#610: Powered by cashews

Hey, everybody needs SOMETHING, right? The stress of my job has turned me in2 a 2-pack-a-day man. & I'm not talking about cigarettes. I'm talking about an addiction MUCH more insidious, something that will send you to the Emergency Room MUCH faster.
I'm talking about cashews. Nature's perfect food. They're rich & tasty, they're salty, they're crunchy, they're not-too-filling. & there's something I think the weight-loss industry has missed-out on: If you overdo it on cashews, the weight will simply FALL OFF. Trust me on this.
I ought to patent "The Cashew Diet." I'm sure much of the reason 4 my still-fairly-trim figure is largely due 2 cashews. This isn't my 1st food addiction, but it's probly 1 of the longest-lasting. 4 at least the 9 years I've worked at the gas station, I've had 2 have at least 1 3-ounce package of cashews per day just 2 function. & on bad days that number goes up.
I'm not truly settled-in at work until I've started drinking a bottle of pineapple-mango-orange juice & started munching on a pack of cashews. Then I can Get On With It.
But the addiction goes back much farther. I remember discovering giant plastic jars of cashews at WalMart or Costco, taking the discount-priced treasure home, then going thru the whole thing in 2 or 3 days....
No wonder I ended up in the Emergency Room....
Of course, the longest lasting addiction I've had is coffee, with as much sugar & cream in it as I can stand. I don't think I'll ever break away from that 1. I started drinking coffee around age 13, even tho my Mother warned me away from it. In my 20's, my best friend Don Vincent & I could go thru multiple pots of coffee a day between the 2 of us.
Even now, I won't get out of bed if there's no coffee in the house. What's the point? & tho I can't drink much more than 2 big cups now B4 I start jittering 2 pieces, I've GOT 2 have it B4 I can get anywhere NEAR human. I never drive without at least 1 cup of coffee in me. & I can't face The Public without 2....
When I was younger, I had more food addictions, uglier 1's. I was a sucker 4 all kinds of candy & gum when I was a kid -- I'd chew gum til my jaws got tired. & 4 YEARS I was addicted 2 wint-o-green Life Savers, another perfect food. 2 bad you can't live on them....
After highschool, I became so hooked on cheeseburgers & chocolate milkshakes that it was practically a daily obsession. But 2 months of eating most of my meals at McDonald's while settling in2 my 1st newspaper job in Washington state may have ground that longtime addiction out of me. Now I can go MONTHS without a burger. & I can't REMEMBER the last time I had a chocolate shake....
Slightly later, when I was spending lotsa late nites at certain 24-hour cafes around the Boise, Idaho area, my perfect meal was a bacon&cheese omelette with a tossed green salad on the side, & a chocolate shake 2 wash it down. Guess you could say my taste "matured." Rumor had it that I married my X-wife because she made great omelettes. Mmmm, could be....
During my 2 years in Turkey with the Air Force, I lived on chocolate-frosted Pop Tarts -- for lunch, snacks, sometimes dinner -- 2 the point that when I left Turkey, my co-workers gave me a Turkish brass plate engraved with my name, the front of a box of Pop Tarts, & the legend "The Pop Tart Kid." The plate's still hanging on my bedroom wall. & the last time I saw a box of chocolate Pop Tarts, I finished it off in a couple of days....
These junk-food addictions, these guilty pleasures, they apparently run 4 awhile & then I'm cured. I figure I'll never get over my love 4 pizza, tacos, spaghetti, lasagna -- even a good burger. But this other stuff that's probly bad 4 me -- well, that's like listening 2 The Carpenters when you've got Led Zeppelin in the music collection, right?
I'm actually showing SOME signs of growing up, tho -- after years of struggling, a friend FINALLY got me 2 start taking vitamins & try 2 eat better. & it actually seems 2 B WORKING. At least sometimes.
Jeez, they'll expect me 2 start EXERCISING next....