way the rain usedta POUR down 4 DAYS. But that was when I was younger & that stuff didn't bother me -- sometimes I'd even go out & wander around in it....
The espresso I'm trying 2 force down is pretty bitter 2 -- not at all what I expected. How can I drink coffee with NO SUGAR?
Up at the front of the room, some Bob Dylan wanna-be is singing as he strums his guitar. I'm not a big Dylan fan but somehow I know that Bob is Safe.
I'm in Seattle with my highschool sweetheart Allison, 2 visit our old college friend Melissa, who has an apartment within walking distance of the UW. Somehow, Al & I have survived me driving a huge old (mid-'60s) boat-sized Chevy stationwagon 600+ miles from Boise, Idaho all across Oregon & then north 2 Seattle. Amazingly, the car didn't break down. & Al & I R still talking 2 each other. In fact, we're closer than we've been in 2 years.
The only mistake we made was relying on the radio 2 help fight the boredom. The Chevy didn't have a tape-player. There Rn't 2 many radio stations in the wilds of Eastern Oregon. & when we came up over a hill just east of Baker, suddenly the radio Al had been trying 2 coax 2 life erupted in what sounded like The Voice Of Ghod: "AND NOW THE ADVENTURES OF GOD'S OWN AGRICULTURALIST, GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER...." Somehow we survived that 2....
Melissa's apt is a tiny dorm-style room -- she spends mosta her time at her boyfriend Jim's apt, which is on the 14th floor of a building that towers over the U District. Turns out Jim's a pretty big progressive-rock fan. As we talk, he pulls out old albums by The Nice (ARS LONGA VITA BREVIS, THE THOUGHTS OF EMERLIST DAVJACK, WINTER TO SPRING, THE IMMEDIATE STORY), Manfred Mann's Earth Band (MESSIN', GET YOUR ROCKS OFF, SOLAR FIRE, THE GOOD EARTH, NIGHTINGALES AND BOMBERS), & Roxy Music (COUNTRY LIFE, STRANDED). Some of this he even puts on the stereo, & it sounds pretty good. Most of it I'll never hear again....
His musical intrests go with mine, & we get along OK. After all, I'm the guy who stuffed 30+ albums in2 a box & packed them in the car cos I didn't think I could get thru a week without them. I packed music B4 I packed CLOTHES. I don't think I played more than a couple albums during the entire week we were in Seattle. But somehow I couldn't have managed without Camel's BREATHLESS & Providence's EVER SENSE THE DAWN & Gryphon's RED QUEEN TO GRYPHON THREE & Caravan's FOR GIRLS WHO GROW PLUMP IN THE NIGHT.
Turns out the U District is a good neighborhood 4 prog fans -- there's 1/2adozen used record stores in 1 block along University Blvd. -- I walk in2 the 1st 1 & I feel like I've Come Home: There's a huge cut-out stand-up of Soft Machine from their 1st album along the top of 1 record cabinet. There's stuff hanging from the ceiling & weird album covers all around. I think I'm already pretty well-informed musically, & I've got NO IDEA what mosta this stuff is....
1 shop is looking 4 help, so I apply. It's a million-2-1 shot that I'll actually get the job & B able 2 stay in Seattle, but I love the atmosphere of the U District -- not just the used record stores, but the used bookstores & 1 great little cozy Chinese restaurant -- SO MUCH more Xciting & intresting than Boise, where I've lived most of my life up 2 this point....
The record store gives me a Rock trivia test over the phone -- I botch about 1/2 of it. I don't get the job. But tho I'm bummed, at least I've got all this great atmosphere 2 drink up.... I never do get thru that bitter espresso, tho.
Al loves the atmosphere 2, & vows 2 come back -- & she does, less than a year later. I'm supposed 2 follow her there, but instead I get hired by my favorite record store in Boise, & decide 2 stay. The record store job lasts 3 years & 4 awhile I have a place of my own (low-rent as it was). But eventually the job ends badly & I end up unemployed 4 a year & finally join the Air Force.
It takes me 16 years 2 get back 2 Washington & I never go back 2 The Last Exit -- but I know the U District is still there, & I'm told there R still tons of used book & record stores 2 wander thru. I've got 2 get back over there someday....
It's cold, rainy & foggy outside, & drafty inside, where moisture is condensing on the inside of the windows, barely reflected in the pale interior light. I realize I haven't been this cold & wet in a LONG time.
I'm no dummy -- I know it rains a lot in Washington, I went 2 junior-highschool here, & I remembered the way the rain usedta POUR down 4 DAYS. But that was when I was younger & that stuff didn't bother me -- sometimes I'd even go out & wander around in it....
The espresso I'm trying 2 force down is pretty bitter 2 -- not at all what I expected. How can I drink coffee with NO SUGAR?
Up at the front of the room, some Bob Dylan wanna-be is singing as he strums his guitar. I'm not a big Dylan fan but somehow I know that Bob is Safe.
I'm in Seattle with my highschool sweetheart Allison, 2 visit our old college friend Melissa, who has an apartment within walking distance of the UW. Somehow, Al & I have survived me driving a huge old (mid-'60s) boat-sized Chevy stationwagon 600+ miles from Boise, Idaho all across Oregon & then north 2 Seattle. Amazingly, the car didn't break down. & Al & I R still talking 2 each other. In fact, we're closer than we've been in 2 years.
The only mistake we made was relying on the radio 2 help fight the boredom. The Chevy didn't have a tape-player. There Rn't 2 many radio stations in the wilds of Eastern Oregon. & when we came up over a hill just east of Baker, suddenly the radio Al had been trying 2 coax 2 life erupted in what sounded like The Voice Of Ghod: "AND NOW THE ADVENTURES OF GOD'S OWN AGRICULTURALIST, GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER...." Somehow we survived that 2....
Melissa's apt is a tiny dorm-style room -- she spends mosta her time at her boyfriend Jim's apt, which is on the 14th floor of a building that towers over the U District. Turns out Jim's a pretty big progressive-rock fan. As we talk, he pulls out old albums by The Nice (ARS LONGA VITA BREVIS, THE THOUGHTS OF EMERLIST DAVJACK, WINTER TO SPRING, THE IMMEDIATE STORY), Manfred Mann's Earth Band (MESSIN', GET YOUR ROCKS OFF, SOLAR FIRE, THE GOOD EARTH, NIGHTINGALES AND BOMBERS), & Roxy Music (COUNTRY LIFE, STRANDED). Some of this he even puts on the stereo, & it sounds pretty good. Most of it I'll never hear again....
His musical intrests go with mine, & we get along OK. After all, I'm the guy who stuffed 30+ albums in2 a box & packed them in the car cos I didn't think I could get thru a week without them. I packed music B4 I packed CLOTHES. I don't think I played more than a couple albums during the entire week we were in Seattle. But somehow I couldn't have managed without Camel's BREATHLESS & Providence's EVER SENSE THE DAWN & Gryphon's RED QUEEN TO GRYPHON THREE & Caravan's FOR GIRLS WHO GROW PLUMP IN THE NIGHT.
Turns out the U District is a good neighborhood 4 prog fans -- there's 1/2adozen used record stores in 1 block along University Blvd. -- I walk in2 the 1st 1 & I feel like I've Come Home: There's a huge cut-out stand-up of Soft Machine from their 1st album along the top of 1 record cabinet. There's stuff hanging from the ceiling & weird album covers all around. I think I'm already pretty well-informed musically, & I've got NO IDEA what mosta this stuff is....
1 shop is looking 4 help, so I apply. It's a million-2-1 shot that I'll actually get the job & B able 2 stay in Seattle, but I love the atmosphere of the U District -- not just the used record stores, but the used bookstores & 1 great little cozy Chinese restaurant -- SO MUCH more Xciting & intresting than Boise, where I've lived most of my life up 2 this point....
The record store gives me a Rock trivia test over the phone -- I botch about 1/2 of it. I don't get the job. But tho I'm bummed, at least I've got all this great atmosphere 2 drink up.... I never do get thru that bitter espresso, tho.
Al loves the atmosphere 2, & vows 2 come back -- & she does, less than a year later. I'm supposed 2 follow her there, but instead I get hired by my favorite record store in Boise, & decide 2 stay. The record store job lasts 3 years & 4 awhile I have a place of my own (low-rent as it was). But eventually the job ends badly & I end up unemployed 4 a year & finally join the Air Force.
It takes me 16 years 2 get back 2 Washington & I never go back 2 The Last Exit -- but I know the U District is still there, & I'm told there R still tons of used book & record stores 2 wander thru. I've got 2 get back over there someday....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Roommates....
OK, I'm gonna B ranting & raving & bitching here 4 awhile (as usual), so if U wanna change channels right now I don't blame you.... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
So I have this roommate, J, who I've shared a house with 4 the past 3-1/2 yrs. It's HIS house. I just rent a room here.
I always pay my rent on time, I clean up after myself, I wash the dishes & throw out the trash & mow the lawn & pick-up the mail. A few times a year I try 2 cook something without poisoning us. When $$$ gets tight I sometimes find a way 2 cough up some Xtra cash. When the washer died, my income-tax return bought a new 1. When the lawnmower died, my tax return bought a new 1. When I KILLED the lawnmower awhile back, I paid 4 the repairs. But J never seems 2 remember this.
I don't play my strange music 2 loud (& never when J's at home) & I don't make much noise mosta the time. I'm not a real social person. I read & write & play my strange music & go 2 work, & if I can B left alone with what personal time I have left, that suits me just fine.
I know I'm grumpy & moody, that I can B a challenge 2 live with. I've bn like this mosta my life. I'm probly not gonna change much now.
J's a good guy & his heart's in the right place. He's gone a long way out 4 me, more than 1nce. If I have car troubles, he can usually fix them. Awhile back when I managed 2 boil-over the car radiator & kill the car's battery at the same time, J bought me a new battery & a new thermostat. & I paid him back in full the next time I got paid.
...But he drinks. A lot. & when he does, some pretty freakin' ugly things come out of his mouth.
J thinks he doesn't drink that much. He thinks he's cut back. He only drinks 3 or 4 18-packs a week, now. & he wonders why no women will go out with him. If they heard what he sez about them when he's drunk, they'd never get NEAR him.
If anybody wants anything from J, money or a favor, all they needta do is wait & ask him when he's drunk -- they won't havta wait long, & he'll give in every time. (He was drunk when I asked 2 borrow the $$$ 4 a new computer a coupla yrs back -- I'm no saint, either. I know how things work....) He'll especially give in if the person asking 4 the favor is a woman -- he'll do almost anything 4 a little attention.
J has 1 DWI conviction on his record -- & he knows if he ever gets another he'll lose his job. But that doesn't keep him from driving 2 the store when he's had a few. If he's drunk enuf, he'll blow $300 at the grocery store, or more at Wal-Mart. It's happened more than 1nce.
The worst part, 4 me, is that he's LONELY -- & that gets worse if he's been drinking. The 1st coupla yrs I lived here, I can't remember how many times we were up til 4 am just TALKING -- J usedta B able 2 do LONG monologues about how much his job sucked, & he'd never let the audience get a word in -- he just needed 2 get the frustration out, no matter how long it took. 1 time when he was REALLY shitfaced he told me the same story about work 3 times within 10 mins....
When he's had a few, he likes 2 turn on CNN, turn it up & start solving the world's problems. Sometimes he has some really good ideas, 2. But it depends on how much he's had 2 drink. Sometimes he'll feel sorry 4 all the hungry, homeless people Out There -- & a few mins later he'll B absolutely SURE that each 1 of those hungry, homeless people R sucking up his tax dollars -- why don't they just get a freakin' JOB?! .... I could live with this, but he Bcomes such an expert, such a freaking KNOW-IT-ALL after a few drinks -- he knows everything, he's done everything, & I haven't done shit.
Awhile back when I came home from my vacation, the 1st thing outta his mouth (he was shitfaced) was: "What are YOU gonna cook for dinner?!" Then, when he didn't want what I suggested, he said: "I'm sure glad yer back, cos I'm sicka walkin downhill 2 get yer mail...." He said he thot I might not come back from vacation, or that I might come back just long enuf 2 pack my things & move out.... Clearly he was sorta jealous that I went off & hadda good time without him....
Then he suggested we go hit his favorite bar. Trust me, taking me 2 a bar is about as appropriate as me taking J 2 a bookstore or a library -- I've never suggested it. But J won't let the bar thing go, it's always in the back of his mind. He thinks it'll cheer me up. The 1 time we went he blew $140 & then blamed me 4 it.
Leave me alone. That'll cheer me up.
Awhile back we hadda couple other roommates. 1 was a balding wanna-B-biker guy who's favorite phrase was: "Everything's gonna be all right, baby...." He was here 4 a coupla months B4 he fell in love with some1 & moved out. Then we got stuck with 1 of his old girlfriends -- who promised 2 cook & clean & do the dishes in Xchange 4 a break on the rent -- & then never cooked or cleaned. She never paid her rent on time 4 over a year, & I feel like I helped feed her 4 most of that time. Finally she moved out back at the end of Feb. I won't miss her. Not 1 of my favorite people ever.
Recently J has moved 2 a new work shift, so now I see him every day, not just on my days off. 1 of the reasons this arrangement useta work is cos we hardly ever saw each other & I didn't havta deal with what an ugly drunk he can sometimes B. Now I can't avoid him. Is there some kind of law that sez you HAVE 2 converse with the people you live with?
Awhile back, J thot I should try 2 apply 4 a job where he works -- after all the ugly stories I've heard about the place, why would I wanna do THAT? & Bsides, I don't want 2 C my roommate 24/7....
A decade ago, after my divorce & after my X-wife came & took the kids away, I had a huge old 4-bedroom house all to myself.
& I thot the silence was gonna drive me crazy.
Now I'm sure that I'm never going 2 B completely happy until I have my own place & can do what I want, when I want, & not havta worry about stepping on any1 else's toes.
3 more years in Washington will pay all of my major bills, & then it's back 2 Idaho where it's quieter & where at least I've got my family & a coupla old friends I can fall back on.
I'm tired of repressing who I am & what I do, postponing what I want 2 do, & caving-in & doing what a roommate wants 2 do, just 2 keep peace with a roommate.
Who I am & what I do is actually pretty boring, so I don't C why it should B a problem.
If NE of you out there have ever been in this situation -- how'd you put up with it?
...Sorry, this is kinda depressing. I shouldn't bitch. My life ain't so bad. I thot I could get some kinda comedy out of this. ... But I don't think it's gonna happen this time....
So I have this roommate, J, who I've shared a house with 4 the past 3-1/2 yrs. It's HIS house. I just rent a room here.
I always pay my rent on time, I clean up after myself, I wash the dishes & throw out the trash & mow the lawn & pick-up the mail. A few times a year I try 2 cook something without poisoning us. When $$$ gets tight I sometimes find a way 2 cough up some Xtra cash. When the washer died, my income-tax return bought a new 1. When the lawnmower died, my tax return bought a new 1. When I KILLED the lawnmower awhile back, I paid 4 the repairs. But J never seems 2 remember this.
I don't play my strange music 2 loud (& never when J's at home) & I don't make much noise mosta the time. I'm not a real social person. I read & write & play my strange music & go 2 work, & if I can B left alone with what personal time I have left, that suits me just fine.
I know I'm grumpy & moody, that I can B a challenge 2 live with. I've bn like this mosta my life. I'm probly not gonna change much now.
J's a good guy & his heart's in the right place. He's gone a long way out 4 me, more than 1nce. If I have car troubles, he can usually fix them. Awhile back when I managed 2 boil-over the car radiator & kill the car's battery at the same time, J bought me a new battery & a new thermostat. & I paid him back in full the next time I got paid.
...But he drinks. A lot. & when he does, some pretty freakin' ugly things come out of his mouth.
J thinks he doesn't drink that much. He thinks he's cut back. He only drinks 3 or 4 18-packs a week, now. & he wonders why no women will go out with him. If they heard what he sez about them when he's drunk, they'd never get NEAR him.
If anybody wants anything from J, money or a favor, all they needta do is wait & ask him when he's drunk -- they won't havta wait long, & he'll give in every time. (He was drunk when I asked 2 borrow the $$$ 4 a new computer a coupla yrs back -- I'm no saint, either. I know how things work....) He'll especially give in if the person asking 4 the favor is a woman -- he'll do almost anything 4 a little attention.
J has 1 DWI conviction on his record -- & he knows if he ever gets another he'll lose his job. But that doesn't keep him from driving 2 the store when he's had a few. If he's drunk enuf, he'll blow $300 at the grocery store, or more at Wal-Mart. It's happened more than 1nce.
The worst part, 4 me, is that he's LONELY -- & that gets worse if he's been drinking. The 1st coupla yrs I lived here, I can't remember how many times we were up til 4 am just TALKING -- J usedta B able 2 do LONG monologues about how much his job sucked, & he'd never let the audience get a word in -- he just needed 2 get the frustration out, no matter how long it took. 1 time when he was REALLY shitfaced he told me the same story about work 3 times within 10 mins....
When he's had a few, he likes 2 turn on CNN, turn it up & start solving the world's problems. Sometimes he has some really good ideas, 2. But it depends on how much he's had 2 drink. Sometimes he'll feel sorry 4 all the hungry, homeless people Out There -- & a few mins later he'll B absolutely SURE that each 1 of those hungry, homeless people R sucking up his tax dollars -- why don't they just get a freakin' JOB?! .... I could live with this, but he Bcomes such an expert, such a freaking KNOW-IT-ALL after a few drinks -- he knows everything, he's done everything, & I haven't done shit.
Awhile back when I came home from my vacation, the 1st thing outta his mouth (he was shitfaced) was: "What are YOU gonna cook for dinner?!" Then, when he didn't want what I suggested, he said: "I'm sure glad yer back, cos I'm sicka walkin downhill 2 get yer mail...." He said he thot I might not come back from vacation, or that I might come back just long enuf 2 pack my things & move out.... Clearly he was sorta jealous that I went off & hadda good time without him....
Then he suggested we go hit his favorite bar. Trust me, taking me 2 a bar is about as appropriate as me taking J 2 a bookstore or a library -- I've never suggested it. But J won't let the bar thing go, it's always in the back of his mind. He thinks it'll cheer me up. The 1 time we went he blew $140 & then blamed me 4 it.
Leave me alone. That'll cheer me up.
Awhile back we hadda couple other roommates. 1 was a balding wanna-B-biker guy who's favorite phrase was: "Everything's gonna be all right, baby...." He was here 4 a coupla months B4 he fell in love with some1 & moved out. Then we got stuck with 1 of his old girlfriends -- who promised 2 cook & clean & do the dishes in Xchange 4 a break on the rent -- & then never cooked or cleaned. She never paid her rent on time 4 over a year, & I feel like I helped feed her 4 most of that time. Finally she moved out back at the end of Feb. I won't miss her. Not 1 of my favorite people ever.
Recently J has moved 2 a new work shift, so now I see him every day, not just on my days off. 1 of the reasons this arrangement useta work is cos we hardly ever saw each other & I didn't havta deal with what an ugly drunk he can sometimes B. Now I can't avoid him. Is there some kind of law that sez you HAVE 2 converse with the people you live with?
Awhile back, J thot I should try 2 apply 4 a job where he works -- after all the ugly stories I've heard about the place, why would I wanna do THAT? & Bsides, I don't want 2 C my roommate 24/7....
A decade ago, after my divorce & after my X-wife came & took the kids away, I had a huge old 4-bedroom house all to myself.
& I thot the silence was gonna drive me crazy.
Now I'm sure that I'm never going 2 B completely happy until I have my own place & can do what I want, when I want, & not havta worry about stepping on any1 else's toes.
3 more years in Washington will pay all of my major bills, & then it's back 2 Idaho where it's quieter & where at least I've got my family & a coupla old friends I can fall back on.
I'm tired of repressing who I am & what I do, postponing what I want 2 do, & caving-in & doing what a roommate wants 2 do, just 2 keep peace with a roommate.
Who I am & what I do is actually pretty boring, so I don't C why it should B a problem.
If NE of you out there have ever been in this situation -- how'd you put up with it?
...Sorry, this is kinda depressing. I shouldn't bitch. My life ain't so bad. I thot I could get some kinda comedy out of this. ... But I don't think it's gonna happen this time....
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wine, Women & Songs
Well, I don't drink, so....
I think it was Rastro at La Historia De La Musica Rock who touched on the idea of couples having "their song" awhile back. I know lotsa couples have their own "special" song, even if 1 of the parties doesn't particularly LIKE the song in question. 4 many couples, 1 particular piece of music seems 2 sum-up events or recall the time & place of their meeting, attraction, their struggle 2 B together, how good it was when everything worked, etc.
I've been thinking about this ever since, thinking this subject was perfect 4 Valentine's Day. But this post has been delayed by windstorms, rainstorms, 6-hour power-outages, rotten weather in general, bad Internet connections, & a partial loss of nerve.
I don't know about any other couple's special songs, but I know of a few dozen that still conjure up memories of the women I've been attracted 2, married 2, lived with. & here they are....
The 1st girl I remember ever declaring my love 4 was a cute, short, funny brunette named Connie, in Boise, Idaho, in 1975. She was 13. I was 15 at the time. She was sharp -- she seemed to see right thru people, knew everything that was going on, but wouldn't say a word until you asked. I could make her laugh 'til she stopped breathing with my stupid jokes, & I was touched that she thot I was un-dorky enuf 2 laff WITH rather than AT.
When I finally got up the nerve 2 tell her how great I thot she was, she waved me off, saying she'd only hurt me. I couldn't see how, but obviously Connie did: She ended up with my step-brother Jay (I'll write more about him someday, he's more like the subject 4 a book), & after that failed 2 work, less than 3 years later she wound-up pregnant & married. & not to me.
The J. Geils Band's "Must of Got Lost" was the theme song 4 R failed relationship. Tho Connie dodged me 4 my step-brother, she didn't want me 2 B alone -- she tried 2 stick her sister Debbie with me, & that didn't work either....
1 night early in April about a year after I stopped seeing her, Connie called my house claiming 2 B pregnant & implying that I was the father. I was speechless. I'd never even held her hand. The silence stretched until she started laffing & let me in on the April Fool's joke. But I guess the joke came back 2 get her later....
A coupla years later I met Allison, my highschool sweetheart. We made eyes at each other in Newspaper class 4 a coupla months, then she invited me 2 her 17th birthday party over the summer, & B4 that party was over I knew I was in love. & I was scared 2 death. So I wrote her a long letter proclaiming my adoration, then went on a week-long vacation with my family.
When I got back, Al dragged me out 2 talk about this further. She hadta work pretty hard 2 get thru 2 me -- I was painfully shy, I'd never kissed a girl, never held any1 close. She worked thru all that -- Ghod knows why she had the patience. 2 the 17-year-old innocent me she was like a goddess. She pointed out that Simon & Garfunkel's "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" sorta summed-up the fragility of the early part of R relationship.
Al was a big music fan -- if the music was up 2 her classical-based tastes. She could be awfully picky. We both loved the Moody Blues & Providence's EVER SENSE THE DAWN, but most pop music of the day she thot was mush. When running around Boise in her poky '62 Ford Fairlane we'd try 2 sing duets on lite stuff like the Beach Boys' "Sloop John B." She was a big Paul Simon fan, 2 -- out of nowhere she'd start singing "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." While driving around she'd sing the lead & I'd do the echo-vocal on Simon & Phoebe Snow's "Gone at Last."
& 2 years later when she dumped me, she bequeathed 2 me Gentle Giant's "On Reflection." Probably a good thing she never heard the Giant's "Funny Ways."
Tina followed a few months later. The X-girlfriend of my best friend Don, Tina's life was a mess. I thot I could rescue her. I was an idiot.
She adopted summa my strange music. Renaissance's "Ocean Gypsy" seemed 2 especially appeal 2 her -- a gentle portrait of a woman overcome by disaster. That was her, alright. She was also a big fan of Renaissance's "Northern Lights."
I thot Journey's "Feeling That Way/Anytime" made a good theme song 4 her, & 4 the football-team's-worth of lovers she apparently tried out while she was supposedly "with" me. Arguing constantly & spending R emotions on other people, we made it thru 3 chaotic years B4 she dumped me & married a friend of mine who'd been sharing R apartment....
Cyndi came along next, when we were both tired of dating & just wanted some1 2 talk 2 & relax with. We ended up getting married & lived with each other 4 17 years. Some of those were kinda happy, & we got 2 marvelous kids out of it.
When we 1st met R theme song was the Go-Go's "Vacation" -- I guess because after I met her, we spent the next 10 days 2gether & I never even bothered 2 call home & tell my family where I was. Later R theme song was Chicago's "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" -- I guess because it was hard 4 me 2 say I'm sorry about some things.... Cyndi put up with a lot 4 a lotta years. I know I'm a moody guy 2 live with. & I know I was way worse back then.
It took Cyndi a long time 2 figure-out what she wanted 2 do with her life. When she finally decided what she was going 2 do -- at age 40 -- the next thing she decided was that she didn't want to do it with me. When she'd decided she was going 2 move out but hadn't left yet, the only music she'd play was Melissa Etheridge's album BREAKDOWN -- over & over, at top volume. That album actually has some pretty good stuff on it. But it was so loud neither the kids or I could sleep thru it -- I was 2 stressed-out & sad 2 even ask her 2 turn it down. When she finally left, she bequeathed 2 me Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know."
Deb's theme song at 1st was Mary-Chapin Carpenter's "Passionate Kisses" -- I was listening 2 a lot of women country singers then, & it reminded me of her: "Shouldn't I have this...?" Much later her theme song was Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You," which I thot summed-up our very brief relationship: "I don't know who you are, but I'm with you...."
Mary is Nick Drake's BRYTER LAYTER, Caravan's "All the Way," & Rod Stewart's "Handbags and Gladrags," which I never woulda heard if Mary hadn't turned me on 2 it.
"You Oughta Know" reared its ugly head here, 2: After 1 of R early fallings-out & make-ups, Mary gave me a stuffed cross-eyed bear as a symbol of R relationship. 2 me the bear stands 4 being able 2 love some1 no matter what their faults, no matter the history the couple shares. I've still got the bear, its silly face is beaming at me right now from across the room. & of course the bear is based on a mis-hearing of 1 of Alanis's lines from the song: "The cross I bear that you gave to me...."
Mary has put up with more crap from me over the past 10 years than Cyndi EVER did. But I'm still 2 close 2 this relationship 2 know if there R other songs that fit as well -- Mary's a big Pink Floyd fan, but I think you'd havta go a long way 2 find a Floyd song that's suitable 4 couples. Definitely not "One of My Turns" or "The Trial." Or "One of These Days," "Comfortably Numb," "Run Like Hell".... "High Hopes," maybe? "Wish You Were Here"?
Happy Late Valentine's Day!
...& you & your Significant Other's special song is...?
I think it was Rastro at La Historia De La Musica Rock who touched on the idea of couples having "their song" awhile back. I know lotsa couples have their own "special" song, even if 1 of the parties doesn't particularly LIKE the song in question. 4 many couples, 1 particular piece of music seems 2 sum-up events or recall the time & place of their meeting, attraction, their struggle 2 B together, how good it was when everything worked, etc.
I've been thinking about this ever since, thinking this subject was perfect 4 Valentine's Day. But this post has been delayed by windstorms, rainstorms, 6-hour power-outages, rotten weather in general, bad Internet connections, & a partial loss of nerve.
I don't know about any other couple's special songs, but I know of a few dozen that still conjure up memories of the women I've been attracted 2, married 2, lived with. & here they are....
The 1st girl I remember ever declaring my love 4 was a cute, short, funny brunette named Connie, in Boise, Idaho, in 1975. She was 13. I was 15 at the time. She was sharp -- she seemed to see right thru people, knew everything that was going on, but wouldn't say a word until you asked. I could make her laugh 'til she stopped breathing with my stupid jokes, & I was touched that she thot I was un-dorky enuf 2 laff WITH rather than AT.
When I finally got up the nerve 2 tell her how great I thot she was, she waved me off, saying she'd only hurt me. I couldn't see how, but obviously Connie did: She ended up with my step-brother Jay (I'll write more about him someday, he's more like the subject 4 a book), & after that failed 2 work, less than 3 years later she wound-up pregnant & married. & not to me.
The J. Geils Band's "Must of Got Lost" was the theme song 4 R failed relationship. Tho Connie dodged me 4 my step-brother, she didn't want me 2 B alone -- she tried 2 stick her sister Debbie with me, & that didn't work either....
1 night early in April about a year after I stopped seeing her, Connie called my house claiming 2 B pregnant & implying that I was the father. I was speechless. I'd never even held her hand. The silence stretched until she started laffing & let me in on the April Fool's joke. But I guess the joke came back 2 get her later....
A coupla years later I met Allison, my highschool sweetheart. We made eyes at each other in Newspaper class 4 a coupla months, then she invited me 2 her 17th birthday party over the summer, & B4 that party was over I knew I was in love. & I was scared 2 death. So I wrote her a long letter proclaiming my adoration, then went on a week-long vacation with my family.
When I got back, Al dragged me out 2 talk about this further. She hadta work pretty hard 2 get thru 2 me -- I was painfully shy, I'd never kissed a girl, never held any1 close. She worked thru all that -- Ghod knows why she had the patience. 2 the 17-year-old innocent me she was like a goddess. She pointed out that Simon & Garfunkel's "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" sorta summed-up the fragility of the early part of R relationship.
Al was a big music fan -- if the music was up 2 her classical-based tastes. She could be awfully picky. We both loved the Moody Blues & Providence's EVER SENSE THE DAWN, but most pop music of the day she thot was mush. When running around Boise in her poky '62 Ford Fairlane we'd try 2 sing duets on lite stuff like the Beach Boys' "Sloop John B." She was a big Paul Simon fan, 2 -- out of nowhere she'd start singing "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." While driving around she'd sing the lead & I'd do the echo-vocal on Simon & Phoebe Snow's "Gone at Last."
& 2 years later when she dumped me, she bequeathed 2 me Gentle Giant's "On Reflection." Probably a good thing she never heard the Giant's "Funny Ways."
Tina followed a few months later. The X-girlfriend of my best friend Don, Tina's life was a mess. I thot I could rescue her. I was an idiot.
She adopted summa my strange music. Renaissance's "Ocean Gypsy" seemed 2 especially appeal 2 her -- a gentle portrait of a woman overcome by disaster. That was her, alright. She was also a big fan of Renaissance's "Northern Lights."
I thot Journey's "Feeling That Way/Anytime" made a good theme song 4 her, & 4 the football-team's-worth of lovers she apparently tried out while she was supposedly "with" me. Arguing constantly & spending R emotions on other people, we made it thru 3 chaotic years B4 she dumped me & married a friend of mine who'd been sharing R apartment....
Cyndi came along next, when we were both tired of dating & just wanted some1 2 talk 2 & relax with. We ended up getting married & lived with each other 4 17 years. Some of those were kinda happy, & we got 2 marvelous kids out of it.
When we 1st met R theme song was the Go-Go's "Vacation" -- I guess because after I met her, we spent the next 10 days 2gether & I never even bothered 2 call home & tell my family where I was. Later R theme song was Chicago's "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" -- I guess because it was hard 4 me 2 say I'm sorry about some things.... Cyndi put up with a lot 4 a lotta years. I know I'm a moody guy 2 live with. & I know I was way worse back then.
It took Cyndi a long time 2 figure-out what she wanted 2 do with her life. When she finally decided what she was going 2 do -- at age 40 -- the next thing she decided was that she didn't want to do it with me. When she'd decided she was going 2 move out but hadn't left yet, the only music she'd play was Melissa Etheridge's album BREAKDOWN -- over & over, at top volume. That album actually has some pretty good stuff on it. But it was so loud neither the kids or I could sleep thru it -- I was 2 stressed-out & sad 2 even ask her 2 turn it down. When she finally left, she bequeathed 2 me Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know."
Deb's theme song at 1st was Mary-Chapin Carpenter's "Passionate Kisses" -- I was listening 2 a lot of women country singers then, & it reminded me of her: "Shouldn't I have this...?" Much later her theme song was Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You," which I thot summed-up our very brief relationship: "I don't know who you are, but I'm with you...."
Mary is Nick Drake's BRYTER LAYTER, Caravan's "All the Way," & Rod Stewart's "Handbags and Gladrags," which I never woulda heard if Mary hadn't turned me on 2 it.
"You Oughta Know" reared its ugly head here, 2: After 1 of R early fallings-out & make-ups, Mary gave me a stuffed cross-eyed bear as a symbol of R relationship. 2 me the bear stands 4 being able 2 love some1 no matter what their faults, no matter the history the couple shares. I've still got the bear, its silly face is beaming at me right now from across the room. & of course the bear is based on a mis-hearing of 1 of Alanis's lines from the song: "The cross I bear that you gave to me...."
Mary has put up with more crap from me over the past 10 years than Cyndi EVER did. But I'm still 2 close 2 this relationship 2 know if there R other songs that fit as well -- Mary's a big Pink Floyd fan, but I think you'd havta go a long way 2 find a Floyd song that's suitable 4 couples. Definitely not "One of My Turns" or "The Trial." Or "One of These Days," "Comfortably Numb," "Run Like Hell".... "High Hopes," maybe? "Wish You Were Here"?
Happy Late Valentine's Day!
...& you & your Significant Other's special song is...?
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