Friday, May 31, 2013

#678: First Girl I Loved

Her name was Connie Elliott. It was the Fall of 1974. I was 15, hanging out in Boise with my lawbreaking half-brother Jay, stealing small change, grabbing gas cans out of people's garages & generally being stupid. Connie was a friend of our friends -- cute, short & quiet, with long curly brown hair. She hardly ever said a word unless you asked her a direct question.
On Friday nights we used to fill Jay's huge red van with the entire gang & hang out at the Meridian Drive-In. We hardly ever saw the movie -- there was too much other drama going on. The first time Connie was left alone in the van with me, she started grilling me with questions: Who was with who? What does Jay think of Debbie (Connie's older sister)? Is he in love with her? Oh, & why wasn't I With anyone?
This of course grabbed my attention.
Next time I saw her was at her home, where she & I & Jay & Debbie & the half-dozen others in our gang sprawled across the family-room floor, gabbing & eating & relaxing.
At some point I heard a voice come from over my shoulder: "Could I maybe sneak through here...?" & I said "Sure, come through if you can GET through...." & moving past me was Connie's uncle, who tipped the scales at maybe 300 pounds.
& I looked at Connie & she was already laughing, & I said "Oh, I didn't mean it like THAT," & then she REALLY started laughing, until she was crying & she leaned over onto the floor, gasping 4 breath. Everybody else got quiet wondering what they'd missed.
& a friendship was born.
I thought she was great -- mainly because she actually TALKED to me, she didn't think I was too dorky to bother with. & this was a shock, because I was scared to death of girls, didn't know how to approach, didn't know what to say, was still way too nervous.
Connie tried. We liked talking with each other, spent HOURS on the phone, always had some laughs no matter how weird things got or how much drama was going on in The Gang. She always wanted to know what I THOUGHT about things. She tried to teach me how to dance -- but she gave up when she learned how unbelievably clutzy I was.
That's all that happened, because I wasn't sure what else to do. She was two years younger than me, but had already been through a LOT more.
We continued to hang-out at the drive-in. One cold night I screwed-up all my courage & wrapped an arm around Connie's shoulders -- she was out in December without a coat. She seemed to snuggle in closer & said: "You know, you can move your arm down LOWER, if you want to...." & I wanted to. But I was scared to death. & I stayed where I was. Because I was an idiot.
We never kissed, we never even held hands.
A couple months later, after LOTS more drama in our bunch, I finally told Connie how I felt -- I thought maybe she'd be open to putting up with a geek like me. I said the words "I love you." I said I'd never met anyone like her, that it still shocked me how easily we could talk with each other.
& she waved me off. "I'll just hurt you," she said. I said I didn't see how she could. But Connie did. Soon after she took up with my brother....
After that she tried to set me up with her sister, & though Debbie was nice, we both knew we weren't with who we wanted to be with.... Connie & Jay didn't last. After much more drama, we all drifted apart.
The J. Geils Band's "Must of Got Lost" became the theme song for the relationship Connie & I didn't quite have -- & we both knew it.
I visited her house once, a few months after. Connie & Debbie were both running around in shorts & summer tops, & I was struck again by what a knockout she was. But Connie sort of kept her distance....
A year or so later, as an April Fool's joke, Connie called me out of the blue & claimed to be pregnant. There was a LONG silence at my end of the phone. "But, I, uh, we never even...." Then Connie started laughing & we talked for an hour for the first time in ages. It was almost like old times. But there were no sequels.
At one point my folks moved into a house a mile down the road from Connie's. & though I always wondered what she was doing, I never checked in on her. I had long ago received the clear message that she was way ahead of me, maturity-wise....
Then, looking through the newspaper one day, I saw that Connie'd had a baby. Then she got a marriage license. She was married with a child, at age 16. ...& her husband was a guy I'd had a class with in highschool.
Years went by. I read quite awhile back that Connie's husband had died young, in his early 30s. That was over 20 years ago. But I've got no idea what ever happened to Connie, the first girl I ever said "I love you" to.
Connie, if you're Out There somewhere, drop me a line. The Geek still remembers you. I'm way better at Talking, these days. I can even dance, a little. Sort of. Slow dance, at least. I was dancing at work just last night....

Thursday, May 30, 2013

#677: Summer 1978

It's the Summer of 1978 & I am moved-out of my parents' house for the first time ever, living in a 2-story townhouse-style apartment in Boise's "Sergeant City" with my best friend in the world, Don Vincent.
We pulled together the little money we had, found a place cheap, & within a couple days we are moved in. Immediately we start making the place over into something that's "ours." The rock&roll & fantasy posters immediately go up on the walls. We start "fumigating" with incense & scented candles in almost every room. & as soon as the stereo gets set-up in the cave-like living room downstairs, we start playing Strange Music at every opportunity.
For Don it could be anything from Aphrodite's Child to Keith Jarrett to Chick Corea to Chuck Mangione(?). He leans toward some pretty-out-there jazz. I'm just discovering that King Crimson might be Good. Mostly I fall back on some old favorites -- middle-period Genesis, Gryphon, Providence, Renaissance, Kansas, Queen, Boston.
Boston's DON'T LOOK BACK comes out & we argue about its qualities -- we agree the good stuff is really good, but the album's only half-finished.... Journey's INFINITY is a subject of some debate: At first I think it's bland Stadium Rock; then I'm caught by "Feelin' That Way/Anytime," & another sale gets made. Genesis's AND THEN THERE WERE THREE is released & I read reviews that compare it negatively to The Moody Blues ... & that's all I need to hear; the good stuff is good -- the try at a hit single sucks. Gentle Giant's GIANT FOR A DAY is issued, & Don & I wonder if it's The Worst Album Of All Time....
Other buys: Gryphon's RAINDANCE, TREASON and MIDNIGHT MUSHRUMPS, 1st U.K. album, Happy the Man's CRAFTY HANDS, Camel's BREATHLESS, Caravan's BLIND DOG AT ST. DUNSTAN'S, Renaissance's A SONG FOR ALL SEASONS, Gentle Giant's FREE HAND and GIANT STEPS, Todd Rundgren's SOMETHING/ANYTHING?, Incredible String Band's THE HANGMAN'S BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, THE GREATER ANTILLES SAMPLER (the first place I hear Nick Drake), & probably dozens more I've forgotten....
Out of all this music, the fantasy posters on the wall, & the optimistic atmosphere of the place, I start writing a long, winding heroic Middle Ages fantasy -- 40+ pages, something to fill-up my spare time -- which turns out to be Nothing Special, just a standard LORD OF THE RINGS-style Other World with some pretty lightshows along the way. It never really gets finished.
Just around the corner from the apartment is The Musicworks, Boise's friendliest record store, where I end up working a year or so down the road. Whenever I'm bored, & especially on Laundry Day, I haunt the store for HOURS, listening to the funny, hip, cool, with-it clerks trade rock&roll stories -- who they've seen in concert, who they helped haul gear into a gig for, which huge-hyped albums bombed the biggest.... These guys are hilarious -- I can listen to them talk for hours. & then go back home without buying a thing....
Don is Attached at this time, but he introduces me to his old girlfriend Tina, who I've heard of but never met. & at the end of our first meeting she kisses me briefly on the lips & I about fall over. It's been MONTHS since I've been close to anyone. We start spending a lot of time on the phone, & then a lot of time together. She will eventually, briefly, move into the apartment with us.
A few months later, our old buddy Jeff Mann will move in, & things will get even crazier. At one point every sleeping surface in the apartment is filled, & stereos begin duelling to try to cover-up the sounds of sensual delight leaking out of the bedrooms. At one point our friends Melissa & Thom briefly move into the closet-sized third bedroom, hang around for meals & camp-out on the living-room couch. Melissa is heading back to college, & we try to talk Thom into moving in -- but he wonders if the neighbors will mind him practicing violin eight hours a day ... & finally he drifts away.
Now & then my old girlfriend Allison & her new guy Richard arrive unexpectedly for a visit -- it gets to be a pretty crowded apartment at times. There's a lotta nostalgia in the air.
When Jeff arrives the music gets louder, though I don't remember him ever entertaining any dates overnight. I DO remember hearing him throwing up in the bathroom night after night, after coming home from his new party-hearty lifestyle. He introduces us to AC/DC, Ted Nugent, REO, LOTS of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, & much more. He calls the sometimes-twisted stuff I listen to "mindfuck music," & that starts a lot more marathon musical arguments....
Tina adopts some of my music & starts wearing headphones almost constantly while listening to a mix tape of some of the best of Renaissance, Genesis, Camel, Boston, Journey, Barclay James Harvest, Mike Oldfield....
I get fed-up with my job & stupidly give my 2 weeks' notice. I end up unemployed for the next 6 months.... I hang on for a couple more months in the apartment, & out of the stress of unpaid bills & strained friendships I write my first published short-story. & then move back into my parents' house before Christmas -- where I'll be trapped for the next 14 months.
Don & Jeff keep it going for another year -- then Jeff moves back to Texas, where his parents have moved after his highschool graduation. Don loses his girlfriend in a car wreck, goes through two VERY bad years, then finds a new love.
1979 turns out to be the worst year of our lives, up 'til then. But even in the middle of my worst year ever, The Musicworks hires me part-time & suddenly I have my Dream Job, & even offer to work for free.... I find my way back out of my folks' house early in 1980, & move with Tina into the world's smallest mobile home -- so tiny that there's no spare room on the walls & the rock&roll posters have to be stapled to the ceiling....

Monday, May 27, 2013

#676: Sick as a dog....

...What's your story?

Latest playlist:
Spirit -- I Got a Line on You, Nature's Way, 1984, Fresh Garbage, Dark-Eyed Woman, Prelude/Nothing to Hide, Aren't You Glad?
Fairport Convention -- Crazy Man Michael, Farewell Farewell, Stranger to Himself.
Weather Report -- Badia/Boogie Woogie Waltz medley, Thanks for the Memories, A Remark You Made, Slang, In a Silent Way (all live from 8:30).
Procol Harum -- Shine On Brightly, A Salty Dog, A Whiter Shade of Pale, Homburg, In the Wee Small Hours of Sixpence, Repent Walpurgis.
King Crimson -- The Power to Believe I: A Capella, Level Five, Eyes Wide Open, Elektrik, Happy With What You Have to be Happy With, The Power to Believe III, The Power to Believe IV: Coda.
Can -- Uphill, Mother Upduff, Moonshake, Future Days, I Want More, Don't Say No, Spoon, Outside My Door, Halleluwah.
Hawkwind -- Urban Guerrilla, Sonic Attack, Psychedelic Warlords (Disappear in Smoke), Assault and Battery (Part 1).
Jefferson Airplane -- Mexico, Good Shepherd, Wooden Ships, Eskimo Blue Day.
Barclay James Harvest -- Vanessa Simmons, Happy Old World, Ball and Chain, Medicine Man, Ursula (The Swansea Song), Someone There You Know, The Poet/After the Day, I'm Over You, Child of Man, Breathless, While the City Sleeps.

Some sort of ugly 36-hour bug grabbed me & made working the past couple of days a real pain in the ass, head, stomach & just about everywhere else. Did get some more music listened to, however....
Felt a little better as soon as I put Spirit on -- the guitar rush of "I Got a Line on You" works every time. "Nature's Way" is still perfect. But some of their stuff I just Don't Get, so I tried a couple of those: "Fresh Garbage" is certainly off-beat enough, but it never gets any better than when Jay Ferguson comes breezing in at the start singing the title phrase.... "Dark-Eyed Woman" has a nice dark sultry mood to it. "1984" is still spooky, & seems even more relevant in our current semi-police-state atmosphere.
"Stranger to Himself" is still a moving funeral march -- one of the best things Sandy Denny did later in her career.
"Boogie Woogie Waltz" is still a killer -- but I'm not sure about some of the others. "Thanks for the Memories" is a nice Wayne Shorter sax-solo spotlight, but there were folks in the audience who only went nuts when Wayne hit those long high notes.... "In a Silent Way" hardly sounds anything like Miles Davis's original (& chief Weather-man Joe Zawinul wrote it). Bassist Jaco Pastorius's "Slang" has more energy than most of these.
Ah, the Procols. Talk about pretensious. But they had talent to burn. Still, I Don't Get why A&M couldn't have tossed 15 more minutes of music onto their GREATEST HITS -- how 'bout "Wreck of the Hesperus" & "Long Gone Geek," or maybe the live "In Held T'was in I"?
Course, there IS some Good Stuff on there. My pick is "Shine On Brightly," which has some screaming Robin Trower guitar on the choruses, & Keith Reid's lyrics are cute -- it should've been a hit. "A Salty Dog" still seems a little sludgy & limp to me, but Gary Brooker's singing is pretty amazing, especially at the end, & the lyrics paint a clear picture. Almost cinematically vivid. "Repent, Walpurgis" is a keyboard&guitar-led instrumental, OK but not stunning.
KC's "Level Five" is better live, but "Eyes Wide Open" is another solid ballad from Adrian Belew. "Happy" is still the best & funniest of KC's recent "comedy" songs. As for the "Power to Believe" segments ... well, they helped pull an album together....
Can is all about THE RHYTHM. "Uphill" has a great ominous ongoing riff. "Mother Upduff" is a comedy classic ("Mother Upduff hadn't been out of Dusseldorf in EIGHTY YEARS...."), & even behind that there's still some loopy music goin' on. Later on, Can got smoother & less abrasive -- closer to a sorta twisted dance-rock. It doesn't really matter what guitarist Michael Karoli is murmuring in "Moonshake." "Don't Say No" is even closer to dance music. "Outside My Door" could've been a hit. "Spoon" was -- in Germany.
I still think Hawkwind's "Urban Guerrilla" is funny, but it's probably not the most politically correct choice in our current bombing&violence-plagued society. "Sonic Attack"'s good comedy, too. & "Psychedelic Warlords" works on chant power alone.
The Airplane's angry "Mexico" is great, though I wish the vocals were clearer. "Good Shepherd" is an Olde Favorite. "Wooden Ships" is much rougher than the CSNY version I heard years before this one -- the Airplane's version doesn't lack for drama or mood or ferocity, however....
The Barclays? Well, they got better. Sometime around their second album ONCE AGAIN, they seem to have grown up a little & their songwriting got noticeably stronger. There are still some problems, though.... "Vanessa Simmons" is almost good, a way-of-life-issues-poser. "Happy Old World" is a misnomer, because the narrator doesn't think the world's a happy place at all -- more melodrama, though not as overwrought as previously. I couldn't get through "Ball and Chain," which is a life-is-hard blooze. "Medicine Man" is a Western -- with an orchestra. These guys really seemed to have no particular inspiration, other than to be a rock band with an orchestra....
Just when I was wondering if I could get through all of BJH's HARVEST YEARS best-of, up pops "Ursula (The Swansea Song)," which is simple & low-key & nicely reflective & bouncy enough that it could have been a hit. & it works better than any of their Big Statements so far. I wonder if they knew that? Some artists weren't meant to make Big Statements.... They should've done more "pop" stuff like this.
"Someone There You Know" is above BJH's average. "The Poet/After the Day" is more overwrought end-of-the-world melodrama, though not as overdone or as bad as "Dark Now My Sky" or "She Said." "I'm Over You" is no big deal -- though the title phrase is repeated about 84 times; who's he trying to convince? -- but the vocal harmonies on the choruses made me smile.
I remembered the choruses from "Child of Man" from those imported BEST OF BJH vinyl albums I briefly owned 35 years ago -- the spoken-word choruses are annoying enough & memorable enough that this could have been a hit. "Breathless" is a decent guitar-led instrumental. "While the City Sleeps" is keyboardist Wooly Wolstenholme talking about his insomnia.
So far I hear about 6 songs from THE HARVEST YEARS worth putting on a best-of -- out of 30 tracks. I'll try to finish this off next time....

Saturday, May 25, 2013

#675: The Prog Guy?

Well, I thought I was a big-time Prog Guy 'til I started doing this blogging stuff. These days I have little patience for wanking around & showing off, for taking the more difficult path to musical satisfaction when what's really needed is just A Good Tune.
But most of the Mostly-Unheard New Stuff I have around the house is prog-oriented -- though not all of it. So here we go....

Joni Mitchell -- Raised On Robbery, Free Man in Paris, The Circle Game, Chelsea Morning.
Fairport Convention -- Chelsea Morning, Mr. Lacey, Book Song.
Squeeze -- Hourglass, Trust Me to Open My Mouth.
Nektar -- Fidgety Queen.
David Sancious and Tone -- TRUE STORIES: Sound of Love, Move On, Prelude #3, On the Inside, Fade Away, Ever the Same, Interlude, Matter of Time.
King Crimson -- ProzaKc Blues, The World is My Oyster Soup Kitchen Floor Wax Museum, One Time, Radio II, Inner Garden II.
Wigwam -- Do or Die, Losing Hold, Grass for Blades.
Barclay James Harvest -- She Said, Song for Dying.
Be-Bop Deluxe -- Between the Worlds, Music in Dreamland.
Can -- Father Cannot Yell, Soup, Mother Sky.

OK so, "Raised on Robbery" to get me going -- great sax solo by Tom Scott in the middle, great funny sly lyrics from Joni. Liked the airy "Free Man in Paris" even before I learned it was supposed to be about David Geffen. "Circle Game" is so sweet&adorable it's almost hard to take -- would love to hear a rocked-up version, think somebody did one a few years back, but don't know who.
"Chelsea Morning" is very nice -- this woman might have a future, except for the screeches at the upper end of her vocal register. Just one question: Why isn't "Coyote" on Joni's HITS? It's not on MISSES, either. & Reprise could've thrown-in another 15 minutes of music on HITS -- why get stingy at this late date...?
Fairport rocks-up "Chelsea Morning" -- Judy Dyble is a good match for Joni, though she doesn't phrase her vocals quite so ... uniquely. The band unfortunately buries the song's most compelling verse. But they make up for it on the sly & funny blues "Mr. Lacey." From the MEET ON THE LEDGE best-of.
If everything Squeeze did was as catchy as "Hourglass," they'd be in the Rock&Roll Hall of Fame. Adding a sax on this song made a big difference -- they should've done it more often. Plus there's the rushed choruses, which you'll be singing along with in no time, even though the lyrics are a mouthful. The following "Trust Me to Open My Mouth" is a good case in point -- it's solid, competent, mildly enjoyable, but not magic. From GREATEST HITS.
"Fidgety Queen" is a classic overlooked rocker with great guitar-choruses. Could've been a hit, & should have been. Play it LOUD! From THE DREAM NEBULA best-of.
After mentioning it recently, I took TRUE STORIES to work, where it actually worked pretty well. At home it's just not cosmic enough compared to Sancious' earlier stuff -- it seemed way too conventional. But at work it seems to breathe & gain some life -- pretty decent jazz-rock background music. The keyboards always sound like Sancious, with his abrupt changes & sudden endings. & I can even take Alex Ligertwood's vocals -- because he's usually in a chorale-like blend with really excellent singers Brenda Madison & Gail Boggs.
"Move On" gets something good going before it suddenly cuts off. There are also 3 instrumentals on the album, but they're mostly ignorable -- one's a brief, quiet solo-piano piece, & one's a watery, short New-Age-ish thing.
So, not quite the disappointment I thought a couple of years ago, 3 stars at least. & you can still have my copy for $500....
KC's heavy comedies like "ProzaKc Blues" & "Oyster Soup Kitchen" are amusing for awhile -- especially Adrian Belew's lyrics. Then they're just loud & grating. But "One Time" is a really excellent KC ballad. From THE CONSTRUCKTION OF LIGHT and THRAK.
"Losing Hold" is a really excellent organ-led rocker with minimal vocals. "Grass for Blades" is intriguing, but I understand a better, expanded version is available on Wigwam's LIVE FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE album. "Do or Die" is an excellent low-key rocker -- all are from Wigwam's HIGHLIGHTS best-of, which is ... not bad overall, though I think some of their Very Best stuff ain't on it....
Ah, the Barclays. "She Said" isn't quite as extreme or as fake-operatic as "Dark Now My Sky" (see last post), & it is at least half as long. But there's lots more melodrama & lots more anguished, screaming guitar. BJH leader John Lees clearly had a grump on about someone. "Song for Dying" isn't terrible, but it's still pretty morose. A lot of stuff on BJH's HARVEST YEARS best-of is fairly depressing. Lots of signs of Harvest/EMI's money going right down the drain....
Be-Bop picks it up a bit at the end of their RAIDING THE DIVINE ARCHIVE best-of: "Between the Worlds" is almost good, but it's too short. "Music in Dreamland" returns to some of the old drama & has a nice guitar&keyboards mix. But "Sleep That Burns" & "Maid in Heaven" still stand above everything else on the disc. Disappointing that I bought this hoping to hear more great stuff, only to learn that except 4 "Maid in Heaven," I'd already heard all their best....
Used Can to wash most of this other stuff out of my head. "Soup" is just grating noise, but "Father Cannot Yell" & "Mother Sky" are some of the best upbeat trance music I know of....
More Strange Stuff Coming Soon....

Friday, May 24, 2013

#674: More New Stuff!

Music-listening was limited Thursday night because I spent most of the evening glued to the radio after part of a bridge along I-5 in northern Washington collapsed & fell into the Skagit River. Amazingly, only 3 people were injured, no one was killed -- but it'll take months to replace the bridge, if not years. & all this just in time for massive traffic over the Memorial Day Weekend....

Barclay James Harvest -- The Iron Maiden, Dark Now My Sky.
Be-Bop Deluxe -- Forbidden Lovers, Electrical Language, Between the Worlds.

STILL in the running for the title of Worst Prog Band Ever: Barclay James Harvest!
"Iron Maiden" is a depressed downbeat portrait of an emotionally-distant woman, definitely not hit-single material.
But "Dark Now My Sky" is something Very Different -- a kind of musical theater piece, all over-the-top Melodrama. If you're into Gothic Overkill, this one should Do It for you: There's a silly recitation at the start, there's a melodramatic self-involved lead vocal, there are overly-dramatic guitar solos, the huge orchestra thrashes around all over the place -- & it drags on for 12 MINUTES! & they don't seem to be joking, either. This is NOT rock&roll. Closer to opera. Or maybe Edgar Allen Poe.
There was a time I could've appreciated this stuff -- if only for its perversity -- but that was 35 years ago. Probably the weirdest thing I've inflicted on my customers at work since Cromagnon's CAVE ROCK. These guys are making getting through their HARVEST YEARS best-of a real chore. Nevertheless, more of this stuff will be coming soon....
Be-Bop's guitarist Bill Nelson & bassist Charlie Tumahai sound like they're laughing all through the choruses of "Forbidden Lovers," possibly because they both know the song's a joke. But at least they're having a good time. "Electrical Language" isn't bad, & it features more of Nelson's impressive guitar-playing. But it repeats the same verse over&over. It never really goes anywhere.
Can't help thinking the compilers left the best stuff off of Be-Bop's RAIDING THE DIVINE ARCHIVES best-of. Where is "Shine" or "Sound Track," not to mention the whole 1st-side-plus of SUNBURST FINISH? All this stuff is I'm sure contained in Be-Bop's 4-CD best-of ... which I won't be buying. Lot of potential here, but they don't live up to it often enough....
More New Stuff Coming Soon....

Thursday, May 23, 2013

#673: Dream 3 + more

I've been having parts of this same dream over&over for the last year or so:
I'm inside some huge old dust-covered antiquated radio station. There's ancient equipment scattered everywhere. It looks like the inside of someone's old workshop, now abandoned & cobwebby from disuse. Or like the inside of a giant warehouse I once saw in Wyoming -- full of old record albums & LOTS of other stuff accumulated over the years....
But the equipment still works. Throw a switch & the dials light up, talk into an old dusty mike & the meters move. Throw a master switch & suddenly YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
I don't know if anyone's Out There listening. But now that I know the equipment works, I can't just babble. At least not yet. So I look around....
There are records here. Walk across the dirty old hardwood floor & climb up a rickety old ladder/stairway into another room and there's a beat-up wooden desk/shelf-unit piled high with old 45's. Most of them aren't in paper sleeves -- they're dusty, lightly scratched and a little beat-up, but they're playable. & I have no choice.
They say you don't see colors in dreams, but there's red & blue & rainbow-colored record-labels here, stuff from the '50s & '60s I'm guessing, & I can see names & titles, but I can't remember what they were. Most of it is stuff I've never heard of -- or if I know the artists I've never heard the songs. Doesn't matter, they'll have to do.
I pile up the 20 or 30 least-scratched-up-looking 45's & head back to the main console, where a dusty turntable & a dusty, cobweb-wrapped mike wait for me. I throw a switch, the dials & meters light-up, the turntable actually starts turning, & the big red light/sign over my head goes on: ON THE AIR.
5 watts of pure power, blasting out into the Washington wilderness. Ghod knows if anyone can hear me. Doesn't matter.
"This is KSUM, broadcasting from Summit View, Washington...."

Latest playlist:
New Order -- Regret, True Faith.
Yes -- Leave It, It Can Happen, Rhythm of Love, Lift Me Up, Open Your Eyes, The Calling, Homeworld (The Ladder), Magnification.
Barclay James Harvest -- When the World Was Woken, Good Love Child.
Uriah Heep -- Easy Livin', Stealin', Sweet Lorraine.
Be-Bop Deluxe -- Modern Music, Japan, Panic in the World, Bring Back the Spark, Forbidden Lovers.

...Hope to get more into New Order, no luck yet. "Regret" & "True Faith" both still sound great, but I have yet to get through another song on their BEST OF....
The Yes tracks are from their DEFINITIVE COLLECTION, & those I heard for the first time Wednesday night sound pretty good, with just enough Steve Howe guitar & just enough Jon Anderson/Trevor Rabin vocals to make them worth hearing. "It Can Happen" still sounds marvelous, not sure why I underrated it for years; & I'm still a sucker for "Leave It." Sure would be nice to have "Changes" included here....
"Lift Me Up" has a rather good group-vocal chorus that they should've kept repeating.... Not sure why they felt compelled to add an orchestra on "Magnification," not sure it adds much, & this band always could make plenty of noise all by themselves; my favorite part is when it goes All Noisy at the end.
Speaking of orchestras, BJH's "When the World Was Woken" sounds vaguely Procol Harum-ish -- not bad, but not real memorable. "Good Love Child" is a rather dated-sounding simple rocker, with lyrics that veer toward the smutty, as these guys sometimes did. It's OK, though not as great a rocker as their "Taking Some Time On." (From THE HARVEST YEARS best-of.)
Have decided that Uriah Heep's great atmospheric backing vocals are about all that saves "Stealin'," a song I loved back in late '73 -- but I was too young to be able to catch the lyrics, & didn't even notice David Byron's kinda lame, overdone singing. It may be the lyrics, but he really Doesn't sound like A Nice Guy. As always, Ken Hensley's organ fills sound pretty great.
"Easy Livin'"'s still a classic, & it sure don't wear out its welcome. "Sweet Lorraine" was new to me -- it's OK, though I'm not sure about the howling WHO-OOOO keyboards -- but it must work as a hook, because by the end I didn't mind so much, was almost looking forward to it.... (From 20TH CENTURY MASTERS/BEST OF.)
Be-Bop's move toward something maybe a little more commercial (with their MODERN MUSIC album & definitely by the time of DRASTIC PLASTIC) didn't do them any favors. "Japan" is mechanical & boring, with an obvious herky-jerky New Wave influence. The rest are OK, & almost all feature Bill Nelson's almost-always beautiful guitar-playing. But it's not quite enough. (From RAIDING THE DIVINE ARCHIVE best-of.)
Will be continuing with the Mostly New-To-Me Stuff, stay tuned....

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

#672: I'm all about Value

Prices for books & music -- I Don't Get them.
Because I'm a low-budget guy, I'm constantly looking to expand my musical & reading horizons on the cheap. & I can't TELL you how much GREAT stuff I've found at (this is not a commercial) Amazon.com for A PENNY plus shipping. You probably wouldn't believe me anyway.
The abundance of this Cheap Stuff convinces me that Billy Joel was right when he sang in "The Entertainer" that "If I go cold I won't get sold, I'll get put in the back in the discount rack, like another can of beans." When it comes to music & books, goodness & price have nothing to do with each other. You know how many 5-star books & CD's you can now get for a penny? More than you'll EVER read or listen to....
Of course your mileage may vary, but the more expensive stuff often makes no sense to me, the massive amount of money people ask for stuff & expect that Some Fanatic Out There will pay. I'm not that fanatic.
For instance:
David Sancious and Tone's 1976 jazz-rock/prog classic TRANSFORMATION: THE SPEED OF LOVE. Excellent album in places, with cosmic musical themes & synthesizer riffs that are GUARANTEED to mess up your body-rhythms -- plus one gorgeous solo piano piece. Got my vinyl copy back in 1979 for $5.99. Awhile back someone was selling a used copy on Amazon & asking $250! Yes, this album will Change Your Life -- but not THAT much.
SOME sanity has obviously dawned on sellers out there: You can now buy a used vinyl copy of TRANSFORMATION for a totally reasonable $4. But if you want it on CD, the price starts at $80. No.
But that's just the start of the insanity. Sancious' previous album, the not-as-startling or life-changing FOREST OF FEELINGS, is available on vinyl for a fairly reasonable $8. But if you want the CD, it's gonna cost you $455. & it ain't worth it, folks.
More weirdness? Sancious' follow-up to TRANSFORMATION, 1979's disappointingly average jazz-rock-pop TRUE STORIES, is $516.80 for the CD. THAT'S INSANE. I got my copy 4 $5 a couple years ago & was disappointed with it THEN. The released version of the album was messed-with by Arista Records, who pleaded with Sancious to come up with something reasonably commercial rather than the four 9-to-15-minute instrumental suites he'd originally planned. If I could hear the album he'd ORIGINALLY intended, I MIGHT pay $500 4 THAT....
(By the way, if you'd be willing to buy a copy of TRUE STORIES for $500, PLEASE drop me your e-mail address or phone number in the comments below. I've probably got some other high-priced stuff around the house you might like as well....)
Another example: Cromagnon's 1969 brain-damage "classic" CAVE ROCK. My blogging buddy Crabby sent me a copy of this last year when I was musically bored, & it shocked & disturbed me to the point that I'll never play it again. But a few months ago, folks were asking $50 for the CD. You can have MINE for $50 right now!
Here again, some sanity has prevailed: Currently you can get a copy of CAVE ROCK for $5. But if you want it on vinyl, it's gonna cost you $26. Ghod knows why you would want it at ALL, but again, if you're interested, drop me a note below, etc.
I understand Rareness. I'm OK with that. If sellers want to ask from $190 to $400 for a copy of Dan Matovina's WITHOUT YOU: THE TRAGIC STORY OF BADFINGER, there's nothing I can do. I know the story, but I'd love to learn more, & reviews indicate Matovina got all the ugly legal (& other) details down brilliantly & with a lot of sensitivity. Copies of the book also come with a CD of music, outtakes, interviews, etc. I'd love to read/hear it. But not for $190....
Ken Sharp's OVERNIGHT SENSATION: THE STORY OF THE RASPBERRIES used to be pretty high-priced, too. Now it's a mere $40. & there's not even any gut-wrenching tragedies in that story.
Ten-plus years ago, when I was a lot stupider about this Internet ordering stuff than I am now, I once paid $140 for an original Warner Books paperback copy of Jack Ketchum's horror novel THE GIRL NEXT DOOR -- supposedly The Ultimate Horror Novel, & very rare at the time. (Verdict: Four stars, but it won't Change Your Life.)
& of course, Ghod got me back, because 3 or 4 years later, Leisure Books reissued the novel for $3.95. & it's gone through a couple more printings since then. Lots of Ketchum's books tend to grab high used prices because they appeared only briefly as paperback originals. Out on bookstore shelves & newsstands for a month & then Gone Forever....
Not so long ago, I paid $95 for a copy of Sid Smith's excellent IN THE COURT OF KING CRIMSON, & I was more than satisfied with it. I think it's the best, most detailed book we'll get about that band until Rockin' Bobby Fripp writes his memoirs. Prices for it have gotten a little better -- you can now score a used copy for $59. But a new, updated version is reportedly Coming Soon....
Again, I understand Rareness & how that might boost prices. Grobschnitt's Krautrock classic ROCKPOMMEL'S LAND -- which features one charming 3-minute popsong called "Anywhere" & a 20-minute title track, & which I've been looking for another copy of since 1978 -- is now available on vinyl for a mere $26. But if you want the CD you're gonna have to pay $90 to $117. Why?
Deep-voiced & whimsical British prog-rocker Kevin Ayers' rare import-only outtakes collection ODD DITTIES will run you $40 on vinyl, but from $18 to $103 on CD. But he also has a best-of with most of the ODD DITTIES songs you Need To Hear -- & it's only $3.
A copy of John Coltrane's ASCENSION on vinyl is $120. I saw a copy awhile back in a used record store for $75. But you can still get GIANT STEPS and A LOVE SUPREME for less than $5 on CD. & they're worth it.
Gentle Giant's rare imported GIANT STEPS best-of -- featuring a couple songs you can hardly find anywhere else -- is $13 to $26 on CD, $15 to $52 on vinyl. The Giant's equally rare & import-only PRETENSIOUS best-of -- a better selection -- is $45 on vinyl.
Probably none of this stuff will ever make sense to me. The seller's motto is Whatever The Traffic Will Bear. I still Don't Get why people (and Capitol/EMI) ask such outrageous prices for Beatles albums that have never gone out of print....
But tonight while browsing for outrageous prices I found a vinyl copy of Space Art's A TRIP IN THE CENTER HEAD -- the best, most memorable synthesizer album I've ever heard, & I haven't heard a note of it since 1982 -- for only $9.98, & I am gonna GRAB that sucker.
Happy hunting....

Monday, May 20, 2013

#671: Not quite the same old same-old

Still not much New going on around here. Took my usual bagfull of rock&roll motivational CD's to work this past week, then got bored & added some Country Women (Mary-Chapin Carpenter, Pam Tillis, Trisha Yearwood, Wynonna, Carlene Carter, Suzy Bogguss) thinking they'd motivate me -- then got bored with them & added some New Stuff. Here's how it turned out....

Moody Blues -- The Story in Your Eyes, Question, It's Up to You, One More Time to Live, You Can Never Go Home, I'm Just a Singer in a Rock and Roll Band.
Boston -- Used to Bad News, It's Easy, Hitch a Ride.
Kansas -- Miracles Out of Nowhere, Questions of My Childhood, What's on My Mind, Cheyenne Anthem.
Bangles -- Let it Go, September Gurls, Angels Don't Fall in Love.
Beatles -- Eight Days a Week, Ticket to Ride, Help!, Paperback Writer.
Mary-Chapin Carpenter -- Passionate Kisses, The Hard Way, This Shirt, You Win Again, Middle Ground, Downtown Train.
Pam Tillis -- Homeward Looking Angel, Whenever You Walk in the Room, I Was Blown Away, Melancholy Child.
Wynonna -- Tell Me Why.
When in Rome -- The Promise.
Be-Bop Deluxe -- RAIDING THE DIVINE ARCHIVE best-of: Jet Silver and the Dolls of Venus, Adventures in a Yorkshire Landscape, Maid in Heaven, Ships in the Night, Life in the Air Age, Kiss of Light, Sister Seagull, Modern Music, Fair Exchange, Sleep That Burns.
Barclay James Harvest -- THE HARVEST YEARS best-of: Early Morning, Mr. Sunshine, Pools of Blue, I Can't Go On Without You, Eden Unobtainable, Brother Thrush, Poor Wages, Taking Some Time On, Galadriel, Mocking Bird.
New Order -- Regret, True Faith.

My Usual Collection of upbeat rock&roll CD's for work does keep me moving & motivated, but I'm BORED. I'm bored with all the old familiar motivational stuff, & I'm bored with most of the new stuff I've recently tried unsuccessfully to break-in. & with the Really Bad new stuff, all movement & motivation grinds to a complete halt.
A couple nights this past week I got so bored musically that I even took to LISTENING TO THE RADIO. The music stations, I mean. & it didn't sound half bad....
Anyway.... "Passionate Kisses" is still a freakin' classic -- the version that's on MCC's COME ON COME ON, I mean. The later remixed version on her ESSENTIAL seems to bring her voice more out-front & she doesn't sound too excited -- & that's not good. I'm also a sucker for "The Hard Way," "You Win Again," "This Shirt," "Downtown Train".... MCC had a great run, but she needs a better best-of.
MCC wishes she had a band as great as Pam Tillis did. The best of Pam's stuff is classic, especially the old Jackie DeShannon/Searchers number "Whenever You Walk in the Room," a bittersweet lovesong that should've been a huge hit. "Homeward Looking Angel"'s a great twangy heart-puller as well, & I've grown to love "I Was Blown Away," which along with its great lovestory lyric features a wonderful though brief twangy-reel midsection. "Melancholy Child" is also 5-star stuff -- all these should've been huge hits. Whatever happened to this woman...?
Be-Bop? Well, SUNBURST FINISH is half of a great prog-rock album. Too bad most of the best stuff from it wasn't included on their single-disc best-of. Bill Nelson always did flashy, melodic, dramatic guitar work, & some of it's just plain gorgeous. Even if the songs don't work, the guitar usually does. But his Bowie/Ferry-style voice puts me off a bit, like he's not entirely serious or he's implying more than what's in the lyrics.
Among what's here, "Maid in Heaven" is too brief but just about perfect. "Life in the Air Age" gets better with repeated listenings, the lyrics are cool, & I love the tired, resigned electronic squiggles at the end. "Jet Silver and the Dolls of Venus" sounds very much like a Ziggy-era Bowie piece -- & I assume was so intended. "Kiss of Light" was intended as a single, & continues the direct approach of "Maid in Heaven." "Sister Seagull" has some more really nice guitar, not sure about the lyrics.
My pick for Be-Bop's best is still the hugely dramatic "Sleep That Burns," with more great soaring guitar & a nice nightmarish lyric. Best thing about the mechanical chugga-chugga "Ships in the Night" is the sax solo by Bill's brother Ian. Both these are from SUNBURST FINISH, as is the mean-spirited "Fair Exchange." Why isn't "Crying to the Sky" here? It has some of Bill's most gorgeous guitar work. Even "Heavenly Homes" would be more representative, & it has more stratospheric guitar. & the driving "Blazing Apostles" would be a nice addition.
I'll get back to these guys -- they have just enough talent & flashy pyrotechnics to keep me listening. Haven't figured out why their best stuff seems to have a Latin-like lilt to it...?
For me, Barclay James Harvest is still in the running for Worst Prog Band Ever. I'd love to love them -- they're from the right period & they've got all the right parts. But they're SO inconsistent, & they have whole ALBUMS that never get anywhere near Good -- try out OCTOBERON or XII & see what I mean.... ROLLING STONE once described them as "morose progressive rock," & there's a lot of truth to that....
Their best work is still 1977's GONE TO EARTH, where they rise above Average exactly 3 times: On the gorgeous, moody "Spirit on the Water," the soaring "Hymn," & the crashingly melodramatic "Poor Man's Moody Blues." You might also want to check-out their later "Ring of Changes" (their best ever!), "Play to the World" & "The Song They Love to Sing"....
But none of that stuff's up for consideration on THE HARVEST YEARS, which compiles "highlights" of BJH's first four early-'70s albums for EMI's progressive Harvest label. The earliest of this stuff is very lightweight, pastel psychedelic pop, utterly harmless, though they do know how to write a hook, & there are some darker undercurrents ("Mister Sunshine's not for me...."). On some of this, they sound like Syd Barrett's nervously straight younger brother.
"Brother Thrush" is the strongest, prettiest, catchiest of their early attempts at singalongs (even though it's set after the end of mankind), & "Poor Wages" starts their moodier, more dramatic streak. "Taking Some Time On" is a solid fuzz-guitar rocker in much the same vein as Badfinger's "Rock of All Ages" -- they should've done more stuff like this. But some of this early material is just unsuccessful -- though it was OK background music for mopping the floor at work.
"Galadriel" is a lighter-than-air portrait of an etheriel young woman, though I'm not sure about the LORD OF THE RINGS reference. "Mocking Bird" is rather good -- until the huge orchestra starts thrashing around & swamps it. Completely overdone -- BJH never did know when to quit.
I'll be listening to more of this -- including the slightly-later orchestrated stuff, still hoping to find more hidden greats....

Hope you've all been catching SOUND OPINIONS, rock critics Jim DeRogatis & Greg Kot's syndicated weekly music-news-reviews&interviews show (aired here every Sunday night at 10 p.m. on the University of Washington's KUOW-FM). In recent weeks they've had interviews with producer Joe Boyd looking back at the work of Nick Drake, & with former New Order bassist Peter Hooke talking about Joy Division & Ian Curtis. The Hooke interview included some tracks that reminded me just how great New Order's "Regret" & "True Faith" are -- I should try to hear the rest of their best-of someday soon. The only Joy Division tracks I've ever heard were the pieces played during this interview.... Jim & Greg also reviewed the Savages' SILENCE YOURSELF, & it sounds pretty intense, might have to check it out....

I still have a pretty-good-sized pile of mostly-unheard stuff here & will be going through it in bits & pieces as I've done lately with the Strawbs, Be-Bop & BJH. In the meantime, if you know of some music that'll light up my life & relieve the musical boredom, feel free to drop it in the comments section below.
More soon....

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

#670: Fall 1973

It's the Fall of 1973 in Boise, Idaho, & Life Is Good.
I'm in 9th grade at North Boise Junior High, just starting to figure out what I'm good at & what's ahead of me. I'm on the school newspaper staff, writing silly comedy columns for my mostly-silly classmates. I know I want to be a writer when I grow up.
I'm living in the basement of my parents' house on Bannock Street in the North End, just off of 23rd St., in a two-tone brown stucco house from the early '50s -- & for the first time ever I don't have to close my bedroom door to get some privacy, because except for calling me to dinner, nobody ever comes downstairs!
I'm writing in that basement -- short stories for English class & newspaper assignments mainly, & I'm playing the radio, & I'm reading constantly. Sometimes all three at once.
My Cousin Dave has joined the Navy, & somehow I've inherited several boxes full of his old science-fiction novels & short story collections, & old mid-'60s issues of GALAXY and WORLDS OF IF magazines, with stuff like Larry Niven's first stories, & classic old Harlan Ellison stories, Robert Silverberg, parts of Roger Zelazny's great CREATURES OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS, & LOTS more. I'd give anything to get those old magazines back now.
Among the books are Terry Carr's great BEST SCIENCE FICTION OF THE YEAR anthologies (with Graeme Leman's hilarious "Conversational Mode" & Joe Haldeman's gritty "Hero"), & tons of novels, & story collections from the mid-'60s that I'll never see anywhere ever again -- Tom Boardman's ABC'S OF SCIENCE FICTION, CONISSEUR'S SCIENCE FICTION, & probably even Harlan Ellison's OFFBEAT CLASSICS OF SF. All this stuff is rare & priceless now, & it's all long gone.
I trade-off almost all of it at The Used Bookstore that's a 2-minute bike ride from my house. I spend DAYS there, picking up newer SF magazines & stuff that I'm more interested in. This starts a lifelong addiction to SF, kicked-off by discovering ANALOG magazine & reading George R.R. Martin's amazing & surprisingly erotic "A Song for Lya." & the thousands of paperbacks in the store are available for a 2-books-for-1 trade, or for 25 cents each.
Back home the radio is going through a golden autumn. KFXD is kicking butt among pop stations in the Boise Valley, as it always did. They're playing stuff like Steely Dan's "My Old School," 10 C.C.'s "Rubber Bullets," Emerson, Lake and Palmer's "Still ... You Turn Me On," Pratt and MacClain's "When My Ship Comes In," Cozy Powell's "Dance With the Devil," Austin Roberts' "One Word," The Sutherland Brothers and Quiver's "You've Got Me Anyway," Elton John's "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding," "Grey Seal" & "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting," Matthew Fisher's "Interlude," Mike Oldfield's "Tubular Bells"....
Over on the FM dial there's signs of life, as KBBK uses their brand-new no-static-at-all computer-automated format to blast out Yes's "Starship Trooper," which I've never heard before -- though I soon obtain a copy of Yes's YESSONGS & start playing it over&over on my tape-player....
On the radio at night I can pick up Art Finley's talk-radio show from San Francisco, L.A. Kings hockey games from Los Angeles, oldies rock&roll from Vancouver B.C. Canada & Oklahoma City & El Paso, Texas, & all-news from Omaha. From right in town I get CBS's Radio Mystery Theater.
& if there's nothing good on the radio I've got dozens of cassettes filled with hits from the past few years & other silliness -- some of the hits go back to early 1971: The Wackers' "I Hardly Know Her Name," Kracker's "Because of You," Johnathan King's "A Tall Order for a Short Guy," Billy Lee Riley's "I've Got a Thing About You Baby," Manfred Mann's Earth Band's "Living Without You," Joni Mitchell's "Raised on Robbery" & loads more, stuff it takes me YEARS to find again after the tapes fall apart -- The Royal Guardsmen's "Snoopy's Christmas," The English Congregation's "Softly Whispering I Love You," Five Man Electrical Band's "Absolutely Right." Some I never find again -- like Heaven Bound's "Five Hundred Miles" & The Road Home's "Keep it in the Family."
My record collection at this point is Nothing Much -- lots of singles, but on albums only Neil Diamond, Bread, Lobo, The Carpenters, Three Dog Night, The Osmonds, Mike Oldfield. But when we visit my Cousin Jim's house, he's got a ton of albums left to him by Cousin Dave, & he puts on DAYS OF FUTURE PASSED and SGT. PEPPER and BEATLES '65 and The Monkees' HEADQUARTERS and The Turtles' HAPPY TOGETHER and Count Five's PSYCHOTIC REACTION and Tommy James & the Shondells' CRIMSON AND CLOVER, & tons more.
M*A*S*H and THE WALTONS are all I care about on TV -- MASH because it's so freakin' funny. & John-Boy Walton is my hero & role-model.
With Cousin Jim I ride my bike all over the city & never crash or get hit by cars. I somehow ride the bike all the way to the top of Highland View Drive -- halfway up the Boise Front, it seems like -- then turn & coast all the way back downhill, really picking up speed, & roll halfway across town through the North End, somehow avoiding cars & signal lights & stop signs & traffic cops.
I've just turned 14 years old, & I'm likely never going to have this much totally innocent fun ever again....

Monday, May 13, 2013

#669: The torture never stops

(No, this is not going to be a post about Frank Zappa, but thanks for playing....)
In these recent newspaper-reminiscences I've posted, I've left out one of the main reasons I don't do that kind of work anymore.
Because it's a high-stress job, & as a reporter it's VERY easy to get people angry at you without even trying.
You usually don't see it coming, but folks can go off about the craziest things.
I had one angry woman call me up after a domestic dispute she was involved in made the front page of the weekly paper I was working at. Her husband got charged with assault with a deadly weapon -- a kitchen knife.
She wasn't mad about the story -- which quoted her kids telling police that Daddy said he was "going to cut Mommy's head off." That didn't bother her.
What she was upset about was the HEADLINE, which covered all the cases that got into court that week -- which included some meth-possession cases -- & which she said made her sound like a meth freak.
"All my neighbors and friends think I'm methed out of my head now," she said.
I explained that the story didn't say that.... That wasn't good enough for her. She hadn't actually READ the story. So I READ THE STORY TO HER OVER THE PHONE, to make it clearer. She was still pissed about the headline. Finally I said I couldn't teach her friends & neighbors how to read....
After a downtown house fire on a Saturday evening destroyed an apartment building & set-off some ammunition somebody had stored there, when I got into work on Monday I called the Fire Chief for more details about what happened. He didn't have 5 minutes to talk to me -- he said he was too busy running water lines for the new Fire Hall. He didn't want any of the other firefighters to talk to me about it either, said I'd have to wait 'til he was available -- then hung up.
I called him back at 10 p.m. that night, & he STILL didn't have time to talk to me.
But we were a daily paper (published Tuesday through Saturday mornings). So I got what details I could from the Sheriff's Office & went ahead & wrote the story without the Fire Chief -- but left in quotes from him about how & why he avoided me.
& naturally, the next day when I got to work, the Fire Chief was in my Publisher's office, yelling at my Editor & my Publisher about what a backstabbing scumbag I was.
"I've lived here for 35 years and I don't have to take this kind of shit from you!" he yelled.
"I just want to know two things," I said. "Did I get any of the details wrong?"
"No!"
"Did I quote you accurately?"
"Well, yeah, but...."
"I'm outta here," I said, & left my bosses to argue with the Fire Chief -- who wanted to get me fired for not waiting to talk to him.
This kind of stuff happened ALL THE TIME. It was so stressful, the Publisher & I used to have closed-door meetings once a month so we could yell at each other & get all the stress out....
When we printed a photo on the front page of a fisherman's body that was fished out of the river after he'd been missing for a month, people called & yelled at us about that -- even though all you could see was a big gray bag being carried by four guys.
When a prominent local lawyer ran for Mayor -- then got arrested on a meth-possession charge, I wrote the story. & then the Editor & I sat on it for 3 days because we just weren't sure. This was a story that could ruin someone's life. Then our Publisher ordered us to get off the pot & print the story. We ran it on Page 2.
& the next day the Mayoral candidate called up crying. How could I DO this to her, she asked. I'd interviewed her, I'd been IN HER HOUSE! Her husband, also a lawyer, who was listening in on the phonecall, asked if they could've had a little advance warning about the story. I suggested that if they'd had any warning, they probably would've tried to stop the story from being printed.
He laughed & said I was probably right.
I apologized to his wife, who I thought was a good person, & said I was sorry for how things had gone, & that I hoped it would all work out in the end.
She lost the election & never spoke to me again. I'm not sure what happened with the meth charge.
When I was in the Air Force, I got used to defending my writing against people who didn't understand what I did -- but who outranked me, so what they wanted was what went. I got pretty good at it anyway, even convincing some that I was right.
But in the Real World, everybody outranked me. No amount of Good Work I did (& I think I did a LOT) ever made it any easier. No doors opened more easily just because I was good at my job. There was never any big payoff or reward. There were never any "better" jobs offered other than in-the-trenches reporter or small-town editor.
& I can't remember how many times people called at midnight or 4 a.m., spilled their guts to me for two hours, & then said "This is all off-the-record, you can't use any of this, I never called you" ... even AFTER I told them at the start of the phonecall that I'd be taking notes.... But I always tried to be A Good Guy....
When I was in the AF, my old buddy & fellow editor Phil Guerrero had a joke about the kind of long, involved stories I used to write: "Keep typing 'til it makes sense!" For years, that was my motto.
But I got to the point where no amount of explaining made any difference, where everything was just too complicated, & I could no longer even find the main reason I was writing some things. For much of the last four years of my "career," I'd go into work on Monday morning, down a pot of coffee, write the entire front page of the paper, & go home that night not remembering anything I'd written.
Journalism is a career for a young person with lots of time & lots of energy & no social life. It's the kiss of death for marriages & families. You wouldn't believe how many divorced, alcoholic, unhappy reporters I met over the years....
& when I got to the point where I couldn't remember the basics, couldn't keep the facts straight, was making stupid mistakes, couldn't make any sense out of anything I was writing, no matter how much I tried to explain -- I knew it was time to retire.
That was 11 years ago, & I don't miss much of it.